Nicky’s Guide to Her First MLB Game

I was out celebrating a birthday earlier this spring when talk turned to baseball with the Drummer Dude from Homer who is a big Detroit Tigers fan.  “Yeah I’m hoping to take Nicky to a game when we go back east this summer.  She’s never been to a MLB game.”  Nicky sitting across the table piped up, “What’s MLB?”   She was serious. 

My eyes lit up.  Nicky was a Girlfriend waiting to happen.

“Don’t worry, Nicky.  I got your back on this one.” I told her. 

So this guide is for her and anyone who isn’t into baseball and is going to their first game in a Major League Stadium. Follow these guidelines and you can have a fabulous time even if you don't know anything about baseball.

Rule #1:  Realize that going to a game at a Major League Park is not the same as watching baseball. Trust me. You can see the game better on TV. This is about going to the Park and having a tribal experience. MLB parks are much more devoted to the fan enjoyment these days than in the past. Soak it up. A baseball stadium can feel like a cathedral. Especially enjoy that moment when you first approach your first view of the field. It will take your breath away.

Rule #2: Get a program.  This does two things.  It gives you the roster for the teams so you can get to know the players and it also gives you a glossy magazine to read and look at during slow innings.

Rule #3:  Locate your scoreboard.  The scoreboard keeps track of the most important things for you— Runs, strikes, balls and outs,  who is batting, who is pitching, the batting order, statistics. There are usually some scoreboards are located around the park so all the fans can see them from their seats. Look at it every once in awhile. They often list fun trivia about the players and a bit of bio.  Makes it feel like you are rooting for your high school team. 

Rule #4:   Watch the Jumbotron.  Always play the games up there such as the boat races or the hat trick. Text your answer to the music trivia quiz.  Look for kiss cam or the dance cam.  Watch the blooper reel. Cheer for the guy who just turned 100 years old. Every park does it differently but every park does it.  

Rule #5:  Do the wave. Old timers and serious baseball fans barely lift their finger when the wave hits their section but ignore them. At my first Red Sox game at Fenway, we had a marginal seat in the bleachers behind a column, but the highlight of the game for me was participating in my first Wave.

Rule #6: It goes without saying that you need to be there in time to sing “The Star Spangled Banner” before the game starts and  “Take me Out to the Ball Game” or whatever they sing at Comerica during the 7^th Inning Stretch.

Rule #7: At some point, take a walk all the way around the park but don’t do it until the 4^th, 5^th or 6^th inning.   You  don’t want to blow your wad right at the beginning so save it when the game gets a little draggy and boring in the middle. It is fun to see the different perspectives of the field from the different section and check out what the stadium has to offer.  The Boyfriend and I once walked around AT&T Park in San Francisco and happened to be by the back wall looking at the water and watching the sunset, just as a Giants home run came sailing out of the park and into the water.  We got to see a kayaker pursue chase and fish the home run ball out of the water.  Now that’s a true San Francisco experience!

Rule #8:  Download out a baseball stadium app.   Now don’t spend your time with your nose in your phone. You should be looking around, not down. That being said, there are some fun apps to help you get more out of the experience.  MLB has one called At the Ball Park which gives you information about all the MLB stadiums.  For Comerica Park, I found that there’s a list of favorite tunes by Tiger Players you can purchase,  that standing on ballpark seats is prohibited,  and that Ford Field, home of the Detroit Lions, is just across the street.  You can Facebook a selfie of you and The Drummer Dude from the Park in front of those big cool Tigers out front. And, you can start a check-in list of which ball fields you have been to.  One down, my friend. 

Rule #9:   Don’t be an asshole.   (Not that you ever would, Nicky.  You are too nice for that.) But some folks need reminding.  Even if none of these rules help, and you are having a miserable time-- don’t badmouth the game, talk on your cell phone, complain that you are bored, or get too drunk or pick a fight with your companion.  People really love baseball and we Alaskans so rarely get a chance to get to a real live stadium. So don’t spoil it for the folks around you.  

Rule #10:  Wear your team colors.   If you got gear, put it on.  Get a baseball cap.  Heck, get a big puffy finger if you want.   It will help get you into the crowd “wah”.   I know you both are members of the Krewe of Gambrinus, so dig out your navy, white, and orange Mardi Gras beads.  (It’s okay, it is for baseball, not Mardi Gras so you can wear them out of season. )

Rule #11:   Wear sunscreen if it is a day game.  I forgot one sunny day in Seattle and I ended up with the most scarlet arm and left cheek in the city. We were sitting behind third base.

