The Girlfriend's Guide to Baseball

BASEBALL 101: Part One, The Ball

2009-04-12T23:12:00.004-08:00

So the season has begun and we’ve established that April is a time for spring training for the fans. Let’s go back to basics and learn more about the very basic tools about baseball. Baseball is played in many different parts of the world from the big luxury stadiums designed for Major League Baseball in the United States all the way down to the sandlots and backyards and city streets where a bunch of kids make it up as they go along. But there are some basics that everyone uses. Bats, balls, sometimes gloves, and something that designates bases. So as you are learning your team rosters and trying to match new names to new faces (or enjoying having the old faces back) let’s talk about Baseball 101. Let’s start with the ball.

You already know that a ball has 108 red stitches around a ball of white (the same number of beads that are in a rosary Annie swears in Bull Durham.) Here’s a couple other interesting things to impress your friends.

Delaware River Mud

11 dozen

Puerto Rico

Holstein Cows

Let’s start by getting our hands dirty. It surprised me to find out that in the Major League Games, those baseballs that looks so pristine and white on TV or at the ball field are all rubbed with mud before the game. Not just any mud, but Delaware River Mud, or more accurately Lena Blackburne Rubbing Mud. You see, those bright white balls are more easily seen by the batter. One website claims you can see a clean white ball from an airplane flying over a field. That puts the pitcher at a big disadvantage, though how anyone can see a 95 mph fast ball is beyond me anyway but I guess the whiter it is, the easier it is to see. Also, a shiny ball is harder to get a grip on for the pitcher. So to even up the score in the Big Leagues, the balls get rubbed with mud. Before 1939, seems like any old mud, or tobacco juice or shoe polish was good enough but a man named Lena Blackburne discovered a special kind of mud in the Delaware River that didn’t ruin the leather cover like some mud did or scratch up the surface. Now that’s the preferred mud that is used and it’s exact location of where the mud is harvested from is kept secret but it is know that it is somewhere on the Delaware River and in New Jersey. The mud is so famous that it was enshrined in the Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown in 1969. (Now, there’s baseball trivia for you!)

Sometimes it’s the umpire or an umpire’s assistant that gets the dirty duty and sometimes it is a special person assigned the task. It is an important task. You got to get it on even and in the seams.

(Note: a great present for a baseball fan friend is the "Got Mud?" tee shirt sold on the Lena Blackburne Rubbing Mud website. The Boyfriend wrote a great mandolin song called Delaware River Mud on his cd of original mandolin tunes called Alaska Mando.)

Used to be that just one ball would be used during the game until it was too damaged to use. Like other sports, such as football and soccer, if the ball went up into the stands, the fans either threw it back or an employee went up into the stands to retrieve it. But a batter named Ray Chapman got beaned in the head during a twilight game and it was thought it was because he couldn’t see the ball. So the switch to clean white balls began.

There’s another reason as well. Balls need to be clean and new (Blackburne’s mud notwithstanding) because a scuff or a scratch or a tear can change the projectory of the ball and that gives the advantage to the pitcher. One baseball guide said, “A scuff, scratch or tear on the ball will affect its flight, creating greater aerodynamic drag on one side of the ball … the ball will curve toward the scuffed side of the ball.” Remember those stories about pitchers keeping sandpaper in their pockets? That’s a big no-no, and gets you kicked out of the game. So if balls are scuffed, or damaged in any way, you’ll see the catcher hand the ball to the umpire who may inspect it and take it out of play. But it’s not thrown away. Balls not used in for major league play are used for batting practice the next day, or in some cases may even get sent to the Minor Leagues. In the Minors, they use balls until they fall apart.

In the Major Leagues, on average about six dozen balls are used during a game, though during a hard hitting games or a game with a fast ball pitcher and lots of fouls, up 11 dozen balls might be used in a single game. You know who I’m talking about. Those great batters with good eyes who will run the count up to 3 balls, 2 strikes, then proceed to foul off the ball for another four or five swings. So if you are watching the game and you get one of those batters up, slip in your trivia. Some might be fouled off into the stands, some go out of the park on a home run, some are taken out of play due to scuffing or dirt. Or if you are a lucky fan, an outfielder or one of the Seattle Mariner ball girls will toss a catch up to you.

All the balls used in Major League baseball are made to exact specifications by one manufacturer. The balls used in play are made by Rawlings and all have been manufactured in Puerto Rico since 1990. Si, es verdad! And before 1974, horsehide was used in making baseballs, but I guess a shortage of available horses caused a switch to cowhide. Best cows for making baseballs? Yep, Midwestern Holstein cows because they have clean, smooth hides. That one goes out to all the Milwaukee Brewer fans back in my home state of Wisconsin. Eat some deep fried cheese curds in my honor, okay?

We All Go To Spring Training

2009-04-05T13:19:00.009-08:00

This week is Opening Day at a stadium near you. A new season of baseball begins. And I’m still a noodle.

I was sitting in the Cubs spring training ball park of HoHoKam Park in Mesa, Arizona just a few weeks ago on a March (yes, March!) day, 80 degrees and hot and seated three rows above the Cubs dugout. Chicago's Alfonso Sorriano was up at bat and hit a fierce foul ball in my direction. I impulsively ducked, and didn’t come up until I heard it hit the tin roof above the fans and watched it roll backwards into the parking lot.

I learned something about baseball as I was sitting on that glorious day in those glorious seats beginning my baseball season. Right handed batters are more likely to pop up foul balls more toward the area behind the first base side of the field, and lefties pop up more to the third base side. And there I was in foul territory without a cafeteria tray in sight. “Keep sharp,” the Boyfriend warned. “We are sitting in the danger zone.” I decided to depend on the rabidity of the Cubs fans surrounded me to beat me to the ball and looked around at my defenders.

No problem, I decided quickly. The three red headed little boys in the front row wearing Lee, Zambrano and Soriano Cubs jerseys had it covered, as well as the very large Hispanic man in a Chicago Bulls jersey sitting next to me, and the tan, trim sixties something man in front of me with his baseball glove in his lap. I just needed to get out of their way.

Hey girlfriend, baseball season is here again! This spring, by mere chance, I found myself in Arizona during late March, which means that I found myself in spring training heaven and seated next to the Boyfriend during a Cubs versus Mariners game. I was wearing Mariner fan colors, blue and white (and a deep shade of pink from the very hot Arizona sun after a long Alaskan winter. Even number 30 sunblock only delays the inevitable for folks like me who are the color of fish belly white after winter.) Spring training games don’t count toward final stats, so the sea of blue and red Cubs fans who surrounded me were tolerant of my cheering and spontaneous clapping after a Seattle double play which sent two Cubbies trotting back to the dugout.

But there it all was. All the things I love about a live game. The 11-year-old singing the Star Spangled Banner (look for her on American Idol, she had the “work the crowd moves” down pat), the invitation to the kids to run the bases after the games (“Just like the major leaguers do, kids!”) the crack of the bat, the bark of the beer vendors walking up and down the stadium aisles (icy beer really does taste better in hot sunshine), the Cubs tradition of throwing the opponents homerun ball (this one hit by Chris Woodward) back on to the field rather than keeping it. The Mariners lost the game, but it didn’t matter. We called Steve, the Hopeful and Hopeless Cubs Fan from the field and rubbed it in that we were there and he wasn’t, and all of it was in good fun.

Ah, but my little bag of salted peanuts, you are saying to yourself, “Mariners vs. Cubs? That doesn’t make sense! One is a National League team and the other is an American League. ” But during spring training it does. And I’m proud of you for noticing the difference.

Spring training for the baseball players starts in February and gives everyone a chance to get back in shape, audition for the teams and also gives the starved fans a chance to get a jump on the season by watching the exhibition games between teams who may not play regularly against each other in the regular season. Down in Arizona, teams such as the Mariners, Cubs, San Diego Padres, San Francisco Giants, Milwaukee Brewers, Cleveland Indians and Kansas City Royals have their spring training camps. It’s called The Cactus League, as opposed to The Grapefruit League which of course are all the teams that go to Florida, including those pesky Yankees and Red Sox.

Don’t think going to a spring training game was all fun and games, however. Baseball is serious business. The Boyfriend came back after an absence (kindly carrying two ice cold beers in hand) and asked, “What did I miss?” There is was. The test. I’m a fairly new convert to baseball so the words don’t yet come easily. I had to reach back to last season and remember the right terminology. I tried to say as casually as I knew how, “A line drive, stand up double by Derrick Lee. “

“Oh, “ he said and handed me my beer without giving me a double take as he settled back into his stadium seat. Inside, my inner peanut gallery let loose a cheer. I avoided the “stink eye”!

You see, when baseball returns, we all have to go to spring training. We all have to get back into the groove of a nine (or more) inning game, and pace ourselves with the nacho boats and the beverages, and remember what the lingo is, and once again, review the infield fly rule once again, just in case someone asks us. We have to get to know our teams again because they’ve been traded, injured, retired and banished since last October and the new guys are unfamiliar and unproven. We mourn the loss of favored players and sometimes have to get used to seeing them in new uniforms, and new positions and sometimes even new leagues.

This is a disconcerting time because maybe you grew to love your team last year, and now, well, they’ve changed. You don’t know who these fresh faced players are who look like they are ten years old and skinny as a whip. Can you ever feel that passionate about your team, ever again? Will baseball ever be as fun as it was last year? Well, sometimes yes, sometimes no. But remember, the more you know, the more you will enjoy it. So like the players do, start with the basics. Pick a team, get a copy of the roster before the games, learn the new names and faces, and get back into shape. Re-read some of the old entries of this blog if you have to in order to remember the difference between a change up and fast ball and what the box scores in the newspaper mean.

Because the truth is, March is spring training for the players, but April is spring training for the fans. And spring training starts somewhere in your neighborhood on Opening Day, April 6. You are welcomed to sit in my row and watch the game with me. But stay sharp! We are sitting in the danger zone.

Adieu, Mon Season, Adieu!

2008-10-30T06:48:00.010-08:00

Well, despite the rain, despite the mud, despite a two-day delay, Philadelphia won the 2008 World Series. The puppy dog pile was intense with outfielders, right on cue, jumping on top of infielders who had jumped on top of the hugging pitcher and catcher. The Tampa Bay Rays looked on, dejected and sad and dreading the long plane ride home. And The Boyfriend and I, having already said good bye to our favorite teams in the regular season (me) and the post season (him), had one last good-bye to the Crossroads Lounge in Anchorage, (where friends meet) where to the bar’s credit they had the World Series on every tv monitor in the joint. But now the season turns to basketball, and football, and hockey and Sunday morning football games with a steak and egg special between 9 and 2 p.m. (We are of course 4 hours behind Eastern Standard Time so Alaskans are used to watching football in their jammies and with mugs of coffee in hand.) We’ll be back in April.

In so many ways, I’m ready for the season to be over. I’ll take a break, and focus on Christmas, and then on to the Mardi Gras season (check out http://www.killerrubboard.com/! ) and enjoy the beauty that an Alaskan winter has to offer. There’s an old wise-cracking saying from a button I used to wear during my sassier days that proclaims, “How can I miss you if you don’t go away?” So we have to have time to detach and forget and build up hope and excitement and build up our fighting weight again so we are fierce competitors and not the sentimental marshmallow I always turn into this time of year.

A couple last thoughts from The Girlfriend at the end of this baseball season, random thoughts, like a ball breaking loose into a ground ball and darting into the part of the outfield that no fielder covers.

First of all, baseball caps with ear flaps. Who knew? This is the first year that I’ve seen ear flaps on baseball hats, and they featured prominently in the Tampa Bay lineup during the blowing rain and 39 degree temperature of Monday’s game. You know, Wisconsin, Minnesota and Alaska hunters have been wearing hunting caps with ear flaps for years , but the baseball cap version is truly styling. I predict they are here to stay. You know those commercials featuring Joe Torre in Los Angeles and touting some kind of financial planning (the red dot people)? He is featured surfing and doing yoga and driving in a convertible. I can feel his blood thinning out even as he speaks. If he ever returns to a team in the North, he’ll be looking like Joe Maddon did last night. I think the Alaska Glacier Pilots team have already put in an order with Tampa’s team for next season. Can we get them in camouflage?

Secondly, groundskeepers rock! I’ve always been impressed by the guys with the lawnmowers who made intricate designs such as checkerboards, and stripes, and the funky Boston Red Sox logo in the infield. They carefully cultivate those patterns through a rich fertilizing program and mowers with specialty blades that bend the grass this way and that. The new ballparks are modern day temples in many ways, and the groundkeepers are the unsung heroes of grass and lushness. But in this World Series, it became obvious that different fields demand different care. The Tampa Bay Rays play in Tropicana Field, a domed stadium, and their grass looked meager and adequate, but no Field of Dreams. Philadelphia, with that beautiful new ball park, has a gorgeous field and you could tell that the temple keepers were a fine skilled bunch. But Game Five on Monday night was a groundskeeper’s nightmare. With rain pounding down for most of the game, the baserunning paths turned to a creek of soupy mud. Despite the groundskeeper’s diligent dumping of sawdust, the special “Groundskeeper Secret Sauce for Rainy Days,” and the judicial unrolling of a tarp bigger than the Matanuska Susitna Borough which holds the distinguished city of Wasilla, The baserunning and stealing game looked like those advertisements for “Slip and Slides.” They couldn’t stop the rain, but they kept the game going until the sixth inning. Last, night, the field looked beautiful. Gardeners’ rule!

And lastly, I think about why I started writing this blog in the first place. My goal was to help Girlfriends of the world understand and appreciate this game called baseball. I remember back to when I didn’t know what I didn’t know and when I didn’t understand baseball enough to even recognize my mistakes and faux pas. Those of us who weren’t baseball fans as children all took our first step somewhere. Somewhere along the line, we have an experience that changes it for us. We end up spending lots of time sitting next to someone on a couch whose passion is baseball. Or we become friends with his baseball buddy who knows more about baseball than most people on the planet. Or we meet a friend of a friend who pitches for a softball team and rabidly defends her team even through heartbreak and gossip about Madonna. Or your sister moves to a new town and is suddenly wearing red tee shirts and spouting off the latest batting stats for David Ortiz. Something invites you into this club of people who love baseball. If you are willing to learn, you are amazed how complex, and involved, and statistical, and fanatic, and heartbreaking, and quirky, and truly wonderful this game is.

I had to remember all this last night in the bar when a young woman came up to us in the bar last night to say hi to The Boyfriend who she knew through the music scene. She stopped, introduced herself, and started chatting, making small talk and being very friendly. What she didn’t know is that above her head was a tv set showing that it was the top of the 9th with Tampa up to bat, down 4 to 3 with two outs and two strikes. And the Phillies posed to win the World Series with the next out. She didn’t have a clue what was happening at that moment. I (and The Boyfriend) were smiling and nodding, but with our ears and our peripheral vision were watching the end of the Series happening before our very eyes. She left before the final out (whew!) with a friendly goodbye.

I realize she was a girlfriend waiting to happen. If I see her again, I need to take her aside and introduce her gently to the art of baseball. I’ll loan her my DVD copy of Bull Durham and invite her to join us at the Crossroads Lounge next April, when the baseball season will begin again and the Seattle Mariners will commence on their march to their first appearance ever in the World Series. Now that, girlfriend, is what I’m talking about. There is always next year.

See you at the game!

