No one is more optimistic at the beginning of a baseball game than the guy sitting in the first row near third base who brought his own baseball glove, hopeful for a foul ball that veers into the crowd, and pops solidly into his leathered hand.The pitcher hurtles the ball at somewhere between 70 and 100 miles an hour. The batter pounds that sucker with a swing force of Hurricane Katrina which means that if you are in the path of the ball, it is traveling at the speed of “break your fingers off.” And some guy from Yakima, Washington, who is wearing glasses and an Ichiro Number 51 Seattle Mariners jersey holds out his Little League glove in pure belief.
That, my friend, is the American Spirit at its purest.
Now, to know about foul balls, you’ve got to know something about the baseball field. When someone refers to the baseball diamond, that’s the square diamond closest to the crowd . Home plate is at the bottom (think six o’clock on a clock, and each of the points of the diamond is a base – 3 o’clock is First, Noon in Second and 9 o’clock is third base. Inside the diamond and the running path is the infield, and everything outside of that to the wall is the outfield. If you take the lines from the diamond from home plate and extend them straight out, you have the foul line. That foul line extends out until it hits the wall and is marked in the stands by a tall pole next to the wall. If a ball lands outside the foul line or to the outside of the foul pole, it is a foul. If it is inside the foul pole, it’s fair and you should stand up and start cheering because that means its a homerun.
A foul ball is counted as a strike unless there are two strikes already and then a foul doesn’t count against the batter unless it is caught by the opposing team before it hits the ground. (Baseball, you see, is a game of many chances.) So a batter can keep fouling off balls and stay at bat for a long time if he has a good eye. (Ahhh. That makes me miss Edgar!)
If the opposing team is not able to catch the foul balls, who is catching them? Yup. The Crowd. That goofy guy in the Manny Ramirez Boston Red Sox jersey. The guy who bring his glove to the game.
When a ball goes into the crowd, it’s like watching a car wreck. You can’t help but watch and see if anyone gets hurt. People scramble for the ball, pushing over small children and old people alike, then the victor emerge from the waters, holding it up as a trophy, basking in the applause of the crowd, a crowing testament to his fanhood.
Me, I am a chicken. The Boyfriend got really good seats to a Seattle Mariners game one year, and they were definitely in foul territory. I told The Boyfriend that if a foul ball came directly at me, I was ducking to the ground and he needed to lean over and catch it for me. Now I know that some people, like Joanie the Softball Diva and Terminal New York Yankees Fan would not only catch her own ball, but would leap over the front three rows of people if the ball happened to be coming at another girlfriend who was too much of a noodle to catch it. But not me.
Me? I think they should issue a cafeteria tray to everyone in the high risk seats. Not today’s wimpy fast food trays, but the older hot lunch fiberglass trays of our elementary school days. It’s the perfect solution. If the ball is coming your way, put up your tray in a defensive motion and bounce it off. Then at the end of the game, pick up the leftover wrappers, cups, and nacho boats on the floor around your seat and deposit the tray near the garbage can near the exit. No one gets hurt and everyone picks up after themselves. It would be a great promotional night -- Complimentary Cafeteria Tray Night with your home team's logo on the front.
So, girlfriend, if you are going to a live game, follow your instincts. If you have a glove, and you have a competitive spirit, bring it on and join the teaming masses yearning to be shag flies from the comfort of their risk-taking seats. Or you are always welcomed to join me. I’ll be the one under the stadium seat next to you.
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