Rule #12:  I don’t know much about the Detroit Stadium and its location but make sure to catch the ambience outside and around the stadium.  Walk to the game if possible and stop in a sports bar along the way. Soak up the fan vibe and people watch as others walk to the game.  Check out the colorful characters that a game brings out.  Seattle has a great stadium for this guideline. We try to walk from downtown as the crowds start the migration. There’s a great tiny bar about a block from the Stadium call the Triangle  (Yup, two great bars in the world called the Triangle) and we always stop, order their Rainier special and watch people walking to the game.  The Boyfriend especially likes nodding to the rowdy Red Sox fans as they walk by in a sea of polite Mariner aficionados.

Rule #13:  Observe basic baseball etiquette.  Wait to leave or head back to your seat until between batters.  Don’t talk on the cell phone because you are bored.  Keep your peanut shell mess located beneath you and not in your neighbor’s space. Pass the hotdogs or the change down to the person in your row to whom it belongs. Don’t hold a big sign that blocks anyone’s view.

Rule #14:  Watch out for flying balls and bats.  The better your seat, the more likely you are in foul territory.  You are an athletic type, so feel free to jump for it. Drummer Dude seems like the type who would also dive for the ball.  Wimps like me look around me to see who brought their mitts and will provide protection. Remember, like in airplane exits, the nearest saviors may be located behind you.   Or you can reference my column on foul balls and sneak a cafeteria tray into your knapsack.

I am sure readers have other suggestions as well.  I'd love to hear them.

And yes, security is going to check your purse or bag before you go into the park, so be discreet about your tampons. Have an awesome time. Facebook us all a picture with those awesome Tigers!

It is Opening Day and the fat lady is warming up...

The Boyfriend and I were at Sullivan’s one day, a swank place with live music in the bar and sports on TV.  My attention turned to a sports analyst's dissection of a boxing match on the closest set, complete with animations,  electronic chalk and men spit-sprayin'-passionate about the sport.

"I think boxing is like opera," I said to Joe.  "There are some people who get it and love it and see all the little details in it that make them appreciate the skill. The rest of us just thinks it's  barbaric, stupid and incredibly painful to watch."

He looked at me and said, "That sounds like baseball. "

I think the Boyfriend is onto something.

Think about it. Opera has the great opera houses around the world. The Metropolitan in New York. The soaring Sidney Opera House and the Bolshoi in Moscow.  Baseball has its own domes of drama, Fenway,  Yankee Stadium, Wrigley Field. Miller Park. (You don't think that the sausages running around the bases in Milwaukee aren't yelling at each other in the language of Puccini and Wagner? The bratwurst huffing in German and the Italian sausage emoting in language of Isabella Rossellini? If we listen close enough, we might hear Chorizo sounding uncannily like Rolando Villazon, the famous Mexican tenor.)

Yogi Berra (quoted 90 percent of the time for half of the things he actually said) said "it ain't over 'til the fat lady sings." He is, of course, referring to the Nordic women of Wagner’s Ring Triology with their thick braids and metal breastplates.   But he could have easily been thinking about the protective gear of umpires, especially the old National League which

made them look like Helga with five o’clock shadow. Kommen Sie Heraus! You are outta here!

Operas feature folks with grand egos and are filled with drama.  You can even be a prima donna who is not particularly likable but as long as you can hit a high note and hold it until the rafter shakes and the audience is in tears, then all is forgiven.  Same in baseball. If you are good and can deliver, you still got fans. Think Barry Bonds and Manny Rameriez. Ty Cobb and  Alex Rodriguez.

Tickets are starting to be about the same price for both performances, though they don't let you bring nacho boats into the concert hall.  You do get to preorder your drinks for the intermission at the opera company in my town which I find very civilized, They put your glass of chardonnay out on a cloth covered table with your name written neatly on your receipt. And no one steals it because if you paid that much for a ticket, you can afford your own glass of $8 Chardonnay .  Though I imagine if baseball fans could only order beers between innings and only out in the lobby it would be a madhouse.  We would be back to the boxing match play by play.  I guess my analogy breaks down at some point.