--The Girlfriend

Bat Boys and Ball Girls

2008-10-23T20:18:00.007-08:00

During a Major League Baseball Game, the television coverage zeroes in on the players, the dugout, and the actual play of the game. But at every game, others help the game run and are an integral part of the game. You, too, can be a member of the team even if you can’t be in the World Series lineup.

I’m talking bat boys and ball girls.

Bat boys are the more traditional of the two. The bat boy is the kid (and sometimes an adult) who is the fetch-em-and-go-fer member of the team. They don’t get to just hang out in a uniform with a big BB on their backs. They work hard. Bat boys look after the equipment for the team. They get the uniforms lined out in the lockers and collect the laundry at the end of the day. They line out the bats and clean the shoes. And of course, during the game, they retrieved tossed bats and stray balls. If you are watching on tv, you often see them darting out between at bats scooping up balls, bats, and various detritus.

All bat boys in Major League Baseball have to be at least 14 years of age. This requirement came after a “hold your breath” episode when Dusty Baker’s, manager of the San Francisco Giants, 3-year-old-son (cute as the dickens in a mini-Giants uniform) almost got clobbered in Game 5 of the 2002 World Series when he went out to home plate to recover a bat. Unfortunately for the little guy, the play wasn’t over yet and a player was running toward home. Darren was scooped out of harm’s way before any collision occurred, but after that, the MLB instituted an age minimum.

Often the bat boy is a teenager or young adult, though a man named Stan Bronson served as "bat boy" for the University of Memphis for over 50 years. They are part of the team, so they also wear a uniform with the initials BB on the back. They work hard and get to the game way before everyone else, but what a cool job for someone who loves baseball! When the players show up for batting practice, sometimes it’s the ball boys who get to shag the flies in the outfield. They carry the balls out to the players and the pitchers. There aren’t a lot of bat girls in Major League Baseball because the position has to move easily in and out of the guys' locker room, and well, let’s just say that’s a little different than an adult female reporter doing interviews in the locker room. Often the bat boys are the ones who stand on the wrong side of the foul line to field foul balls, but more and more teams are using ball girls for that job.

And ball girls rock.

The primary responsibilities of the ball girls during the game are to chase down foul balls and throw them into the stand. Look for them sitting on their chairs tucked next to the walls. Ball girls retrieve fouls so that players don’t have to go chasing balls and they get the fun job of determining who gets to go home with a souvenir baseball. (Trust me, if you are a little kid holding out your baseball glove, you have a much better chance going home with that ball than if you are a drunk college guy waving your beer and shouting, “Hey, baby, I got your balls right here.”)

Seattle has been using ball girls at least since the Nineties. The Texas Rangers are in their second season of using ball girls. And to show the popularity of the program, in this past season, 600 girlfriends showed up in Philadelphia to audition for seventeen positions for the Phillies (Look for them in World Series play when play goes to Citizens Bank Park, ) All the women are long time softball and baseball players and athletes. To be a ball girl for a Major League Team, let’s face it, you usually have to be pretty and young. But just as importantly, you have to be able to think quickly, discern quickly whether the ball is fair or foul, you have to think quickly to get your chair out of the way of a fair ball, you have to be able to field balls hit by Major League Hitters and you have to be able to throw. And trust me, looking at the resumes of the Phillies ball girls, they aren’t slouches (for example, the team this year includes past Captain of Cherry Hill East softball team, a health and physical education teacher, a Division I track scholarship winner, a Penn Varsity Softball player, and a pitching instructor.) Trust me, if someone ever tells you, “You throw like a girl,” look ‘em straight in the eye and thank them for the compliment.

There was a video going around the internet about a ball girl in the minor leagues that is superb. It turned out to be a teaser video of a commercial for Powerade and is staged, but it is still fun to watch and shout, “You go, girl!”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4SqJz0NgnnE

Of course, sometimes in her eagerness, a ball girl misjudges and makes a mistake. A Seattle Mariners’ ball girl named Rosie Santizo gained national attention during a 1998 game against Toronto when she came off her stool and dived after a ball hit into the corner by the Blue Jays' Craig Grebeck. But the ball was fair and Grebeck was awarded a double. However, the Seattle crowd went crazy, cheering the ever enthusiastic Rosie who had worked with the Mariners since she was 16. She was the only ball girl to show up for work wearing wrist bands and baseball cleats. According to Larry Stone in an article about Rosie in the Seattle Times, after leaving the Mariners, she stayed with professional baseball and worked as a cultural trainer for Latin America baseball recruits, teaching English and cultural literacy to players for the Boston Red Sox and Baltimore Orioles organizations. She finished her degree at the University of Washington in international business and Islamic studies. and worked for the Seattle Mariners to teach English to such players as Cuban born Yuniesky Betancourt.

Rosie had a big dream for a ball girl—she wanted to be a general manager of a Major League Baseball team. She was working toward this goal by working in Israel with the emerging Israeli Baseball League. Who even knew there was an emerging Israeli Baseball League? Unfortunately, that dream was cut short when she was killed in a car accident in Jordan in September of this year at the age of 29. The Seattle Mariners held a moment of silence before a game in September in her honor. Rosie was a girlfriend to be proud of.

You go, ball girl.

To The Victor Goes...

2008-10-20T07:03:00.005-08:00

If you have been watching the playoffs, specifically the game last night that sends Tampa Bay to the World Series for the very first time, you have experienced the phenomena that I call the "puppy dog pile.” That is the exciting moment at the end of the game when the shortstop throws the ball to get the runner out at second and ends the game in the bottom of the ninth inning. Mayhem ensues and the pitcher throws his arms up in victory. The catcher throws off his bulky helmet and runs at the pitcher, jumping up and wrapping his legs around him in a huge bear hug and suddenly all the other players on the field jump on top of them until there is a teeming mass of legs and heads and hands pounding on each other. Here come the outfielders. It takes them longer to get to the action so they are the last ones there. They jumped on top of the pile until it is a churning lump of humanity, reminiscent of the “monkey piles” we formed in fourth grade.

Unbridled joy and celebration. This, girlfriend, is the prerogative of the victorious. The losers need not apply.

Tampa Bay beat the Red Sox 3 to 1 last night and won the series 4-3. It was a fun series one with some exciting twists, but this young team looked good and solid after a good and solid season and I wish them well in the Series. You’ll find, girlfriend, that when you know a little bit more about any game, you can appreciate it more when the team you and your couch buddy are rooting for loser in a well fought, well played game.

I know. I once told you that baseball will break your heart. And it does, almost every season. It’s no fun to lose. I’ve had the advantage of rooting for several teams this season—the Mariners (St. Rita, patron saint of lost causes, pray for us), the Milwaukee Brewers in the playoffs, and now in this past week, the Red Sox against Tampa Bay. So I found a way to extend the excitement of the baseball season. But last night I had to experience the same thing that my friends who are Yankee fans and are Cubs fans have already experienced. It’s time to close down your season of fan-dom. I know we still have the Series and great baseball ahead. But I’ll be watching it differently. More detached, more open to both teams, less enmeshed.

It’s a sad fact of being a fan that sometimes, it is just better when your team doesn’t make the playoffs or gets eliminated. Then you can return to being a normal human being again. You can sleep better. Maybe you can fold laundry or pay bills or do some other “multi-tasking” thing as you watch. Maybe you can skip a game or two and not be so obsessive about checking the internet. You aren’t sneaking peaks at the computer generated game update on mlb.com and emailing The Boyfriend about the progress of your team. It almost is a relief to finally say, “enough.”

And then you look at the faces of the fans in St. Petersburg and Tampa Bay. You see this incredible joy and victory of the folks wearing Bartlett and Longoria jerseys and jumping up and down and pointing “We’re Number 1!” fingers in the air. You watch the puppy dog pile and note that the players in Tampa are all really young, so they jump higher and with more abandon than a David Ortiz or a Jason Varitek might. You watch the dozens and dozens of champagne bottles get shook and sprayed in the air and over the heads of players and misting the lens of the cameras in the locker room. Then you watch the camera pan to the Red Sox dugout where the disappointment is quiet and deep and palpable. You know that somewhere, someone is destroying all those boxes of pre-printed tee-shirts and caps that proclaimed the Red Sox as the American League champions. And you wish that it was you who were celebrating.

We still have the Series ahead, so baseball isn’t dead yet. But I’ll also be starting to look forward to next year’s season. And that, dear girlfriend, is as American as baseball, apple pie and Mom.

It Ain’t Over ‘Til It’s Over

2008-10-17T08:28:00.004-08:00

Girlfriend, I hope that some day you have the experience of waking up in the morning and immediately thinking, “Where’s the sports page?”

That’s what happened to me on this morning. Last night, the Boston Red Sox were obviously on their way to being eliminated by a young, vigorous and well playing Tampa Rays team. It was 7 to 0 in the seventh inning, for heaven’s sake, and even The Boyfriend turned off the television in disgust. (It is sometimes better for your health if your team doesn’t make it into the playoffs. You can just relax and enjoy the games in a detached, appreciative manner instead of being bi-polar for an additional three weeks.)

Anyway, he left the game and I was out with a friend and came home about the time he checked the internet for “the final score”. There was a shout and a yell, “It’s 7-6, we gotta watch the game.” We stampeded to the couch.

And the Red Sox did it. They came from 7 runs behind and in the last three innings, scored 8 runs and earned another chance, another sweaty-heart-pounding-bipolar-episode for the fans. Coco Crisp tied it up with a 10-pitch at bat resulting in one run RBI and JD Drew hit an RBI walk off single to win the game in the bottom of the ninth. Then it was just a bunch of joyous-silly-jumping-up-and-down-puppy-like boys on the field, thrilled that they pulled off the impossible. They haven’t won the series and they are still behind two games, but one of the best parts of baseball is when the team you are rooting for pulls it off even though they should have lost.

Sports fans of all kinds know this feeling. This is not particular to baseball. But what does seem to be unique is the rapidity of how things can change. In soccer, players score one goal at a time. But in baseball, a player’s at bat can jump the score anywhere between one run to four runs in a single bat, So even when the game plods for several innings, things can change quickly. It ain’t easy. There wasn’t a Red Sox fan in Fenway at the beginning of the seventh inning that thought his or her team was going to win last night. A bunch of them headed home because it was late and they wanted to beat traffic. But suddenly there was a wave of good hitting and missed fielding that resulted in the crowd being back in the game again. And despite a gloomy first six innings, heck, here came the Red Sox coming from behind for the largest playoff comeback since 1929 (where the Phillies over came an 8-0 deficit against the Cubs.). This is what you pray for when you watch your team but never believe it will happen. Last night, it happened.

That’s what is so great about baseball. It really ain’t over ‘til it’s over. And it still ain’t over. Boston and Tampa meet again on Saturday and Tampa leads the series 3-2. But it still reminds me that baseball is a great game, filled with uneventful innings and soaring moments. And you reach for the sports page in the morning to relieve the impossibility and to understand what you really saw.

Who's On First?

2008-10-12T08:00:00.006-08:00

You may have never seen this famous baseball skit or you may have memorized the entire thing, but it still is one of the best comedy sketches about baseball that ever was written. If you want to know baseball, you have to be familar with the "Who's on First?" sketch by Abbott and Costello. I've included the video here for you viewing pleasure and a link to the script just for fun. It has definitely has withstood the test of time!

Here's a link to The Video: "Who's On First?"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sShMA85pv8M

Here's a link to The Script: "Who's On First?"
http://www.baseball-almanac.com/humor4.shtml

Songs of the Season

2008-10-02T09:17:00.003-08:00

For me, one of the delights of the post season games (especially in the World Series) is hearing the Star Spangled Banner played at the beginning of the game. It’s not a secret that one of my biggest desires and most impossible dreams is to sing the Star Spangled Banner before a baseball game. That probably won’t happen in my lifetime, but I always enjoy hearing other folks take it on as part of the baseball season. There’s been a trend in the last twenty years to spice it up a bit and put a pop feel to it. Some people hate that trend. They feel it is disrepectful. (For example, look up "disrepectful" in the baseball dictionary and you’ll find a picture of Roseanne Barr singing the Star Spangled Banner back in 1990. God awful!) But I like the trend. It inspires me.

I’ve been thinking about the songs of baseball games. Some teams, like the Red Sox, have their own song tradition (Neil Diamond's Sweet Caroline before the bottom of the eighth inning) but almost all teams share the tradition of three songs played during the game.

Take Me Out to the Ball Game

Take Me Out to the Ball Game was written in 1908 and is the unofficial anthem of baseball. The words were written in 1908 by Jack Norworth (who also wrote Shine On Harvest Moon) who while riding a subway train, was inspired by a sign that said "Baseball Today — Polo Grounds". The song is traditionally sung during the seventh-inning stretch of a baseball game and tradition has it that fans sing along. What’s fun about this song is that it was originally written for a woman to sing as part of a duet. Baseball in the early century was seen more as a male pasttime, and this song is from the perspective of a woman who wants her date to take her to a baseball game instead of a theater show. See, even early on, girlfriends dug baseball!

Chicago’s Wrigley Field has taken this song a step further and currently invite a guest conductor to lead the crowd. This happens elsewhere, too. I saw Marian Ross (Mrs Cunningham from the Happy Days series) leading the crowd in Kansas City when they played against the Mariners in September. It is said “Take Me Out to the Ball Game” is the third most-often-played song in the United States, after "The Star-Spangled Banner" and "Happy Birthday to You".

There are verses to it as well but nobody ever sings them at a baseball game. However, in Ken Burns documentary series on baseball, Carly Simon sings the verses and pops it up a bit. (Nothing says "old-time" baseball like a tenor banjo!) Here’s a link to that version and a version with versus by the Andrew Sisters and Dan Dailey:

http://skyking162.com/2006/05/take-me-out-to-the-ball-game-mp3/

The fame of the song needs to be laid at the feet of Bill Veeck and Harry Caray of Chicago Fame. Hall of Fame sportscaster Harry Caray, was well known for leading the crowd in a singing of Take Me Out to the Ball Game by leaning out the window of his broadcasting booth and leading the crowd in the song. He started the tradition with the Chicago White Sox, but when he moved over to Wrigley Field, it really becames a Cubs tradition.

When Caray missed a number of games due to a stroke later in his career , "guest conductors" (including once a very drunk Bill Murray) did the honors and continued to be a tradition after Caray's death. If a game goes to the 14th inning at Wrigley Field, they will sing the song again.

Coincidentally, the year the song was written (1908) is the last year the Cubs won the World Series. A good omen?

To read even more about his song, go to this article from the Baseball Hall of Fame.

http://web.baseballhalloffame.org/news/article.jsp?ymd=20080505&content_id=7228&vkey=hof_news

God Bless America

God Bless America was written by Irving Berlin in 1918 and revised in 1938 to be sung and made famous by Kate Smith. When you think of Kate Smith, you think of God Bless America (On the other hand, how often do yo think of Kate Smith?) Woody Guthrie wrote his song This Land Is Your Land in response.

It started out being played before the home games of the Philadelphia Flyers Hockey Team but started becoming part of baseball after the 9/11 Attacks against New York and the World Trade Towers. It replaced Take Me out to the Ball Game during the 7th inning Stretch in many ball parks for a while. Yankee Stadium is the only Major League ballpark to continue to play "God Bless America" in every game during the seventh-inning stretch. Tenor Ronan Tynan is a favorite at Yankee Stadium and usually tapped to sing it during all the including all playoff games. Well, not this year.

http://www.geocities.com/god_bless_america_lyrics/

The Star Spangled Banner

The Star-Spangled Banner is, of course, our national anthem. The lyrics come from a poem written in 1814 by Francis Scott Key who wrote "Defence of Fort McHenry" after seeing the bombardment of Fort McHenry during the War of 1812. The poem was set to the tune of a popular British drinking song and eventually became our National Anthem in 1931 during prohibition under Herbert Hoover. (A bit of irony, isn’t it?) With a range of one-and-a-half octaves, it is a bear for most people to sing and everyone muffs up the words (which I think is a perfect kind of national anthem the noisy, messy democracy we are.) We usually only sing one verse because that’s hard enough to remember itself.

