Baseball Is Like Dating

When you first start to watch baseball, the games seem too long. So watch strategically. The first couple innings of a game and the last three innings tend to be the most exciting to watch. The first innings are fun because the players haven’t figured each other out yet, especially early in the season. It’s a lot like a date. When you first go out, you don’t know his sense of humor or his sleaze factor or his ability to communicate. So you check him out, you test him, you make small talk. After the second or third date, you begin to be able to predict him, so you respond accordingly and are less likely to make stupid comments or mistakes.

Baseball is like lot like that kind of date. In the beginning of the season and at the beginning of the game, the teams are still figuring each other out. There’s new guys, players have been working out and changing their batting stances, and pitchers may have working on some new pitches. No matter how much footage you’ve seen, (much like a video entry on an internet dating service), it is not until you are throwing and swinging and reacting that you know how the match is going to work.

Watching these beginning relationships is like being in a restaurant and eavesdropping on the conversation of a couple sitting at a nearby table who is obviously on their first date. When pitchers and batters first meet in the batting order, there is more likely to be mistakes and opportunities, thus higher scores and more exciting to watch. Once or twice through the batting order, things settle down because the team has seen what the other has to offer and they adjust accordingly. You often see really solid ball playing, but you might often find the fourth, fifth and sixth innings to be the most snoozy if you aren’t into the technical stuff. This is a good time to make some phone calls or fold the laundry. If you get sleepy during a game, put your head in the lap of The Boyfriend and take a little nap. Or better yet, put your feet in his lap in case he jumps up in response to a very exciting play in the fifth inning and totally blows my theory to hell.

In the last third of the game, not always, but often enough to plan for it, players get tired. Pitchers start wearing out and make mistakes which the batters take advantage of and hit out of the park. Relief pitchers come in and sometimes make things worse. Catchers start to drop catches and runners steal bases. That’s when it gets fun again. Like bumps in a long term relationship, mistakes are made, balls are dropped and connections aren’t made, new relationships start, and things happen fast. So plan your viewing accordingly. Lots of good baseball can happen during the 4th, 5th, and 6th inning, but if you aren’t going to watch the whole game, watch the first innings and the last innings.