In the old days, opera was really theater for everyone, including the commoners . Like in baseball,  the poorer folks were in the cheap seats shouting "you bum!"  at the big fat guy who really had no chance with the mezzo-soprano but was pouring his heart out anyway.   Audience participation was part of the fun.

Mozart, who wrote the Magic Flute and Don Giovanni, wrote his operas for the common people.  I have to think that if Mozart was alive and a baseball fan, he would be the resident  organist at Wrigley Field. Mozart died without seeing much success in his life, so I have to think he could relate to the Chicago Cubs. Requiem in Nine Innings. Take me out to the ball game and die a slow noisy death.

Because we know that in opera, (SPOILER ALERT) someone always dies.  In Tosca, there are firing squads, betrayal, knifings and a spectacular leap over the side of the castle wall at the end of the performance. Look at last year's season with the Mariners and tell me that all of those things didn't happen? (Well, maybe not the knifing.)  Someone always wins and someone always loses at a baseball game.  If you are a committed fan and your team loses, sometimes it feels like you are the one who fell on the knife, who drank the poison, who got shot through the heart by one you adored but who betrayed you.  And late in the season, you may be tempted to make Faustian deal with the devil to have at least one World Series Championship under your team's belt.

I guess these are acquired tastes that you absorb by being born onto an opera loving family or hanging out with passionate fans who tell you what you are obviously missing.  Baseball, like opera, when it is good, it is very, very good. It leaves you satisfied and contented with the satisfaction of seeing talented people perform a thing of beauty. When opera is bad, it is really, really bad.   When baseball is bad, well, there is always another game  (weather permitting. ) 

Oh, you ask, does The Boyfriend like opera as much as I do?  Barbaric, stupid and incredibly painful to listen to. I did not come up with those words myself.

It is Opening Day. Let the curtain rise and the games begin. Bravo!

So what’s the hype about spring training?

A Report From Boston Red Sox Spring Training

--Submitted by The Sister Turned Red Sox Fanatic

My husband and I just returned from Boston Red Sox Spring Training at JetBlue Park in Ft. Myers, Florida, USA. I felt like I should add U.S.A because it totally felt like an other-world experience. Going to spring training at least once appears on (almost) every Red Sox fan’s “bucket list. So is it worth the hype? Absolutely.  And then some.  It’s magic!
 

Let me make one thing clear up front—going to spring training is only a tiny bit about baseball.  Actually, the seven games we saw in two weeks were probably some of the lamest baseball, I have ever seen.  The first four innings might offer a hint of what will happen in the season ahead as at least some of the big leaguers show up early in the game. The starting pitchers rotate in and out like divas. The infielders spend a lot of time man-hugging their buds from opposing teams. The outfielders turn their faces into the warm Florida rays like sunflowers until the crowd noises suggest that someone hit the ball and they snap back into action. The umpires strut just because that’s what they do. Their “protective equipment” is probably a bit snug after a winter of whatever. Instant replays this year in MLB will make them pay a bit more attention.  And no one spits.

By the fifth inning, sooner if the manager deems, Red Sox wannabes rotate into the game; the roster can go to complete unknowns in seconds. Lots of Bryces and Brooks and Bretts coming up, I see.   Then the chaos begins. I saw innings with 5 errors, six walks prior to the first out, rookies knocking over anyone near home plate on the slide in, and spectacular bobbles in the outfield. And the crowd, so not Fenway. 

Missing were the beer-soaked four-sport fans from Boston who bad- mouth the players and the managers because they can (so not Fenway). The vendors actually sell beer in the cheap seats (so not Fenway).  Fans from other teams with training facilities in Florida just come to the game because it’s fun (that is so like Fenway). Even Yankee fans were pretty tolerable, so not Fenway (ok, we all drank a lot of beer).

So what’s the hype?  Just approaching JetBlue Park amidst the fluttering flags declaring “Fenway South”, the oversize banner proclaiming the Boston Red Sox as champions of the universe (took some literary liberty there) and a replica of the Ted Williams statue at Fenway were emotionally overwhelming. You aren’t even in the park yet and you are bleeding Red Sox proud!  When you enter the park, you are struck by the eerie familiarity of the Green Monster and the Pesky Pole. Sitting in a game at Spring Training drinking a beer when it’s 85 degrees makes you believe that despite arguably the longest winter in history, that summer will come again and with it the promise that all things are possible (or possible again in the case of the Red Sox). Hearing the familiar “play ball!” and the national anthem, and Sweet Caroline, and “Get Your Beer Here!” made me very emotional (ok, I sobbed). 