According to Wikipedia, the playing of the song during the seventh-inning stretch of the 1918 World Series is often noted as the first instance that the anthem was played at a baseball game, but evidence shows that the "Star-Spangled Banner" was performed as early as 1897 at opening day ceremonies in Philadelphia and then more regularly at the Polo Grounds in New York City beginning in 1898. However, the tradition of performing the national anthem before every baseball game began in World War II.

The Star Spangled Banner used to be a pretty dry affair, usually with a high school chorus or an operatic singer or more likely a recording during which everyone took off their baseball caps and mumbled along. But things started charging up in 1968 when guitarist Jose Feliciano played it slow and bluesy before a crowd before Game Five of the 1968 World Series between Detroit and St. Louis. It was controversial at the time to sing an “interpretation” , but now, all bets are off. There are now countless different versions, interpretations and styles of the song. In fact, it has become a challenge to make your own unique interpretation. I believe that Aretha Franklin is the queen in this area (you go, girlfriend!) but most fans have their favorites. I’d love to hear a Zydeco version someday with a sassy accordion and banging rubboard. Maybe when I get to sing it, I’ll get Rosie Ledet and the Zydeco Playboys to back me up.

I know it’s impossible to sing for most people. I know some of the renditions of the song out there are truly horrible. I know that even professionals mess up the words. But there is something about those opening notes that’s just scream “play ball.”

I wish I had a recording to share you from the Queen of Soul from a baseball game. But I did find this great version from the 1996 Democratic Convention. Enjoy! And, Play Ball!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jhyxr6gP3eo&feature=related

The Changing of the Seasons

2008-09-29T07:01:00.002-08:00

There is crispness in the air, and here in Alaska, we are already looking at reports of frost, snow creeping down the mountains, and autumn colors that are past their peak and laying on the ground. The regular baseball season has come to an end. Post season is a separate season of its own, it seems. It seems many people wait out the baseball season to let the teams sort themselves out and watch with more interest and intensity during the post season. It’s the best of the best baseball and of course, culminates in the World Series. So it’s a shot in the arm at a time you are mourning the passing of another baseball season.

But what a season it has been! This year, my cable company promoted the fact that they were going to be showing every Mariners game on Channel 36 which is the Northwest Sports Channel. I looked forward to really getting to know the team and watching a lot of baseball. The Mariners were favored to win the Western AL Division at the beginning of the season and I was having flashbacks to the great Mariner teams of the early decade with Bret Boone and Jay Buhner and Mike Cameron and Jamie Moyer and of course, Edgar Martinez. Yikes! The Mariners ended this season with the worst record in both leagues. They lost over a 100 games in a 162 game series. What happened, boys? Every once in awhile the team shows a flash of great ball, with Adrian Beltre third base saves and Raul Ibanez hitting and Ichiro has still got it for his funky hit and run fast lead off hits, but overall, something went terribly wrong.

And whoever saw the Devil Rays (now the Tampa Rays) coming? This team has never had a winning season since their beginning and they ended up winning the toughest Division in the American League, beating out both the mighty Yankees and the Red Sox. And the Yankees not in the post season? And Joe Torre in the post season, but this time with Los Angeles? Along with Manny Ramirez? Who would have guessed? What a season this has been.!

So after 162 games, maybe it’s time to let this season go. Now it’s time to focus on the post season.

I’m going back to the Midwest to visit family and my mom and nieces and nephews in early October, so I’m looking forward to spending time with family. But I have to say my timing is lousy. I’m going back to Green Bay Packer country during a week where the Atlanta Falcons are playing in Green Bay. That doesn’t mean anything to anyone living anywhere else, but in Northeastern Wisconsin, it means that traffic stops, people make up a tray of cocktail wieners and stay home huddled in front of the television. My mom starts watching all the sports talk shows the week before. (Well, really she has them on in the background and won’t let you change the channel.)

My problem is, it is also Baseball Weekend. There are going to be eight games I could be watching. But there is a Packer game on the television. I face the gruesome specter of wrestling my mother for the television remote. And she’s pretty feisty so I wouldn’t be betting on whose going to win.

I did get her to agree to go see a game with me during the weekend. It was touch and go for a while but the Milwaukee Brewers beat the Chicago Cubs on Sunday and the New York Mets lost their last game, so the Brew Crew is going to be in the Post Season for the first time since 1982. My mom has a good adventurous spirit, so she’s agreed to come with me. We’ll find a good sports bar, order up a couple Miller Genuine Drafts, and a basket of deep fried cheese curds, invite the brothers and cheer for the Brewers (maybe I could also convince her to watch the Red Sox game? I better get Sister Turned Red Sox Fanatic to call during cocktail hour!)

Despite being a MOFF, my mom is totally up for it. I was thrilled when she said almost apologetically over the phone, “I really don’t know much about baseball. I hope I don’t say anything stupid.”

No worries, girlfriend., You are watching baseball with the right person.

Sliding, Stealing and Bruising

2008-09-24T13:00:00.005-08:00

There’s a great Gatorade commercial featuring movie gangster actor Harvey Keitel and Derek Jeter of the New York Yankees. Keitel is standing behind Derek Jeter at first base during a game whispering in his ear to steal second. “Go ahead and take it.” He nods at the pitcher, “That one keeps looking over here,” and then nodding at the catcher, “and that one has a gun. But you got to do what you got to do.” Jeter takes off like a rocket and slides head first into second and conquers the base. Keitel nods his head approvingly, “Ah, stealing. It’s a beautiful thing.”

I’m not sure how that sells Gatorade but it drives home the point that if a batter get on base, a whole ‘nother kind of game starts. What are you supposed to do then? RUN FORREST RUN! Let’s talk about baserunning. Which also means talking about stealing. And sliding.

One of saddest stats in baseball is LOB. That stands for Left On Base. Left on base is potential that didn’t go any place. A batter who gets on base, but dies there with the third out. Like those talented kids in high school you think are going to go far, but end up with a drug habit, drop out of college and now work at the Holiday Gas Station.

Baseball is made up of individual accomplishments but it is solidly a team sport. If the pitcher can’t get that ball across the plate without it being hit, then he hopes a fielder will get the out. If a runner gets to first, he hopes that the next batter can get him home or at least into scoring position. Second and Third bases are scoring positions, because if a batter gets a hit, a runner can usually make it home from those bases or a sacrifice fly will help the runner advance and bring him closer to home. Either way, you ain’t going nowhere unless the guy behind you does his stuff.

Generally, a player gets on base by hitting a fair ball, being walked ( four balls from the pitcher), or by being hit by a pitch. After that, his goal is to touch all the bases and get home for the run. The defensive team is not going to make that easy. Baserunners can attempt to run anytime the ball is live or as the pitcher is throwing a pitch. You’ve seen how they stand out a couple feet between themselves and first base? That’s called leading off. That gives them a little extra juice to get to second base. Pitchers get all snarky about that because sometimes that lead off turns into a steal. But when he is leading off, the runner is also off the base. And if he can be touched with the ball when off the base, he’s out. So the pitcher tries a pick off attempt. That means he throws the ball back to first unexpectedly in order for the first baseman to tag the runner before he gets back to base. So sweeeeet when it happens! But it rarely happens. Really the pitcher is just trying to hold the runner a little closer to base to lessen his chances of making it to scoring position. If he is tagged out trying to get back to first, it is called a pickoff. If the runner takes off and tries for second as the pitcher throws, the catcher will throw to second in hopes that the second baseman will be able to tag him before he reaches second. If he is out, it is scored caught stealing. If he makes it, it is scored a stolen base.

If the game is at a point where it doesn’t really matter if the runner takes second, sometimes the defense won’t even try to get him out. Big deal, they seem to say as they shrug their collective shoulders. So you’ve been talking to Harvey Keitel. Then it is called defensive indifference. You don’t get to count that as a stolen base in your stats, because the other team didn’t even try. Defensive Indifference—describes a couple of encounters I’ve had recently…..

Stealing describes when a baserunner advances to another base while the pitcher is pitching the ball. Now a pitcher can’t fake a pitch to get the runner to take off then throw it to first, like a sneak pass in football. That’s called a balk and that’s not acceptable. But up until a certain point in his delivery of a pitch, the pitcher can throw it to a base. So pitchers are watching runners (and so are third base coaches and catchers and signaling to the pitcher) and baserunners and the third base coach are watching pitchers (is he lifting his right heel or his left heel? Is he a right handed pitcher or a left handed pitcher?)

Not every runner is a stealing candidate. David Ortiz, bless his heart and his big booming bat, is not the best base stealer because he is, ummm, well how you say, big boned and slow. Now Coco Crisp and Jacoby Ellsbury of the Red Sox are known base stealers because they are little fast and hungry. That’s the combo you want to be looking for.

Because second base is the farthest from the catcher, it is the base that is most often stolen. Third base isn’t so easy, because it is closer to the catcher. There’s some old baseball wisdom that says you should never make the third out stealing third base. You better have sure thing if you are stealing third, because if you are on second in scoring position, it is better to give the batter up an opportunity to score.

When the count is full and there are two outs, runners with someone on the base behind them will always take off running as if they were stealing on the pitch. If the ball is hit foul, they get to go back to their base. If the ball is a strike, they have to head to the dugout anyway. And it the ball is hit, they should try to get as big a leap as they possibly can. You may hear this called as “runners go”.

And when a runner gets to the base they want, what do they do? Slide, baby, slide! Well, unless there is no reason to. Most players run standing up into first because you can overrun first and still be safe as long as you touched the base before the first baseman did. But it ain’t necessarily so on second or third base. If you run past it, the baseman can still tag you out. So you slide, feet or hands extended, using momentum to throw your body forward. Of course, once you touch home, you score. But you first got to get past that big catcher blocking the plate

Advantages of sliding? First, you have a better chance of staying near and on the base. Second, you are a more difficult target close to the ground. You have a better chance of getting a body part on the base before Mr. Baseman is able to lean down and tag you. Thirdly, if it looks like you are going to be out, you can throw yourself in a way that makes it harder for Mr. Baseman to stay upright long enough to throw to another base to get your buddy behind you out. It is said that during the 20’s Ty Cobb used to sharpen his baseball cleats in view of the opposing team in case anyone had any bright ideas of blocking his way. He has seasons where he stole nearly 100 bases.

When you steal, it is advised you throw your feet first, because let’s face it, people get hurt. Fingers gets pulled back, necks get snapped and noses get broken when a face collides with a base. Check out the runners at first. Often you will see the runners hold their batting gloves in their hands. That is a reminder to them to keep their hands closed when they are running and protecting those thousand dollar fingers. Sometimes you’ll see people dive instead of slide, but you can imagine that they get a friendly memo from the owner after the game.

I've seen The Boyfriend on several occasions dive head first into second during a friendly game of pick up softball, paralleling the ground with a look of hunger in his eye. In one of those games he had a container of Carmex lip balm in his pocket, and by the end of the night he had a circular black bruise kissing his hip bone. Sliding is not for the weak of heart (or for anyone with stuff in his jeans pocket).

Understanding the Infield Fly Rule

2008-09-19T08:15:00.008-08:00

When I first started dating The Boyfriend, I started hearing about Baseball Weekend. Baseball Weekend was usually held the first weekend in October at the beginning of the post-season playoffs when you could conceivably watch two games on Friday night, four games on Saturday and another two on Sunday. Baseball fans only need apply and the entrance exam into the weekend was that you needed to be able to define the infield fly rule.

Say what?

You had to be able to understand one of those odd rules in baseball that don’t seem to make much sense but demonstrates that you have a good enough grasp of the subtleties of the games that you wouldn’t be asking dumb questions during the game.

Well, I flubbed my way through that first Baseball Weekend. The Boyfriend coached me, but to be honest, the Infield Fly Rule made no sense to me. I have gone on to enjoy many more Baseball Weekends, but “understanding the infield fly rule” has become a code word for the complexities of baseball. Or knowing the secret password to join the club.

Defensive baseball refers to when your team is not up to bat but is trying to prevent the other team from scoring. The infield takes care of the ball when the ball comes into the infield and the outfield takes care of the ball when it goes into the outfield. The Infield Fly Rule prevents the manipulation of the baseball rules (yes, like accountants, baseball players sometimes take advantage of loopholes).

So here it is: If, with runners on first and second base or with the bases loaded, a high fly ball is hit in or around the infield and it looks like it can easily caught be by an infielder, the umpire will call the batter out before the ball is actually caught. That seems like it favors the defense. I mean what if the guy doesn’t catch it or drops it?

Exactly.

The Infield Fly Rule actually to protects the offense from the old “ooops, look, I dropped it. Now I can pick it up and throw it to third and then to either first or second and get the double play” or the more outright “let it drop to the ground, pick up the live ball and throw it to third base." So let’s go through that again. If the infielder catches the ball and drops it (or lets it fall to the ground before picking it up) the ball is still live and the batter has to run to first, which forces players on first and second to run to the next base. So an infielder can easily throw the ball to third and get that runner out, and still have time to throw to either second or first to get a double play. Why wouldn’t you do that? It is an easy two outs.

So the infield fly rule says that if you should be able to easily catch a fair ball in the infield, the base umpire calls it an “infield fly if fair” while it is still in the air, pointing his right arm to the sky. Of course, if it flies “foul” or outside of the foul lines but is still in the park, and a player catches it, it is an out. The infield fly rule really is to the benefit of the offense, because it means just one out is charged to the offensive team instead of the possible two.

The infield fly rule can only be applied when there are runners on first and second bases or the bases loaded, there are less than two outs, and a high fly ball is hit (not a bunt or line drive) that can be caught by an infielder with reasonable effort.

Got it? If there are runners on first and second or all, an infield pop-up with less than two outs is an automatic out.

Cool! See you at Baseball Weekend, girlfriend! Bring that really good seven layer dip recipe you make.

Playing in the Outfield

2008-09-16T17:37:00.005-08:00

We’ve been hanging out around home plate and on the pitcher’s mound, but I think it is time, girlfriend, to take a little field trip. Let’s look at what is happening out in the outfield. It always seemed like the easiest place to play when compared to the catcher (crouching down for the whole game) or the pitcher (pitching every inning). Outfielders can actually go innings without having to catch a ball or throw toward base. All in all, it seems like a kick-back, enjoy the grass position, and maybe excuse yourself to use the bathrooms on the outside wall, like Manny Ramirez did back when he was playing left field for the Red Sox.

But, my little carousel cooked hot dog, looks are deceiving. Like many things in baseball, what looks to be a non-happening part of the game actually has a lot going on.

There are three outfield positions—right, center and left. The outfield is that area between the running track and the back wall. There’s a lot of grass to cover. Outfielders are often 250 to 300 feet from homeplate, and they have to be ready to cover large distances and be able to throw long distances with deadly accuracy. Outfielders also have to have good instincts. Batters are not trying to hit the ball to the outfielder. They are trying to hit the ball between or beyond the outfielders because they want to make it to base. So outfielders need to go where the ball is. To be a good fielder, players need to be able to judge where the ball is going to go based on the pitch and the batter’s tendencies; need to be able to catch over their head running toward the fence; able to run up on the ball; ability to see the ball falling out of the sky; and ability to fly through the air with one of those spine chilling flights parallel to the ground with glove extended. They also need to be able to jump up high against the back wall and pluck that baby out of the air to rob the batter of a glorious hit. Right Fielder Ichiro Suzuki is famous for climbing the back wall like Spiderman in order to prevent a ball from leaving the park.

Now different people have different opinions about fielders. (Really, in baseball? People have strong opinions?) Some people feel the right fielder needs the strongest arm because he is the farthest from third base, while some people feel the center fielder needs the strongest arm because he tends to field more balls. The left fielder often has the weakest arm of the three, but he still needs some chops. Remember that for the most part (American League pitchers and designated hitters excepted) baseball players play both offense (batting) and defense (pitching, catching and fielding). Being a great hitter is not enough. You have to do both.

The center fielder needs the best combination of speed and throwing distance. Because he covers the most territory, he catches a high percentage of the fly balls. The center fielder also has a role in coordinating the outfield when there is some question about who is going to catch the ball. (This is to avoid those head cracking collisions we talked about in Blood and Guts. )

But the outfield does more than just wait in their own special corner of the world to catch fly balls. Outfielders cover the area back of the bases when plays are in the infield. For example, the center fielder backs up second base in situations such as when a runner tries to steal second base, and the catcher throws to second. The center fielder moves forward to back up the second baseman in case he misses the catch or there is a bad throw.

The right fielders back up first base (including bunts) for balls hit to the right side or for throws from the catcher. The right fielder also backs up second base for balls hit to the left side of the field. Right fielders need a good eye because a ball hit to right field has a tendency to curve toward the foul line and right fielders have to adjust.

The left field backs up third base for throws from the catcher or pitcher. I recently saw a great move by Jason Bay, the player who replaced Manny Ramirez in the left field for the Boston Red Sox. Mike Lowe missed a poorly thrown ball to third and out of nowhere comes Bay on the crowd side of the foul line to field the ball and prevent any additional bases. Even the announcers were impressed and joked that Manny would have never done that. Manny, being Manny, didn’t move for no one. Though in Manny’s defense, he did pull off a great catch of a ball back in May before it went into the stand, ran up the back wall, high-fived a fan and got the ball back in time to Dustin Pedroia to get a double play. Manny definitely had entertainment value. Here is a link to that video if you haven’t seen it.

http://soxanddawgs.com/?p=4240

Some of the different ball fields present a challenge to fielders as well. The infamous left field wall at Fenway was built because the ballpark didn’t have enough room for a traditional left field, so Fenway built it higher than normal. The “Green Monster” is a bear for fielders when the ball bounces off that back. Other outfields as well have crooks, nannies and some nasty little corners. Infields are standard throughout the leagues, but there are slight variations in ball parks when it comes to the outfields. So in Cleveland, both the back right and left field walls measure 325 feet and 410 feet at center field. But in funky Fenway Park, the left field wall is 310 (but that’s where the Green Monster is) and the right field foul pole is 302 feet out, but center field is a mighty 420 at its farthest distance from home plate. Fielders must adjust to the different parks, and they hate it when a fair ball goes into the corner. If a ball bounces fair on the field but then bounces out of the park, it is an automatic double.

The outfield may not always be the most exciting place in the world, but there’s no sleeping out in the outfield. Your glory catch --the one where you throw yourself like a rocket through the air four feet above the ground, grab for the ball, belly flop on the ground then somersault three times, then flip to your feet with the ball snow-coned in your glove raised to the crowd in victory with the television announcer shouting, “I don’t believe it!” as the station replays the catch over and over again—is just around the corner. I think outfielders must live for that day. And then they live for first dibs in the hot-tub back at the clubhouse.

Tics and Gods and Rituals

2008-09-11T12:37:00.005-08:00

I often thought if a psychologist watched a baseball game with a professional eye, that he or she could make a number of mental health diagnoses. For example, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (for the rituals right before batting), Paranoid Schizophrenia (for the pitcher who throws a little chin music to “discourage” the batter from crowding the plate.) Bipolar Disorder (for the crowd who swings from euphoria in the first inning to bone weary depression in the last inning if they lose.) Tourette’s Syndrome (for the physical tics of the like of Jonathon Papelbom and the explosive swearing to oneself that happens as someone is caught looking on the third strike), Repetitive Self Stimulating Behavior (such as the kind we used to see with Don Zimmer’s rocking back and forth on the bench with Joe Torre and the Yankees) and Oppositional Defiant Disorder (for the manager who gets into the face of the umpire even though it was obvious that his runner was clearly tagged out at second and clearly the ump is not going to change the call.)

But then I thought the doc would probably get caught up in the excitement of the game, start rooting for the home team, start marking a score card instead of a prescription pad, and write off all the quirks, obsessions, ticks, rituals, and superstition as “oh well, that’s just part of the game.”

And you know, it is part of the game. Baseball, with all of its speed guns, computerized statistics, modern stadiums, sophisticated training, and now, instant replay, is home to more superstitions, rituals and prayers to the many different gods who watch over us than any other event, except maybe the upcoming presidential race.

There are some general superstitions that apply to everyone in baseball, such as not stepping on the foul lines when leaving or entering the field. Watch, you’ll see players jumping over the line. Even when the manager heads out to the mound to relieve a pitcher from his duties, he won’t step on the line. There is the widely held superstition that if a pitcher is pitching no-hitter, you don’t mention it for fear of jinxing it. I practiced this one myself when Brandon Morrow of the Mariners pitched 7 1/3 innings of no hits last week against the Yankees. You can bet there were many fans with Bronx accents shouting it from the nosebleed section for exactly the same reason, but for a nefarious purpose.

Most of the really interesting superstitions and rituals though happen on an individual basis. Power hitter David Ortiz of the Boston Red Sox participates in the same ritual of going through a regular routine of prepping himself for the bat which includes a predictable slapping together of this batting gloves twice before getting ready to bat. Ichiro Suzuki of the Mariners has a very distinctive, almost tai chi kind of ritual where he squats down as if loosening his hamstrings before he gets to an at bat. Then at bat he circles his bat over his head a couple times then lines it up somewhere with the back wall and pulls up his sleeve. He holds that position until the pitcher gets into his stance, then positions himself to bat Nomar Garciapparra is the king of ticks and rituals and used to take 20 seconds to do all his touching and pointing of toes and checking of gloves.

Keep in mind, this is not just before an at-bat. This is every time right before ball is pitched. Since there is no time clock in baseball, each player has the time to go through his ritual unless he is unduly delaying the game. Those of you who are MOFFs (More of a Football Fan), when was the last time you saw a football quarterback take off his helmet, turn it around three times and place it back on his head and then slap the butt of the center snapping the ball each time before calling a play?

What does it all mean, doc? Do you think this is healthy? Where did he go? The fan next to the empty seat informs me he went to get a nacho boat and a Miller Genuine Draft from the Full Count Snack Bar. He said to fill in his scorecard as needed so he wouldn’t miss anything.

Baseball is a team sport. Baseball is a modern sport. Baseball depends on percentages, speed, science. But every time a batter presents him or her self at the plate, whether it be Major League, city league softball, or Little League, it is the batter alone that has to make something happen. Every time the pitcher set into pitching positions, it is basically just him or her to deliver that ball the way the catcher called it. And sometimes the magic works, and sometimes it seems to have left the building. So players look for any edge they can get. If you had a really, really good game wearing a certain tee shirt under your baseball jersey, then you try to recreate the luck by wearing it again even if it is ripped, torn or smelly from the last really good game.

Wade Boggs, third baseman for the Boston Red Sox in the Eighties and Nineties, was well known (and teased) about his superstition of eating chicken before every game. His wife had over 200 recipes for the stuff. Movies make fun of the superstitious nature of baseball players all the time. In the movie Major League, one of the players had a full blown voodoo temple in his locker to JABU. In Bull Durham, pitcher Nuke Laroosh wore black garters under his uniform during a winning streak and the first baseman blessed his bat with chicken bones.

Many religious players, especially the Catholic players from Hispanic Countries, make the Sign of the Cross before a bat or a prayer of thanks after a great play or a run or kiss their medal of Our Mother of Guadalupe or St, Rita of Cascia. St. Rita has been fairly recently dubbed the patron saint of baseball players, but she is originally the patron saint of the abused and of hopeless causes. (If that doesn’t describe the Mariners season this year…St Rita pray for us in 2009...)

Don’t scoff at the players though for being silly. You know you the fan are doing it, too. Whether you are watching a league softball game or a Major League Baseball Game. Look around you and you can see dozens or even hundreds of people with their hands clasped, praying that that pitch will scream right down the center of the plate and the batter from the enemy team will swing powerlessly over the top of it. Or during that 4-1 game that your team is losing in the bottom of the ninth, if bases are loaded, and the bottom of the order comes up to bat, you really think that if you pray hard enough and send enough good vibes to the batter, the skinny guy with a .190 batting average is going to hit a grand slam and win the game in rapture filled triumph.

What about John Adams, the Cleveland Indians fan who brings a drum to every home game and beats it continuously throughout the game just like he has done for two decades? I bet he really thinks that if he doesn’t come, the Indians are going to tank. (In deference to The Baseball Buddy, I’ll make no comment on the effectiveness of that tactic.) Or the phenomenon of rally caps, where the crowd puts their hats on backwards in hopes of rallying their team in the last innings of the game.

We all have our own tics and gods and rituals we bring to the ball park. Because miracles do happen. Sometimes, the littlest guy on the team really does hit that homerun and wins the game after we just sent up a heart felt prayer of “Please God, please!”

Our psychologist friend, fresh back from checking out the Ichiro Sushi Plate from the Hit it Here Café, (“Do you want my pickled ginger?” he asks) says we have been “intermittently reinforced” which is the strongest kind of reinforcement there is. In translation it means, “every once in awhile, it works.” So we do it again, and maybe again, and then we can’t stop doing it because every once in awhile, it works.

Yeah, I’ll take your pickled ginger, doc. And St. Rita, pray for us. Sometimes I think we baseball fans are just plain crazy.

Keepin’ Score

2008-09-08T01:01:00.011-08:00

I’ve been keeping an eye on the Milwaukee Brewers this last half of the season because I used to go to school in Milwaukee when I was a MOFF. Even though I’ve only seen one game in the old County Stadium and one in the fabulous newly built Miller stadium, I do have a soft spot for the Brew Crew and it looks like they might be going to the post season, battling against Steve’s Wonder Cubs.

So there’s a controversy fermenting (sorry for the pun) over a game played on last weekend where CC Sabathia (Cy Young winner last year for the American League) was pitching a no hitter and the ball came back at him. According to the Associated Press, Sabathia picked the ball up barehanded only to drop it. The runner made it to first base. Hit, you say? That’s what the official scorer said and credited a hit to the runner. Pitcher error, you say? That what the entire Milwaukee Brewers team saw and the team thinks their pitcher was robbed of a no-hitter. Now a one hitter is nothing to sneeze at and CC seemed to take it in stride. But it bring us to the question, who decides what is written in the official records?

It is someone the fan never sees. You probably won’t recognize his or her name either. According to the MLB Office Baseball Rules, “The league president shall appoint an official scorer for each game…The scorer shall have sole authority to make all decision involving judgment such as whether a batter’s advance to first base is the result of a hit or an error.”

Remember, in baseball, a hit has to be earned. Not that you are any less real, living and breathing flesh and blood on first base ready to make your way to home plate and the run you make is any less of a number on the scoreboard, but at the end of the day, in the box score, if you didn’t earn the hit, you don’t get the hit in your column. And if the hit is not in your column, it’s not in your lifetime stats.

And that is the importance and the power of the baseball scorer. He or she does not change the outcome of the game in any way. He or she does not decide balls and strikes like the umpire. One writer said that “about 90% of all calls can be made by most people. The official scorer is hired to make the other 10% of the calls.”

But there are a lot of baseball stats that basically come down to someone deciding who gets the credit and who gets the blame. Believe it or not, most people aren’t very objective about their teams. (I’m talking about you, Softball Diva and Terminal Yankees Fan and you, Sister Turned Red Sox Fanatic.) So there needs to be someone who knows baseball like the back of his/her hand and is also totally familiar with the MLB Official Baseball Rules. These are the most common stats determined by the official scorer that you should be familiar with.

Error: Errors are fielding mistakes that benefit the offense. (Example: the shortstop goes down to pick up the ball and bobbles it. Runner from first makes it to second though if the shortstop had not bobbled the ball, he could have thrown it in time to second to get the runner out. An error is scored against the shortstop.)

Fielders Choice: Describes a situation in which a fielder decides to make play other that to put out a batter running to first base. (Example: same shortstop gets the ball and chooses to throw it to second to get the runner from first. The shortstop could throw it to first and easily get the batter out, but throws it to second instead to stop the runner on first from getting into scoring position. A hit is not scored for the batter because he could have just as easily been thrown out.)

Assist : Given to a fielder who fields the ball prior to a put out, which means another fielder does something to cause the batter or runner to be out.

Runs Batted In: the number of runs that are scored due to a batter’s performance.

Hits: This is the big one. Did the runner hit the ball in a way that got him on base safely without his achievement being credited to the opposing team making a mistake? Meaning, no errors, no fielders choice.

Passed ball: A pitch missed by the catcher that he should have caught and results in a runner advancing or even scoring

Wild pitch: A pitch thrown too high, low or side to be caught by the catcher, again allowing a runner to advance.

Just like the umpire, the scorer has to keep an eye on the ball but they have to be watching everybody else as well. In a regular MLB game there is just one scorer. Back in the old days, when reporters were really the only ones interested in scores, a member of the press was appointed to be the official scorer. But with so much riding on scores (such as league play, individual lifetime stats that determine salary and Hall of Fame consideration) the League started appointing an official scorer in 1980 for each game to promote objectivity. Usually it is someone picked by the home team but paid by the MLB. In the World Series there is a panel of three (one scorer and two writers.) And right now the Milwaukee Brewers’ manager is promoting that idea for regular games too.

So keep in mind, if you are watching a game live or watching a game on television and you hear the announcer say, “let’s see how they score that one,” the they means some person who is appointed, who know something about the game and who is willing to take some abuse but gets no public recognition except at the very bottom of the baseball box scores.

Baseball Names You Should Know, Part Two

2008-09-04T06:30:00.004-08:00

We continue with our list of some of the Baseball Names You Should Know Because People Often Mention Their Names as A Comparison And You Don’t Want to Look Stupid Asking Who They Are. I know that many of you have others. Write a comment at the end and I’ll post ‘em. Remember, these are not necessarily the greatest baseball players who every lived, but names who are mentioned often when talking about baseball history.

8. Nolan Ryan is one of my all-time favorites pitchers, though he retired before I really started watching baseball. He is best known for playing for the Texas Rangers and is best known for his record of being the all time leader in no hitters (seven!) and tied for first for one-hitters with 12 and another 18 two hitters. He threw fast balls that regularly went above 100 mph and he had a mean knuckleball. He pitched well into his forties, and was know as The Ryan Express. He had 5,714 career strikeouts. He also had 2,795 walks in his career, but hey, you got to throw a lot of balls to get a lot of strikes. He has been a spokesperson for Alleve pain medication, and I trust a man to know about pain relief when he has a pitching career like that.