Generations of Red Sox fans from newborns in “B” emblazed onesies to wizened retirees (half of New England retires in Florida) offer a collective embrace of the new season. The intimacy of the park with only 11,000 seats encourages spontaneous conversation and free flowing opinions about “their chances” this year. Lots of high fives are exchanged as well as occasional bemoaning about who deserted the Red Sox for more money. There is predictably, enthusiastic cheering when the scoreboard shows the Yankees losing to anyone. So as the experience is so not Fenway, it is so Fenway. It is such a wonderful illustration of the paradox that is baseball in New England.  As fans we want everthing to be different but we don’t want anything to change. 

Yes, spring training is definitely worth the hype! 

High Hopes, High Anxiety: Scouting Report from the Softball Diva

OPENING GAME: Tuesday, April 1.  N.Y. Yankees at Houston Astros

OPENING GAME AT HOME, Monday April 7. Baltimore Orioles at N.Y. Yankees
 

Report from the Softball Diva and Terminal Yankees Fan

NEW YORK, NY - Oh, yeah, sure, the Yankees totally scrapped the idea of getting their payroll under $189 million this year when the various big cheeses realized zillions of dollars were being lost with lower attendance and fewer eyeballs on YES (Yankees Entertainment & Sports Network).    Amazingly, the Yankees played meaningful games until the last two weeks of the season last year, and that was done with a team ravaged by major injuries.    The only bright spot was the adulation and adoration that greeted Mariano Rivera on his farewell tour.   He was greeted at every stadium like a rock star.   In fact, some big rock stars, Metallica, were instrumental in rocking the Stadium on Mariano Rivera Day in the Bronx.  And now Mo’s gone off into the sunset leaving die-hard Yankee fans with wonderful, poignant memories of the sweet man who was the greatest closer ever.   Sigh.   But I digress.

So, yeah, 2013 was a year of not making the playoffs for only the second time since 1995.  Yep, we Yankee fans are spoiled.   It obviously became time to open up the wallets, and Hal Steinbrenner and his crew did just that.    Oh, it was sweet, just like the days when the old man, THE BOSS, bought every super star he could and then demanded a championship.  Maybe Hal is a chip off the old block.  The Yanks went out and got a great, and I mean great new catcher from the Atlanta Braves ……Brian McCann.   He is a lefty, and he is going to love the short porch in right field where he might hit, say, 30 home runs, and he is supposed to be excellent with the pitching staff.   He’s a tough guy, too, and he is already being compared to  Thurmon Munson, a very beloved Yankee catcher.   

Then the Yanks spent more money on Jacoby Ellsbury, former superstar center fielder from the Red Sox.   Great speed and great hitting and great fielding if…..and it’s the first of many “ifs”…..if he can stay healthy.   Carlos Beltran always wanted to play for the Yankees.    They wrapped him up, too, with a lucrative contract.    He’s a switch hitter, and he, along with Mark Texiera, another prolific switch hitter back from missing almost all of last year, should make the lineup much, much stronger IF they both stay healthy.  

To top it all off, the Yanks went out and outbid everyone for Masahiro Tanaka, the Japanese phenom who was 24-0 last year.   He’s never pitched in the big leagues, but the Yanks have scouted him for years, and most people in the biz think he is the real deal.   Yanks Ace CC Sabathia had a very subpar year last year, but he is back feeling stronger than ever, and he shed 40 lbs.    That may be good or bad.    He seemed to have a lot more success when his waistline expanded.   We shall see IF he regains his form that has made him such a stud in the past.   And just maybe after two years of never even playing in a game for the Yankees, Michael Pineda will be ready to contribute …..or at least compete for the fifth spot in the rotation  IF he recovers fully from the shoulder surgery that knocked him out for two years.   The Yankees will have Sabathia, Hiroki Kuroda, Tanaka, Ivan Nova, and whoever wins the fifth spot.   It will be a much improved rotation, again IF…..everyone stays healthy…..tired of hearing it?   

The Yankees have spent about $450 million for 4 players…..and oh, yeah, lots of money was freed up when A-Rod decided to take a sabbatical to ponder the mysteries of life and how he could better serve the universe.   That sounded almost believable, right? 