9. Roberto Clemente was the first Latin American to be elected to the Baseball Hall of Fame and the only modern Hall of Famer for whom the mandatory five year waiting period was waived. That’s because he was elected posthumously in 1973 after being lost in an airplane crash while delivering supplies and aid to Nicaraguan earthquake victims. He was a native of Puerto Rico and was knows for his generousity and his charity work in his native country and other Latin American countries. He played his entire 19 season in the Major League Baseball with the Pittsburgh Pirates from 1955 to 1972 and was an All Star for 12 of those seasons. He won 12 Gold Glove Awards (tying with fellow outfielder Willie Mays) and was elected to the All Time Gold Glove Team at the All Star Game in 2007 (joining fellow outfielders Willie Mays and Ken Griffey, Jr.)

10. Joe DiMaggio Joe had the ultimate girlfriend and married her (Marilyn Monroe) and at one point when playing with the Yankees, he was roommates with pitcher Joe Page (another bad boy in the forties and here again in the new century.) And he's mentioned in the Simon and Garfunkel song "Mrs. Robinson." But that’s just baseball trivia. Joe DiMaggio played his entire career from 1936 to 1951 for the New York Yankees as a center fielder. DiMaggio was a 3-time MVP winner and played 13 times in the All Star game, he is also the only player in baseball history to be selected for the All-Star Game in every season he played. DiMaggio achieved a 56-game hitting streak during 1941 that has been called baseball's most mythic achievement. After going hitless for one game, DiMaggio hit in the next 16 consecutive games, for a total of 72 out of 73. He earned .325 lifetime batting average and the New York Yankees retired his number 5.

11. Satchel Paige was an African American pitcher who played with too many teams to list here but who was a legendary pitcher. He played for dozens of different Negro League Teams as well as in the Mexican and Dominican Republic Leagues. His career lasted from the mid-1920s until 1965. (Do the math!) He made his Major League Baseball debut with the Cleveland Indians at 42 years of age becoming the first black pitcher in the American League.

A great story I found on Wikipedia tell the story of Joe DiMaggio’s last stop as a minor league player in 1936 before going to the Majors “before joining the New York Yankees, and he was going to have to face one of baseball’s best pitchers: Satchel Paige. DiMaggio ended up going 1-4 with the game-winning RBI in the bottom of the tenth. A Yankee scout watching the game wired the big club that day a report which read, “DIMAGGIO EVERYTHING WE’D HOPED HE’D BE: HIT SATCH ONE FOR FOUR.”

Paige had a reputation for creative pitches, and was described as throwing a lot of pitches that “were not quite legal and not quite illegal". Pitches named the hesitation pitch, the four day creeper, the bee ball, the bat dodger, and the two hump blooper. His famous quote? “I only wish I got to pitch to Babe Ruth.”

12. Lou Gehrig Mostly, you know this guy because he contracted ALS which cut his baseball career short and ALS, a neurological disease, has been known as Lou Gehrig’s disease ever since. But before that, he had the record for the most number of games played consecutively until it was broken by Cal Ripken. Lou Gehrig was a great ball player in other ways, too. Gehrig set the record for 23 career grand slam home runs (which means bases were loaded at the time when the home run was hit.) He played his entire career of seventeen seasons with the New York Yankees. He has a career 1,995 runs batted in and hit a lifetime batting average of .340 and was a Triple Crown winner in 1934 (which means leading the league in batting average, home runs, and RBIs.) Upon announcing his retirement from baseball (forced by his ALS) he uttered one of the most famous quotes in baseball, “I consider myself the luckiest man in the world.”

13. Cal Ripken Cal Ripken was a short stop and third baseman who played his entire career for the Baltimore Orioles from 1981 to 2001. Long ago, when I was just starting to watch baseball, I saw Cal Ripken show up to bat in his 2,131 game breaking the 56-year-old record set by the "Iron Horse" Lou Gehrig, the legendary New York Yankees first baseman. Okay, I was in tears, looking at the screen and the stadium of fans who truly loved this man as a member of the Baltimore Orioles. He went on to play in a record 2,632 straight games spanning sixteen seasons 1982 to 1998 and played in the MLB All Star game 19 times. With players traded more frequently and free agency, the record for continuous games, especially with the same team will probably stand forever. But that is what they said about Gehrig, too.

14. Mickey Mantle The Boyfriend loves Mickey Mantle (even though he was a Yankee) because Mickey Mantle was a bad boy who was a great ball player and who’s bad habits didn’t seem to slow Mantle down on the field. He played 18 seasons with the New York Yankees and played in 16 All Star teams. He played on 12 pennant winners and 7 World Series championships. He still holds the records for most World Series home runs (18), RBIs (40), runs (42), walks (43), extra-base hits (26), and total bases (123). He made late in life news by needing a liver transplant for all the hard living and hard drinking he had indulged in during life. Oooops.

Baseball Names You Should Know, Part One

2008-09-01T10:25:00.004-08:00

People who love baseball love to talk about baseball. So here, girlfriend, is an abbreviated history lesson of some of the names you should know. Of course, any time you start doing “Top Ten” lists (actually 14 names in this case), dozens of people start arguing passionately about “how could have possibly not included (insert name here)!!” So don’t look at this entry as a list of top players from history or even a definitive list of names. View it as Baseball Names You Should Know Because People Often Mention Their Names When Talking About Baseball And You Don’t Want to Look Stupid Asking Who They Are. Got others? Write me a note and I’ll post your nomination. This following list includes the first seven names that I think you should know.

1. Of course, any list of baseball greats has to start with Babe Ruth , also nick named "The Bambino", and "The Sultan of Swat". He played from 1914 to 1935, for both the Boston Red Sox and the New York Yankees. He was a colorful figure and filled with personality and charisma, but more importantly, he was a great hitter. He was the first player to hit 60 home runs in one season (1927), a record which stood for 34 years until broken by Roger Maris in 1961. He had a lifetime total of 714 record home runs which stood as a record for 39 years, until broken by Hank Aaron in 1974. His batting lifetime batting average was .342. But he is known even better for three other things: He brought excitement and the crowds back to baseball in the Twenties after the Black Sox scandals; he supposedly put The Curse of the Bambino on the Red Sox in retaliation for being traded to the Yankees which prevented the Red Sox from winning the World Series for 85 years; and he was on fire for the Yankees who built the current Yankee Stadium during his tenure (known as “The House That Ruth Built”) which is being torn down at the end of the season, while a new stadium right next door will be ready for business starting in 2009.

2. Cy Young I put Cy Young in the list because there is a prestigious pitching award given in his name every year and I had no idea who he is. Turns out his real name is Denton True Young and he was born in 1867. He pitched for five different teams including the Cleveland Spiders and the Boston Rustlers, (got to love those names) and get this, had a lifetime Earned Run Average of 2.63. He had a lifetime 511 wins and 316 losses, had 76 career shutouts, pitched 3 no hitters, and pitched 7,355 innings. (Holy cow, I say!) In honor of this incredible feat, he was elected to the Baseball Hall of Fame in 1937, and in 1956, Major League Baseball created the Cy Young Award given to a pitcher from each league voted most effective. Roger Clemens has won the Cy Young Award 7 times and Randy Johnson has won it five times. CC Sabithia, who is going to pitch the Milwaukee Brewers into the National League wild card slot, won it for the American League last year.

3. Jackie Robinson is definitely a name you should know because he was the first black baseball player to walk across the baseball color line in the Major League Baseball in the modern era. He made his Major League Baseball with the Brooklyn Dodgers and that appearance ended approximately eighty years of baseball segregation and opened the door to a whole bunch of great players. Robinson played with the Dodgers from 1947 to 1956. He was Rookie of the year in 1947 and had a .311 lifetime batting average. Before Jackie Robinson, black players had the Negro Baseball League. Someone had to be the first, and it was Jackie Robinson. Major League Baseball retired Robinson’s jersey number 42 in 1997, the 50 year anniversary of his debut, across all MLB teams in recognition of his accomplishments both on the field and off the filed in the civil rights movement.

4. Yogi Berra Yogi was a good ball player, catcher, and manager, but the reason you should know him is that he is much better known and quoted for murdering the English language in interesting ways. He played most of his career for the New York Yankees and is now featured in AFLAC commercials (you know, the ones with the duck?). You’ll recognize him for “It ain’t over til it’s over.,” "Ninety percent of this game is half mental." "It's like déjà vu all over again" “that restaurant is so crowded that no one goes there any more” and “When you come to a fork in the road, take it."

5. Reggie Jackson During the playoffs, you will always hear right fielder Reggie Jackson’s name mentioned. He was nicknamed "Mr. October", not for any magazine centerfold appearances , but for his clutch hitting in the postseason. Teams going into the post season liked to have Reggie on their team and he played for five different teams from 1967 to 1987. He played for the Oakland A’s in the early 1970s when they won three consecutive World Series titles and also won 2 consecutive titles with the New York Yankees. He was inducted into the Hall of Fame in 1993. And those guys that sat behind me at the Anchorage Bucs baseball game back in July think he is a pretty good dresser, too.

6. Willie Mays I think the first baseball glove I remember in my house growing up was a Willie Mays edition. Willie Mays is considered by some to be the best ball player ever to play the game. He played with the New York Giants, then the San Francisco Giants and finally with the Mets during 1951 to 1973. Mays had a lifetime career of 660 home runs and made twenty-four appearances in the All-Star Game. Plus by all anecdotal accounts, he was a genuinely nice and charismatic man. Here’s a cool stat that you can use during a game of extra innings: Mays is the only Major League player to have hit a home run in every inning from the 1st through the 16th.

7. Ted Williams I almost got in real trouble with The Boyfriend for overlooking this guy. Boston loves this man, though to be honest, he could be a son-of-a-bitch. But he was one of best ball players to play the game. He played 19 seasons with the Red Sox and is best known for a career batting average of .344 and being the last player to bat over .400 in a single season. He also won the Triple Crown twice which means he ended two seasons leading leads the league in home runs, runs batted in, and batting average. This guy played with the Red Sox from 1939 to 1960 with two breaks out for military services and was in the All Star Game a total of 17 times. Boston has retired his number 9. A tremendous player all around and one of Boston’s best ever. He is also remembered for spitting on a fan, refusing to tip his ballcap to acknowledge the crowd, and was frozen after his death in 2002 (in a process called biostasis) by his daughter who hopes to bring him back when medical technology gets better. Oh yeah, they named that big tunnel thingy in Boston after him, the one that gets you out to Logan Airport faster. Boston loves this guy.

Click below to see footage of Ted Williams at bat.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JwogLVGtDa8

More names to come in the next entry….

The Road to the World Series

2008-08-28T06:45:00.010-08:00

Okay, girlfriend, you have been going along, watching baseball games, happily meandering through the summer, thinking that the fun will never end. Au contraire, my little reindeer sausage with sauerkraut! The baseball season is about to enter its final month of regular play and the fun is only starting. Let’s step back and look at the standings. After the All Star Game in July, the focus narrows on the teams who are contenders for post season play in October and ultimately the World Series.

This has been a wacky year. At the beginning of the season, all the players were fresh faced and healthy from spring training camp and every fan thought that this was going to be the year for her team. This year, the Seattle Mariners were supposed to be a shoo-in for the playoffs, and the Rockies, fresh from the series last year held promise in the West. But both of those teams are way back in the pack. The surprise of the season has been the Tampa Bay Rays (formerly the Devil Rays) who have finished last in their division every year but one in their existence and have never made the playoffs, but who this year are smoking the AL Eastern Division. The Arizona Diamondbacks have only recently risen above a .500 Win/Loss percentage and they are leading their division. And look out, here comes the Cubbies. Go figure. That’s baseball.

So here is how a team makes it to the World Series:

Opening Day happens the first week of April. (Mark your calendars!) During the regular season, teams play a season of 162 games, usually at a rate of six games a week with a regular day off. The American League has fourteen teams divided into Central, Western, and Eastern Leagues. The National League has sixteen teams divided into Central, Western, and Eastern Leagues. Here is the breakout:

Up until recently, teams from the AL never played the teams from the NL until the World Series, but in 1997 the rules were changed to allow “Inter-league Play” which allows NL teams to play AL teams, meaning the Chicago Cubs can play against the Chicago White Sox and the New York Mets can play the New York Yankees. Baseball is rooted thickly in tradition and is slow to move, but every once in awhile it will change in order to attract more fans and spice up the game.

The post season begins in October and the teams in the October playoff games are determined by the leaders in each Division according to their win-loss percentage. The League Standings are listed on your sports page. Here is a sample from my local paper on August 27, 2008

You can see that Tampa has a strong showing with a .608 Win/Loss percentage, and Los Angeles is coming in really strong at .611. (Don’t even bother looking at Seattle. It’s a sore point with The Girlfriend.) But The Boyfriend and The Sister Turned Red Sox Fanatic is still hoping that Boston will pull forward and erase the 3 ½ games they are behind or at least secure the Wild Card position if they can stay ahead of Minnesota. The Softball Diva and Terminal Yankees Fan is in despair because 9 games back is tough to over come, though if anyone can do it, it is those damn Yankees. And Steve, the Hopeful, Hopeless Cubs Fan is dizzy with joy with the chance that Lou Piniella and the Cubs are going to go all the way.

The last game of the regular season is usually played in the very first part of October. At that point, the three winners from each League Divisions and one “wild card” from the League play each other in a best of five series (all the other post game series are best of seven.) , The wild card is again a recent addition to post game play and I like it. The wild card is chosen by taking the team in each division (Central, East and West) with the second best win loss percentages and choosing the one with the best. Sometimes in a strong league, the wild card might actually have a better record than another Division leader. (Look at Boston versus Chicago White Sox.) Four wild card teams have actually gone on to win the World Series, (Boston, the Anaheim Angels and the Florida Marlins twice.)

In the Division playoffs, the highest Win/Loss percentage winner plays the lowest percentage winner, unless they are from the same division. This Division series is best of five which means that the first team to win three games wins. The winners of the first round play each other in the second round for the League Division championship or the Pennant in a seven game series (four games wins the series). And the Pennant winners from the American League plays the Pennant winner from the National League in the World Series. (Oh oh say can you see?....)

Home field advantage in the playoffs (that is, where the series starts) is based on the best Win/Loss percentage, except for the World Series. World Series home field advantage is determined by which League won the All Star Game played in July, which the American League just barely won this year. Unlike the Super Bowl, which is played in a predetermined city whether or not that city’s team is in the final championship, the World Series is played in the respective ballparks of the two participating teams. Wahoo for the hometown fans!

Are you still with me? Here’s a recap. All teams play until the end of September. Then the top teams in each Division (plus the second top team in that League) play until one team left standing in the American League and one left standing in the National League. Then those two teams play each other for the World Series title of World Champions. Right now, we still have a whole month ahead of us of the regular season and in baseball, it ain’t over until it’s over. Watch the close race between the New York Mets and the Phillies and the battle between the Chicago White Sox and Minnesota. I still be watching the Seattle Mariners in September, but with a .379 Win/Loss percentage, even a miracle from St. Rita the Patron Saint of Baseball Players won’t make a difference now.

Hmmm, Red Sox versus Cubs? Rays vs. Mets? White Sox vs. Brewers? Angels vs. Phillies? Better start practicing hitting the high notes in the Star Spangled Banner.

Baseball By the Numbers

2008-08-24T10:30:00.006-08:00

The other day, The Boyfriend wondered out loud if you could build a whole baseball team of players named Rodriguez in Major League Baseball. The Hispanic world, especially the Dominican Republic and Venezuela, are rich producers of some of the best players in Major League Baseball and Rodriguez is a common amongst Hispanic ball players. So I did some research and did indeed find that if you comb the expanded roster of the teams and you made some of the pitchers play catcher or right field. You can construct a complete baseball team out of Los Rodriguez. I also found that they could play against a complete team of Gonzales players with a complete team of Ramirez boys in the wings ready to play the winner.

So hang on to that thought because I’m coming back to our equipo fantástico to illustrate a point.

Years ago, The Boyfriend , The Baseball Buddy and I were in Seattle for a Mariners vs. Cleveland Indians game at Safeco Field. I looked over and saw The Baseball Buddy filling out a grid of boxes in the game program. He was following the game by filling out a scorecard. A scorecard is a shorthand method of recording the plays of the game. The official scorer of the game uses a version of this, but everyday fans can also fill out a simple scorecard to record and follow the plays of the game.

On the left hand side of a baseball scorecard, you write down all the players in the batting lineup and their defensive positions. Then you use the column of boxes provided for each inning to track the performance of each batter by tracing his journey around the bases, or noting how he got out and which out he made. You also note how runners advance based on the performance of the player following him in the batting order, and mark successful and not-so-successful steals. At the end of the game, you use the spaces at the end of the columns and the rows to add up runs, outs, errors and at bats. There’s also a place on the card to note pitchers’ performance as well, such as innings pitched and strikeouts. Just like the box scores in the paper. (See, my little paper cup of freshly squeezed lemonade, everything I’ve been telling you in this adventure all fits together.)

The Baseball Buddy obviously knew how to fill out a score card. I kept peeking over at the Baseball Buddy to try to figure out what those scratches and numbers meant. Being a MOFF growing up (More Of a Football Fan), I had never seen a spectator in the stands fill out a scorecard at a baseball game. Turned out he learned to do that watching baseball as a kid. He says that it really helps you understand and watch what is happening in a game.

At first, a scorecard markings look like some kind of hieroglyphics from an ancient Egyptian stone. But when you learn the basic system, you can actually recreate the entire game when you go home, just in case the highlights on ESPN are not enough for you. How someone scores the game will vary from person to person. Some use numbers for the players, some use position abbreviations. Some people fill in the diamond in each box when a run is made; some fill it in completely only when a homerun is hit. My favorite notation for a scored card is “WW”. Stands for Wasn’t Watching. That’s for when you need to go refill your beverage and you miss something.

I bring up the score card to illustrate a point. Sometimes, I’ll be watching or listening to a baseball game and I’ll hear the announcer say something like, “ 2-4-3 Double Play!” It’s confusing at first because you don’t know what he is referring to. But in scoring, each of the defensive positions (the team not at bat) has a number. So notations on the scorecard can identify the position by its abbreviation such as P for pitcher or 2b for second baseman, or identifies the position by number. The numbers themselves become a shorthand for referring to the defensive positions.

The numbers and the abbreviations are:

1 or P: Pitcher
2 or C: Catcher
3 or 1B: First Baseman
4 or 2B: Second Baseman
5 or 3B: Third Baseman
6 or SS: Shortstop
7 or LF: Left fielder
8 or CF: Center Fielder
9 or RF: Right Fielder
(Note: The Designated Hitter in the American league doesn’t play defense, that is, he plays no position on the field, so he is not assigned a number.)

Easy way to remember the numbers is to remember the Pitcher starts everything by throwing the ball, so he’s number 1. If you think of the Catcher, the 2nd Baseman, the Shortstop and the Center Fielder all standing in a line emanating out from home plate, they are 2-4-6- and 8 respectively (all the even numbers.) The guys on the outer bases and outer fields are all odd number.

So back to our illustration. Our announcer who shouted “2-4-3 Double Play!” just said the Catcher threw the ball to the Second Baseman who got the runner out at second, then threw the ball to First Baseman who got the runner out at First for the Double Play. Cool, huh? Listen for it, and you’ll start to hear the numbers. On a scorecard for that bat, you would write 2-4 in the box for the runner going to second (because that is how he got out) and write 2-4-3 in the box of the runner going to first to indicate the double play.

So let’s imagine the team of Los Ramirez playing the team of Los Gonzales.

Los Gonzales is up to bat. Gonzales is already on first due to a line drive to left field, and Gonzales gets up to bat. After two balls and a strike, Ramirez, the pitcher (P), throws Gonzales a change-up and Gonzales hits a grounder to Ramirez, the third baseman (3b), who rockets it over to Ramirez, the second baseman (2b), who tags the base thus putting Gonzales out (who tries to slide in a way that will throw Ramirez off balance). Ramirez isn’t falling for the old slide trick and gets a beautiful throw directly at Ramirez, the first baseman (1b), who just barely catches the ball before Gonzales reaches the base.

You could say, “Gonzales to Ramirez to Ramirez putting Gonzales out on second to Ramirez putting Gonzales out on first saving Ramirez from any more damage to an already shaky ERA.”

Or you could just say, “5-4-3 Double Play!”

See what I mean? ¿Es un sistema de excelente, verdad?

Blood and Guts

2008-08-18T22:22:00.011-08:00

Baseball is usually not a contact sport, girlfriend, except for tagging the runner out and pushing past the other people sitting in your row to get to your seat. That being said, I want talk about blood and guts. There are moments baseball stops being “non-contact” and someone gets hurt. Here are the top ten blood and guts situations a ball game can generate.

#1: Late season injuries. Major League Baseball consists of 162 games, played six games a week. That makes for a Petri dish for injuries. After the halfway point in the season, you see lots of injuries, such as torn rotator cuffs (in the shoulders of pitchers) pulled hamstrings and groin muscles, torn Achilles tendons, jammed and sprained fingers and toes. These are so common that usually your local paper list who is on the DL or disabled list.

#2: Outfielders Crashing into the Back Wall. This is as close to NASCAR as baseball ever wants to get. You know those spectacular plays where the center fielder goes back, back, back, and almost seems to climb up the back wall and reach over the fence and pluck out the ball from the other side to rob the batter of a spectacular home run? Well, sometimes they miss. Not exactly. You never really miss the wall. But fielders may lose track of where they are and crash against that back wall. Ballparks have a warning track to give some notice that the wall is approaching and the walls are padded, but if you are chasing a ball running as fast as you can, colliding with the back wall at Wrigley Field, even with those nice old vines to soften the blow, it’s gonna hurt.

Weirdest crash into the back wall was in the Fourth of July series between Yankees and Red Sox where Johnny Damon goes flying into the wall and hurt himself. Watch the ball hit by Kevin Youklis balancing on the top of the wall for a second or two before falling back into play. http://whatsthe401.com/2008/07/04/sports/johnny-damon-near-catch-ball-sits-on-wall/

#3: Outfielders Crashing into Each Other. Players are supposed to call for the ball so they don’t run into each other, but sometimes they don’t hear each other. You can almost hear the crack of foreheads when this happens. The worst crash had to be back in 2005 when New York Mets outfielders Carlos Beltran and Mike Cameron collided while diving for a ball last night, breaking Cameron's nose and fracturing his cheekbones. http://www.guzer.com/videos/baseball_crash.php

#4: Spectators Getting Hit by Baseballs. You know about this one --- its the Catch Yourself a Souvenir Foul Ball Syndrome. But seriously, people can get hurt. Bats and balls flying into the crowd is a hot topic these days and it may not be too long before nets and see through walls and star wars defense cover takes place. And one of the thing that is really pushing this topic is…

#5: Spectators getting hit by broken bats. Softball is played with aluminum bats, but major league baseball is played with wooden bats. A bat is truly a thing of beauty, but it is mortal. Being pounded into the path of a 100 mph fastball, they sometimes break. Bats mostly break at the thinnest part of the wood, so that fat piece goes flying unfortunately like a Ethiopian spear and becomes as deadly as that weapon as well.

You don’t need to tell Susan Rhodes that. The poor girlfriend went on a date to her first Major League Baseball game and got hit in the mouth by an airborne broken baseball bat on April 25 of this year. That is why there is a big controversy in the MLB about maple vs. ash bats and the tendency of maple bats to shatter more dangerously.
http://sports.yahoo.com/mlb/news?slug=jp-bats052908&prov=yhoo&type=lgns

#6: Players and coaches getting hit by baseballs and bats. The catcher is crouching underneath a swinging bat and on rare occasion, that ball slam into his protective face mask. It’s an engineering feat of wonder, that mask is, but your head has still got to take a beating. Umpires have gotten it pretty square on the face, hand or chest as well. That’s why they look so big on tv, they are padded up something fierce. But getting hit by a screaming baseball can be serious. Mike Coolbaugh of the Colorado Rockies, was struck in the head with a line drive last year and died from the injury. MLB then passed the rule requiring the third and first base coaches to wear helmets. And broken bats can be a real danger to folks on the field. Umpire Brian O’Nora got hit in the head with a broken bat at a Kansas City Royals game.
http://www.myfoxkc.com/myfox/MyFox/pages/sidebar_video.jsp?contentId=6846259&version=1&locale=EN-US

#7: Sliding into plate. There are stories about long ago ballplayer Ty Cobb who was rumored to have sharpened his spikes in order to discourage any baseman from blocking his way. When a runner slides, and it appears he will be out, sometimes he will aim his slide toward the legs of the baseman in order to throw him "off balance." ( Let’s be honest, he is trying to take out the baseman so he can’t make the double play.) In the same vein, sometimes the baseman will stand in front of the plate and block the slide. The catcher is notorious for this because a runner sliding into home plate can lose the game for your team. But it is not going to be pretty. This happened just recently in an August 6 game between Texas and New York. David Murphy of the Texas Rangers and Ivan Rodirguez of New York Yankees knocked each other out just a couple weeks ago and trust me, even with all that protective gear that Pudge was wearing, he was hurting!

#8: Hitting the batter. You’ve heard a little bit about this already,(See A Gang of Thieves and Assassins) but hitting the batter can be both intentional and accidental. Sometimes the pitcher just loses control. Other times (like between Joba Chamberlain of the Yankees and Kevin Youklis of the Red Sox), there’s just bad blood. A baseball can give you a pretty bad circular bruise on your shin, or it can really zing you bad on your funny bone, or it can take away about fifty IQ points if it beans you in the head.

#9: Pitcher getting hit by a baseball. The pitcher throws a ball and hopes that if the batter hits it, that it doesn’t straight back at him. It can be a good thing if the pitcher has fast enough reflexes to catch it, but woe is him if it comes back and hits him in the foot or the leg or in the head. Owners and managers also hate to see their million dollar starter with thousand dollar fingers reach out reflexively with a bare hand to catch a ball sailing by him. That's why God made second basemen.

#10: Batters Charging the Mound/ Team Fights. The 1970s seem to be much worse for both benches clearing to defend their honor, but you don’t see as many fights any more. But here is a video of the top ten charges at the mound. Number one is from a game played near the end of Nolan Ryan’s career (one of the best pitchers ever in the game) where Robin Ventura, thinking that Ryan had intentionally hit him, charged the plate. A million baby boomers cheered as Ryan got the kid in a headlock and repeatedly punched him. Not cheering because of the punching, but because the “old” man still had it in him.

http://ballhype.com/video/nolan_ryan_vs_robin_ventura_1993/

And I’m adding in the "Coco Crisp Charging the Mound" video because it seemed to be the most talked about incident so far this summer, hair pulling and eye poking aside.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ywYMKQdxu0

Here in Alaska, we have another entry for blood and guts.

#11: Things Falling From the Sky. Not only do you have to keep your eyes on the ball, you have to keep your eyes on the sky. In 2003, during an Anchorage Bucs/ Fairbanks Goldpanners Game in Anchorage, a Cessna 207 carrying four people crashed onto a ball field (actually it crashed onto the running track separating the ball park from a soccer game that was going on in the adjacent field). Fortunately, everyone on the two fields and the four people in the plane survived. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h_M7FjjBA5I

All the Girlfriend has to say is, "Anyone want to buy a cafeteria tray?"

What Are You Wearing To The Game Tonight?

2008-08-14T07:00:00.002-08:00

Every fan seems to have an opinion about baseball uniforms. Do you adore them? Do you despise them? Do you have a fan jersey yourself?

Yes, darling, let’s talk fashion. What’s in? And what is way out? I really like most of the current baseball uniforms that teams are wearing in the late years of this decade. Maybe I’m trapped in the prism of my own fashion times, but I especially like the alternate jerseys. In a recent game between the Boston Red Sox and the New York Yankees, the Red Sox wore one of my favorite uniforms -- a bright scarlet baseball shirt with blue black Red Sox letters outlined in white over snow white pants. Sharp looking! Such a contrast to their usual old time baseball look, which is a bit reminiscent of the thirties and forties, which I also think is a classic baseball look.

Not surprisingly, the Yankees, coming from the fashion center of the country, always looks good, if on the conservative side. Blue on grey, blue pinstripes over white, solid blue over white. Always as stylish and classic. The baseball version of the little black dress. (Rumor had it that the pinstripes came into vogue during Babe Ruth’s term with the Yankees, because Ruth was so, hmmm, uh, how you say, big boned, and vertical stripes tend to be slimming,. It’s not true but there is a lesson to be learned about dressing for the workplace.) The Seattle Mariners also have a conservative bent to their uniforms, though since they do live in the Northwest, you know that they have to be wearing polar fleece in there somewhere.

I have no doubt that the designers of Fashion Week in New York would die to design baseball uniforms for all of those good looking boys. But, of course, in their big fat rulebook, Major League Baseball have some rules about uniforms. (Funny thing is, they don’t mention baseball caps, the most ubiquitous fashion statement around. And slimming lines are left to each team.)

The official Major League baseball rules about uniforms are this:

Every team must have two set of uniforms. A white uniform is worn for home games, and a uniform of a distinctly darker color must be worn for away games. Most teams have an alternate jersey as well for playing at home, such as the Red Sox Red Jersey over white leggings (oops sorry, pants.) Every player must were matching uniforms identical in the style, colors, trim and graphics. Players are not supposed to attach stuff to their uniforms that differ in color or proves detracting such as shiny buttons. No one can wear a graphic or details that resembles a baseball to prevent players from every seeing more than one baseball at a time on the field. Sleeves are supposed to b the same length (I guess undershirts are okayed to be asymmetrical. Jacoby Ellsbury has been wearing a one long sleeve look, and I noticed Derek Jeter doing the same thing during a game.) Players uniforms must have the number of each player on his back, but whether or not they have the name of the player on the uniform is up to the league.

Teams have several versions of their uniforms for away and at home. Sometimes a team will wear their team name uniforms at home (such as Rays or Astros) and wear the name of their town away (such as Tampa or Houston.) But it will be the home team wearing some version of white, and the visiting team wearing a darker color.

Some players tuck in their pants into their socks for the old time 30s look like Alex Rodriguez and Jason Varitek . I was eavesdropping on some middle age male fans at a local ball game and they called it “long sock” look and the “short sock” look. They also claimed that Reggie Jackson was the sharpest looking player ever to play the game and always wore his uniform the right way. They weren’t too crazy about Manny Ramirez’s uniform when he played for Boston. Manny claims his baggy pants pays homage to the hip hop culture of the streets he calls home, but I think they are just more comfortable that way when he trots around the bases.