So there really is a lot to be excited about.   Of course there is a lot to be worried about, too.   Texiera may still have lingering wrist issues.   CC might continue to underperform.   Ellsbury and Beltran are injury prone…so is Brian Roberts, our new 36-year-old second baseman who has the unenviable task of taking the place of Robinson Cano.   Gulp!   Tanaka could find the rigors of pitching every 5 days and working with a bigger baseball than they had in Japan and the specter of facing major league ball players quite overwhelming.   I doubt it, but he could really stink in his first year in the majors.   And Kelly Johnson (who?) might not handle third base very well.   (Not that anyone is missing Alex Rodriguez at the hot corner.)  David Robertson, our excellent 8^th inning bullpen guy from last year is going to now be our closer.   No one can replace Mo, but Robertson’s going to try.   If he is a bust, there aren’t others lined up to move into that spot.   In simple terms, there is a lot that can go wrong.

In fact, the more I think about it…..oh, brother.     Where is my Prozac?   But wait…..just wait a minute.   DEREK JETER…..the Captain, the face of the franchise, one of the best Yankees ever, has said that this 2014 season will be his last.   Oh, the pain, the inevitable truth that Father Time wins all the battles in the end.   Jeter only played 17 games last year after a broken ankle suffered in the first game of the American League Championship Series in 2012.  He went down in agony, and the Yanks went down swiftly losing four games to the Detroit Tigers.   It seemed the Yanks never recovered from Jeter’s injury all through the 2013 season, but he is back for one final season.    He tells us that his ankle is fine, fully recovered and he expects to play well, very well, up to his usual standards of excellence.  

Of course Jeter will be 40 in June.   No team has ever won a World Series with an everyday shortstop over 36…..and yes, he might break down.   More Prozac, please!

But no one wants to see him fail, and he wants to win more than anything.   His desire should fuel not only himself, but his teammates.   Everyone wants him to do well.   He just wants to win.   It’s really the only thing that matters in the Yankee Universe.

In conclusion, I will boldly state on the record that Jeter and the Yanks go deep, very deep into October.  Furthermore, Jeter gets his sixth ring; the Yanks will win their 28^th Championship!     It most definitely could happen.    Lots of high hopes…..as far as the anxiety, a couple cold ones will help.   No need for Prozac for this fan.

 

GO YANKEEEEEEEEEEES!!!!!!

This is for you, girlfriend.

Admit it. You don’t get baseball. Why do people get so crazy about it? It is hardly America’s national pastime any more. That accolade belongs to football. And football makes sense. Big guys push around other big guys and the little guy with the ball runs really fast. Got it. You can’t ever remember watching an entire game of baseball ever. And now you’ve gone and got involved with a baseball fanatic. Someone whose idea of an exciting date is to go to a bar, order a Miller High Life and watch a Red Sox/Yankees game. And can think that a 2-1 score can be the most exciting game that he ever saw. (Of course, only if the Red Sox win.)

I’ve been there. My family were Green Bay Packer fans so we were genetic MOFFs (More Of a Football Fan). The only baseball games I went to were a few in college and that was more for the tailgate parties and a chance to meet guys than for the game.

And then I started a long distance relationship with a Red Sox fan whose best friend was a Cleveland Indians fan. Sitting on the couch between them and their banter, I figured out quickly that if I wasn’t going to be left behind, I had to learn something about baseball. Up until then, baseball appeared to me to be a game of nothing more than grown men waiting for something to happen: waiting to throw a ball, waiting to hit a ball and waiting for someone to come to your base and waiting for a ball to pop up and come to you in the outfield.

So I kept asking questions of the Boyfriend and the Baseball Buddy. Why does that batter fight with the ump? Shouldn't he be nice to him? Why does the batter go through that funky ritual every blooming time he bats? Isn't that against the rules to try to take out the second baseman when you slide?

It took me awhile, but I found it. I found something that makes me really like the game. It’s the quirkiness, the personalities, the superstitions, the rituals, the teamwork, and the oddities that make me really like this game. Stats still bore me and I’m not one to analyze to death whether a manager should have taken out a starting pitcher sooner and I often fall asleep during the 4^th, 5^th, and 6^th Innings. But baseball is a great game, and if you approach it right, I bet you’ll discover that for yourself. And maybe you’ll fall in love with baseball even if you fall out of love with the boyfriend. So first you have to understand the game just enough to watch it. Then you got to find the fun stuff in it and ignore the stuff that bores you to tears.

This is for you, girlfriend.