Uniforms are subject to change because teams try to keep up with the time, and keep updating their looks. Some teams, like the Yankees and the Red Sox seem to change their basic uniform very little. I notice that the Pittsburgh Pirates seem to be a little more daring in their fashion choices (such as the round flat top cap of the Seventies and the vesty thing they are wearing now.) It doesn’t always work for me but I do believe it is good for a ball club to be aggressive.

A fun game to play with long time baseball fans is to ask them what they think have been the best and the worst uniforms ever made. Chances are someone will mention the Houston Astros of the 1970s. That’s the one that gets my vote.

But then I discovered that the Chicago White Sox experimented with a shorts version for those muggy Midwestern days. Yikes! I guess somebody thought that was a good idea until someone had to slide into second base. (I am stuck on bandaids…)

Every once in awhile in today’s game, you’ll see a “Turn Back the Clock Days” where the stadium goes retro and the home team wears the uniforms of the Eighties or the Seventies. The Toronto Blue Jays (who have a very smart looking uniform in 2008) sponsor Flashback Fridays in which they wear their very distinctive powder blue outfits of old. First time I saw them wearing them, I didn’t know about the retro thing and I just about popped my eyes wondering whoever thought that that particular shade of blue looked good. But knowing now it’s a retro-thing, I think it is fun.

Other retro uniforms from the Seventies will probably not work as well. Yellow seemed a popular color back then, but the uniforms have not dated well. Though those pinstripes just make Dave Parker practically disappear, don’t they?

There are a ton of websites listing the ugliest uniforms ever so I don’t need to go down that street in the Garment District. As I said, it’s a favorite sport of fans to do the Michael Kors Project Runway critique of past uniforms. Probably someday, someone writing a blog about baseball in the future will look back on this decade, and look at the bright, cherry red of the Red Sox uniform clashing against the stark virgin white of the leggings (oops, I mean pants) and write, “Whatever were they thinking?”

Pitching Stats

2008-08-09T09:51:00.012-08:00

WARNING!!! THIS COLUMN CONTAINS STATISTICS AND MAY NOT BE SUITABLE FOR ALL AUDIENCES. USE DISCRETION IN CONTINUING.

Hah, hah, girlfriend. Just kidding. I’m projecting my own "eyes-glaze-over-when-someone-starts-droning-on-about-stats” paranoia on to you. Trust me, this will be fun.

We’ve focused on pitching the last couple entries (with a side trip to the bar and the ball park). To wrap up, here are some stats that will help you judge how well a pitcher is doing.

Remember how to read a box score? Pitchers have box scores, too, and include the same stats (hits, runs, strike outs) but from the perspective of the pitching mound. Two stats, however, are specific to pitching. They are Earned Runs Average (ERA) and Win/Loss Percentage.

EARNED RUN AVERAGE: The last thing a pitcher wants is for a batter to get a hit. And the pitcher REALLY doesn’t want the runner to make it all the way to home plate because that’s a run. The Earned Run Average (ERA) represents the average number of runs a pitcher gives up in nine innings. The other team must “earn the run” or basically beat the pitcher for it to be counted. (Fielding errors don’t count.)

ERA is calculated by taking all the earned runs a pitcher has against him, dividing it by the number of innings pitched and multiplying by nine If you want to remember how to figure it out, you can always look it up by going HERE. Even if you don’t remember how the ERA is calculated, remember that the lower the number, the better. So around a 1.5 to 2.0 ERA is really good , but a 6.2 ERA means a pitcher is struggling.

Another thing to remember is that ERA is the opposite of Batting Average. The lower the ERA, the better (with the 1.0s or lower 2.0s being really good) For batting average, the higher the better (with being in the .300s being really good.).

WIN/LOSS PERCENTAGE: For every game, one pitcher is awarded a win and one pitcher is awarded a loss. A pitcher gets the win if his team takes the lead while he is in the game and maintains the lead. The losing pitcher then is the guy who gave up the run that put the opposing team ahead and helped the enemy win the game. Ouch! Got to be rough to be a designated “loser” and have it go on your permanent record. You will often hear something like, “Felix Hernandez is 7 and 7” or read something like Hernandez (7-7) That means in this season Felix has been awarded the win in 7 games and was awarded the loss in 7 of those games. (His current ERA is 2.94, by the way.)

Don’t forget those relief pitchers eating sunflower seeds and spitting in the bullpen. If your team is ahead and you are tapped on the shoulder to get into the game, the team expects you to keep that lead. Relief pitchers have their own stat called a “save.” A pitcher is awarded a save when his team wins and he was the last pitcher. (There are some other things that go into it, such as you can’t be awarded a win and a save at the same time, but basically you got the idea.) Marino Rivera seems to be the King of Saves currently. He has 28 saves in 28 save opportunities -- damn, he’s scary.

Remember the box score from the newspaper? Pitching stats are also listed for each game.

IP - Innings Pitched.
H - Hits that the batters got off him.
R - Runs made while he was pitching. (Adding up the totals from all the pitchers, this column should add up to the final score.)
ER - Earned Runs or those runs that were not due to fielder error. (May not always add up to the score,)
BB - Base on Balls, or how many times a pitcher walked a batter.
SO - Strike Outs, or how many time a pitcher struck out a batter.
ERA - The current Earned Run Average of the pitcher after this game.

Note that in the game above, Putz actually got the Win event (indicated by the W in front of his Win-Loss Percentage) even though he was the closer. He was the pitcher at the time the Mariners pulled ahead of the Rays with a game-ending two-run homerun. Wins pack more of a statistical punch for a pitcher than Saves. Wheeler, the Rays' closer, got the Loss since he was the pitcher at the time the opposing team scored the go ahead run.

Three other phrases that you will hear:

Shutout: A shut out means that the opposing team had no runs. Runners may have made it onto base and batters may have made hits, but no one made it successfully home. The score on their end was a big fat 0. That ain’t easy to do. That’s a combination of good fielding and defense, and good pitching.

No-hitter: A no hitter means that there were no hits by the opposing team. Runners might be on base due to balls and errors, but no runner had a legitimate hit. So when you look at the scoreboard at a game, under hits it says a big fat 0. This is really difficult to do, and you might see just a couple no hitters in a baseball season. (This is when a low scoring ball game can be very exciting.) When a pitcher is pitching this good, the manager might leave him in the game to pitch all nine innings. When someone is throwing a no hitter, it is tradition (and superstition) not to mention it as such so as not to jinx it and it is tradition for other players not to talk to the pitcher in order not to jinx him.

Perfect Game: This is almost impossible. More people have orbited the moon that thrown a perfect game. (That’s my most favorite baseball stat in the world.) It means, no hits and no runners on base. If the pitcher pitches the whole game, that means 27 batters up and 27 batters down. It means when you look up at the scoreboard, you see big fat 0s across the board. Last pitcher to throw a perfect game was Randy Johnson of the Diamondbacks back in 2004. Couldn’t happen to a nicer (or a bigger) fellow.

Watching Baseball in a Bar

2008-08-04T21:30:00.003-08:00

The Baseball Buddy has been up visiting us so of course we’ve been watching plenty of baseball games. He, the Boyfriend and I took a night to go see an Anchorage Bucs game (our local ball club) on a particularly good night with some good play and one of only a few sunny actually warm days in this very cool summer.

We’ve also watched a game or two at one of our favorite bars to catch a ball game after work. It got me thinking, Girlfriend, to offer you some pointers on watching baseball in a bar.

There’s a bit of an art to watching baseball in a bar. Some things you have control over and of course, others just happen. You need to go with the right people, you have to pick a place that has baseball playing on the tv, and it helps if the bar is showing a game you actually want to watch. Food is always good if you are going to be watching for awhile, and the Boyfriend points out, it helps if you can get peanuts in the shell, even if they are out of a vending machine. (The place we watch is a “bar” bar, so it ain’t fancy.)

I live in Alaska time Zone, which means a lot of east coast night games are usually in their sixth or seventh innings by the time I get off work. We can easily catch the last two or three innings of a game then still have the whole evening ahead. Late afternoon is a great time to go see a game. Usually bars are slower and there isn’t a lot of chatter or a loud juke box stuff going on.

Pick a place that has multiple screens if you can so you have a better chance you will find a team you want to watch. If you just love the game of baseball, it probably won’t matter what teams you are watching. The Boyfriend said that any baseball game is better than a basketball game.

Me? I like to watch teams I know. I appreciate good baseball, but I like it even better if I recognized the guy up to bat, or know a little about the pitcher. You don’t have to know much, but if I recognize Jeremy Reed or Tim Wakefield or Johnny Damon or Ichiro Suzuki, I’m gonna to be more interested. And if you are with people you like and who are fun, that’s your insurance against a boring or uninteresting game.

Best time to find baseball in a bar that isn’t a designated sports bar or baseball bar is in April and mid July to mid August. The basketball playoffs tend to dominate in late spring early summer and football gradually sneaks back in August, roaring back into life in September. It is a tough fact, but not everyone likes baseball. Once the Boyfriend and I walked into a place one afternoon and asked the bartender politely if we could get a ball game on. We were told quite bluntly that the hockey playoffs were on and other customers in the bar were watching. Ouch! Sorry. Hockey wasn’t even on our radar. So be mindful of others in the bar. Choose a baseball friendly place or a place with multiple screens so you can live and let live.

A table with an unobstructed view is the best. In the place we like to go, there are multiple screens. Once during the fattest part of the season, we could see three screens of baseball from our table. And this is no lie, we once were watching when all three screen had bases loaded and went to full counts. It was sensor overload, and of course while we were watching one game, the team hit a home run on one screen and when we switched attention to the other screen, the first screen showed the batter striking out (while there was another home run in the middle screen.) Whew! No way on earth we could have orchestrated that one.

At some point, try sitting at the bar and watch a game over the head of the bartender. It’s more social and you are bound to have a better chance at having a moment with the other barstooled patrons. You definitely want to watch the playoffs or better yet, the World Series, with a bunch of like minded fans in a crowded bar. There’s a camaraderie that happens at these time and you want to be part of the full crowd press of fans rooting for the same team.

It goes without saying to always treat your waitress or the bartender kindly. These people work hard and put up with a lot of shit in their job. You don’t want to add to it. Tip your waitress or bartender well and be kind to them.

Now here comes a challenge. How much do you talk during a game? Seriously, this is a fine point of balance. I find that guys love to talk a lot about baseball. Especially if you have a stats guy, he is a fountain of minutiae and obscure facts. Other patrons can go on and on. In a loud, booming somewhat beer soaked voice, they counter guess the manager, they think the umpire is blind as a bat, and they always have a better way of playing the game. But I have found that guys aren’t very tolerant of women talking about baseball. It is like they wait for you say something stupid. Sometimes, folks at your table just want to watch the game and talk is distracting. I like to ask questions so I can learn more, and I put in my own observations from the watching I’ve done. But learn to read the body language of when your companions are starting to get irritated. So here are a couple of ideas.

First of all, baseball is supposed to be fun, so don’t take anything too seriously that happens in a bar. No matter what, you are there to have fun, so cheer, yell, whatever you want and don’t let anyone deter you from being a fan. Or go with a bunch of Girlfriends and talk as much as you want.

Or do what I do. At some point during the game, I find myself watching and eavesdropping on the other people in the bar. I love people watching. I love it when a Yankees ball cap comes in and sits down three bar stools from a Boston Red Sox cap. Boston always has the loudest fans so I know it won’t take long before there is a shouting match at the television, each in its own distinctive East Coast accent. I also love to keep an eye on the middle age quiet guy sitting by himself at the bar nursing a beer with his eyes glued on the set watching the Detroit Tigers game. I know that guy probably grew up watching that team with his dad and he is watching every play with old, experienced eyes and a hopeful heart. Or, there is the drunk who has cornered some young pretty Girlfriend I want to rescue, because he is talking her ear off trying to impress her with his knowledge while she is politely listening and nodding her head, but trying to plot an exit strategy.

I like watching the people almost as much as the game. Sports brings stuff out in people that is wacky and almost beyond reasonable explanation. I think sports matters to people because it makes people care passionately about something and fight epic battles and go up against the enemy mano-a-mano, and win victoriously or lose tremendously and at the end of the day they can still go home without losing their life, a limb or their children or a homeland. It is the Roman coliseum without the chariots, the blood or the Christians being ripped asunder. So people will cheer and yell and verbally punch each other in serious good fun. Fan, of course, is short for fanatic.

Which brings me to my final point. When you watch baseball in a bar and you realize that someone else two tables down is rooting for your same team, make eye contact with him or her. Raise your glass and mouth the words, “Go Mariners!” That fan will always raise a glass and toast you back. Because, for one brief moment, you’ll both believe that your team will actually win.

My Dream Job

2008-07-31T13:51:00.006-08:00

Girlfriend, you want to know what my dream job would be?

One word: bobbleheads.

I want to give away bobbleheads.

As in Seattle Mariners Yuniesky Betancourt Bobbleheads Giveaway night. Or be the person who gives out Boston Red Sox Dustin Pedroira lunch boxes and baseball hats. Or that person who arranges for “Kids Run Around the Bases” night where all kids under twelve can storm the field after the Sunday afternoon game and run around the major league bases. Or the best promotional idea ever--Ichiro Suzuki headbands. A martial arts head bands complete with the Japanese Rising Sun. Free to the first 20,000 fans.

Or how about Miller Stadium in Milwaukee where they hold a seventh inning sausage race featuring a hot dog, a bratwurst and a Polish sausage race around the bases while the crowd cheers for the link they think will reach home plate first. When the Milwaukee Brewers hit a home run, Bernie Brewer the mascot (it used to be Bonnie Brewer) slides down a slide into a platform and balloons are released into the air. Back in the seventies, Bonnie, dressed as a Bavarian Bar Maid slid into a very large, distinct stein of beer, and the balloons represented carbonation. Talk about a Milwaukee crowd pleaser! We are more politically correct now.

My dream job is to work as a marketing person for the Seattle Mariners or any baseball team that would have me. Remember I’m the one who came up with the cafeteria tray with the team logo. That idea is looking better every day. Just recently a young boy was attending his first Major League Baseball game in Chicago and was seriously hurt when he got hit in the head with a baseball. Poor little guy! Cafeteria trays with your team logo. You heard it here first.

Seattle, give me a call. I got a million ideas. How about “Girlfriends Run Around the Bases” night with the catcher and pitcher of the home team greeting everyone at home plate with pitchers of margaritas and a customized salt-rimmed-margarita-glass adorned with the home team logo? The Boyfriend suggests having tours where you can stand at home plate in an at bat and feel what it is like for a Major League Pitcher to throw a fast ball down the middle of the plate. Brilliant!

You got to keep the crowd involved. You’ve got them to rally around the team. And you have to build a fan base. While some fans in Boston are trying to kick other pink hatted fans out of the ball park, I think the teams themselves welcome new fans and want to develop devoted fans. Let’s face it, if you really want to watch a ball game, you can probably follow it so much better on television. But that’s not really the point, is it? Baseball is supposed to be fun. Going to a baseball game is supposed to be fun, too. When you go to a live game, you want to watch the game, and share the experience with the other fans around you. You want to be there.

You want to walk up First Avenue in Seattle on a sunny, cool evening, stop at the Triangle Bar right before the park, have a cold Rainier and watch the river of fans stream by the outside beer garden, looking for fans wearing the baseball caps of the opposing team. Then you walk the rest of the short way into the park. And it doesn’t matter if you have been to Safeco Field before, it always takes your breath away when you see the field and you hear the trains’ blare in the background.

Or you want to take the Green Line into Boston and walk down Yawkey Way joining a growing jumble of people in red and blue (and a few in pink) in the narrow streets, stop and have some fried clams with bellies and then squeeze into the narrow aisles and sing along with Sweet Caroline at the seventh inning stretch and wave at the Citgo sign and make a joke about Dunkin' Donuts and swear you are not going to get seats behind a post next time.

Or, as The Softball Diva tells it, you take No. 4 train to Yankees Stadium and find your spot in the cavernous, soon-be-torn-down stadium, order a beverage from your favorite beer vendor, and yell out the roll call at the beginning of each game trying to get all the players of your beloved Yankees to acknowledge you.

That’s what makes live games so fun. That’s why I want to be the one who organizes Stitch and Pitch Night or Resusable Grocery Bag Night. I want to be the one who gets up and sings the Star Spangled Banner. I want to join the team that convinced the management to print up Marineros baseball caps for the crowd to acknowledge the Hispanic contribution to baseball. Or print up the terrible towels designed to distract and terrify the opposing team, or pass out the Rally Monkeys (whatever the hell those things are supposed to be.)

I know, the really diehard fans are booing and throwing tomatoes at me right now (right over the plate, buddy!) or throwing a cream pie in my face to make me leave the field. (Hey, wait, Washington cherry pie night... a pie throwing contest... throwing out the first pie of the evening… I think we got something here!) I know ballparks that sell out regularly like Fenway Park and Yankee Stadium don’t need this kind of hokum. But for me, this is the job of a lifetime. If you can’t play baseball, at least you can “play” baseball.

Meanwhile, if you are looking for a unique gift idea for someone, especially one who is a baseball fan, did you know that you can have your own custom made bobble head made that resembles that person? Check it out at:

http://www.whoopassenterprises.com/

http://www.headbobble.com/index.html

Really, I think this is a great idea! And I got a million more where that came from.

Hey, What is the Guy from First Base Doing There?

2008-07-26T10:52:00.007-08:00

Curiosity killed the cat, I know. But what are they talking about? The catcher trots out to the mound, and he and the pitcher engage in some secret conversation, lips hidden from spies behind their gloves. Uh, oh, here comes the Pitching Coach, who trots purposefully out to the mound and he joins in the discussion. Then the third baseman comes in, and the shortstop, and soon even the first baseman is hovering on the side of the group, extending his ear, trying to eavesdrop. What is the first baseman doing there? Is this a team decision making meeting? Does he get to vote? Does he just not want to feel left out? Something’s going on. Something’s happening, Uh oh! Now it’s the umpire jogging his way toward the mound and the group scatters like teens caught smoking cigarettes in the school bathroom.

But then there are the other visits, the visits when the Main Honcho Father Figure Guy strolls to the mound, leisurely, sometimes menacingly, sometime kindly and says a few words, then slaps the pitcher on the butt, and the pitcher takes that long walk back to dugout by himself. I can almost hear the conversation between the two of them. “But I don’t want to go, Dad. I’ll do better. I got one more 91 mph in me.” “Son, we can do this the easy way, or we can do this the ugly way.” Of course, you know who always wins. Except in the case of Grady Little and Pedro Martinez in the 2003 playoff series.

A coach or the manager may visit the pitcher just once per inning. If a new pitcher is put into a game, again, the coach or manager can visit him just once during an inning. If a coach or manager visits the pitcher the second time during that inning, the pitcher must be removed. A coach or manager can also visit a pitcher when the umpire calls a timeout at the request of the opposing team, but the visit has to end when the timeout ends.

“Visit to the mound” is such a friendly term, isn’t it? It invokes images of “Hey, how you doing? Can I get you anything? A coke? A nacho boat, perhaps, from the snack bar? A bit more sunscreen?” Not likely, but a friendly thought nonetheless. If the pitching coach is out there, you know that he is probably talking about how and where to pitch to the batter. Mel Stottlemyre, the pitching coach for the Mariners, is my favorite in this role. He looks like he is having a grand old time out there talking to the players about the game, about the batter, or maybe even about the good old days. If a pitcher looks hurt or strained something or got hit, the coach is probably out there assessing the damage to their investment. If the Main Honcho Father Figure Guy is out there, you know it’s the beginning of the end.

Sometime the manager will slowly stride to the mound, chat with the pitcher a bit, (here comes that nosey parker from first base again!) and make a big deal of the releasing of the pitcher. It is one of those great rituals of baseball -- the changing of the guard, the acknowledgement of a game well pitched, the crowd cheering a particularly fine display of pitching and skill. Sometimes it is more like a stadium of Romans booing a failing pitcher who is having a bad day and is being released well before the fifth inning. Or sometimes it is just the respectful applause of the crowd for the too short glory of a specialty pitcher brought in to pitch to just one guy.

It is during these moments of high drama that I think that baseball parks need to return to live bands or at least a return to the Hammond Organ to add a dramatic soundtrack to the drama unfolding before us. A strike-up of “Fanfare for the Common Man” is appropriate for the pitcher who wowed us with extraordinary skill and precision. Or for the pitcher who obviously is not happy to be leaving the game earlier than expected, a subtle rendition of “Take This Job and Shove It!” might get the crowd riled up.

Sometimes, the Main Honcho Father Figure Guy seems to leisurely stroll to the mound and chat jovially with the pitcher and the other boys gathered at the mound. You think he might be negotiating or talking it over with the pitcher. Be assured, he has made his decision. But if he can stretch the visit out a bit, it can give the relief pitcher in the bullpen just a few more moments to warm up.

Visits to the mound from the catcher are a little different. The catcher is not limited to just one visit each inning. The catcher might go out to the mound to talk to the pitcher if it appears that the signs aren’t clear, or if there is going to be a change in signs, or to make sure the two are on the same page. That’s when you see the stealthy talk behind the gloves so the rascals from the other team don’t use their stealthy-lip-reading-spies to steal the signs. (See Spies Amongst Us entry) Sometimes the catcher goes out there to slow the pace down or calm the pitcher down. Jason Varitek, catcher extraordinaire for the Boston Red Sox said he once walked out to the mound and told the pitcher he (Varitek) just needed a minute to calm down himself after a questionable call from the umpire.

There’s a great scene in the movie Bull Durham where catcher Crash Davis goes out to the mound to tell pitcher Nuke LaLoosh, who is pitching his best game yet, to hit the team’s mascot. It was a ploy to mess with the batter and frighten him because Nuke was getting too predictable in his fast balls. But there is no sign in a catcher’s repertoire to tell the pitcher “Hit the Bull.”

Those kinds of visits I understand. But I’m so curious what is going on when everyone on the team seems to gather at the mound. What is that all about? And what is that guy from First Base doing there, hovering on the outside of the group, extending his ear towards the conversation? It look likes a football huddle from my MOFF (More of A Footbal Fan) days.

There another great scene from Bull Durham of the gathering at the mound that will forever change your perception of what the heck is going on. (Girlfriend, if you haven’t seen Bull Durham yet, run don’t walk to see it, or I swear I will show up at your doorstep late some night with my copy, a bag of Cheetoes and a bottle of cheap wine.)

The game is stopped dead in its tracks and most of the team is huddled at the plate engaged in a serious conversation. The manager tells the assistant manager to get out there and find out what’s going on there.

Assistant Manager jogs out to the mound and says to the team, “What the hell is going on out here?”

“Well, “ Crash (the catcher) says, “Nuke is scared because his eyelids are jammed and his old man is here. We need a live rooster to take the curse off Jose’s glove and nobody seems to know what to get Jimmy and Millie for their wedding present. That about right?” He looks to the gloomy crowd gathered around the mound. Everybody nods. Crash continues, “We’re dealing with a lot of shit right now.”

The assistant manager chews his gum a bit, and kicks the dirt with the toe of his shoe. He mumbles, “ Ah, well, uh candlesticks always make a nice gift and maybe we can find out where she’s registered, maybe get a place setting or a silverware pattern set. Okay, let’s get to it!" He pats the first baseman on the butt and jogs back to the dugout.

That’s another way to make baseball fun. Next time the game stops because the troops are gathering around the pitcher at the mound, make-up your own dialogue. Or mutter out loud. “Candlesticks make a nice gift.” Guaranteed to get a smile out of The Boyfriend.

Spies Amongst Us

2008-07-21T12:30:00.000-08:00

The ball park looks likes the most innocent, All American Place to spend a few hours and enjoy our national pastime, but beware! There is more intrigue, deception, spying, code breaking, and intelligence gathering going on than happened during World War II. Everyone is transmitting in code. The manager is signaling the batter. The catcher is signaling the pitcher. The runner on second is signaling the third base coach. The third base coach is signaling the runner on first. And the guy sitting in seat HH218 is trying to signal to the beer guy “That’s two Miller Lites and two regular MGDs.”

When pitching in baseball, there needs to be an element of surprise. You want to throw a batter off his rhythm. You want to throw him something he doesn’t expect or anticipate. But the catcher can’t be surprised by what the pitcher throws or else he might miss the catch, giving an advantage to the other team. The pitcher and catcher need to COMMUNICATE without shouting it between homeplate and pitcher's mound. That’s why there are signs. And that’s why baseball is like the Cold War in many ways. Some people are trying to send coded messages to the good guys and the bad guys are trying to intercept the message and pass it on to headquarters who will plan their actions accordingly.

And to think I once thought baseball was boring.

There are different types of signs going on during a game, and you’ve probably seen at least two of them if you’ve watched a televised game. One is the sign passed from the catcher to the pitcher, indicating what kind of pitch to throw. The other signs are from the coaches or manager to the players, either to the batter, or to the runners on base.

The catcher usually takes charge of the defense and is usually the most knowledgeable about the quirks and preferences of the batter at bat and of quirks and abilities of the pitcher on the mound. So, the catcher calls for a certain pitch by sending a sign to the pitcher who can accept or “shake it off”, which means the pitcher is calling for something different. You’ve seen these signs before. The catcher signs to the pitcher using his fingers between his legs in his crouch. He has to shield the sign with his legs in order to prevent the opposing team’s coaches from seeing it. And believe me, they are looking for it. Stealing bases and stealing signs is acceptable in this game.

Typical signs might be one finger down for a fast ball, two fingers down for a curve ball, three fingers down for a slider, and a wiggling of four fingers to indicate a change up. (You remember these pitches from the last entry, don’t you? You are coming along just fine, girlfriend! ) The catcher may also tap the inside of either thigh to indicate if the pitch should go inside or close to the batter, or be thrown away from the batter toward the outside of the plate. Sometimes catchers will wrap their fingertips with white tape or paint their fingernails with Whiteout to make it easier for the pitcher to see from the mound.

But if the pitcher is able to see one white tipped finger tapping the catcher's right thigh, so can that pesky runner on second who is standing directly behind him. And he has his own signals to flash back to the third base coach who signals to the batter, “STOP. LOOK FOR FAST BALL TO OUTSIDE OF THE PLATE. STOP.” This is where Baseball Culture Meets Spy Culture.

If the United State used a simple code during World War II, such as 1 for a, 2 for b, 3 for c, etc, we would have been slaughtered. Instead, we came up with the Navajo Codetalkers, using Navajo speakers to speak in what was then a totally indecipherable language to the enemy world. Even if the message was intercepted, the enemy didn’t know what it meant. Those guys helped us win the Big Game. (Ahééhee! Thanks, guys!)

Enter the situation when the opposing team has a runner on second. If the pitcher can see the signals from the catcher, the enemy runner on second can see the signals, so if there is a runner on second, the catcher and pitcher may use alternate signs. They talk to each other in code.

These may involve putting down a sequence of fingers, such as four-two-two-one. Now maybe only the first two mean anything. Or maybe the last two. Or the catcher pounds his glove twice or adjusts his facemask a special way, or touches his chest to call a sign or to indicate what alternative signs he'll be using. Or maybe he places his gloved hand down behind his thigh instead of on top of his thigh. Or maybe he moonwalks behind home plate toward the opposing team’s dugout. (Just kidding, my little tub of chili cheese fries!) Usually the signs aren’t that obvious. If signs are too obvious, or given in a way that the batter can see it or the second baseman can figure it out, it gives the advantage to the enemy.

Meanwhile, the manager in the dugout and the base coaches at first and third have their own little code-generating-dance going on. Have you ever seen the third base coach or the Main Honcho Father Figure Guy give baseball signs? This is one of the most intriguing parts of baseball to me. It’s like a bad imitation of Appalachian hamboning. Slap the thighs and the chest several times, tip the ball cap, wipe the chest, hit the thighs again, touch the cheeks, wave Petticoat Junction, then pound your fists together twice. That means, steal the first chance you get. Or at least the sign of touching your cheek means steal. The funny thing about those signals is most of them don’t mean anything. They are decoys. Somewhere is the midst of all that slapping, there is a small (Secret Code, I’m telling you) change in the pattern that is the real sign of what the player needs to do. I learned that the wipe across the chest can mean that the coach made a mistake and wants to erase what he just said. Think of it as the bodily representation of the undo button on our computers. I guess standing in the sun all day can confuse the best of us.

Signs to the runners once they are rounding the bases are more obvious because secrecy doesn’t matter here. If the ball is behind the runner and he can’t see what is happening in the outfield, the third base coach will give signals to keep running (often a winding motion with the arm) or to stop (two hands up with a stopping motion) based on where the ball is and where the fielders are. Okay, not all the signs rise to the Cold War stealth model. But while you think the players and coaches are just hanging out on the field enjoying the beautiful day and waiting for something to happen, there's actually a whole lot of shakin' going on.

You can try out your own signs in the comfort of your own home. The next time you are sitting with your sweetie watching a game, send some couch signals of your own. Make most of them meaningless, but stick a good one in the noise, such as a suggestive wink, a wet kiss blown through the air, a double cupping of the breasts with both hands ... well … you get the idea. Try out a little intrigue and deception of your own and see what happens. Remember the most important rule of all, baseball is supposed to be fun.

108 Stitches Coming Your Way Fast

2008-07-16T20:00:00.006-08:00

Okay, girlfriend. I’m writing this current entry more for me than for you. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve asked The Boyfriend, “What the difference between a breaking ball and a slider?" "What’s a changeup?" "What the heck is a knuckleball and why does everybody roll their eyes when someone throws it?"

I readily admit, I usually have to wait until the announcers call it. But as you learn baseball, it’s good to know different pitches have different purposes. So for fun, let’s see if we can grasp (no pun intended!) the basics throws.

A couple things determine a pitch: how the pitcher holds the ball, the spin he puts on it when he releases, and how fast he throws it. Those elements determine the path it takes to the plate. A baseball truly is a gorgeous thing: smooth ivory leather encircled with a graceful continuous seam of 108 perky red stitches in an hourglass formation. Using this seam, the pitcher changes his grip on the ball to control the ball’s spin. That contributes to both the speed and the path of the ball. Using a strong kick as he turns his body, the pitcher can add even more speed to the throw.

Uh oh! My eyes are beginning to glaze over. The intricate physics of throwing a baseball are fascinating, but to be honest, I do not find it the most exciting part of baseball. But fear not, my little bag of caramel popcorn. All you need to know to enjoy the game is that the pitcher is not just throwing a ball across the plate, he is pitching. That means he will intentionally throw the ball a certain way because he wants to get a certain result. Pitchers can do incredible and amazing things with a baseball to make it harder to hit. (If the science behind throwing a baseball intrigues you and you want to learn more, go to Fastball, slider, change-up, curveball—an analysis )

Fast balls are the Cadillac of a pitcher’s repertoire. A great fastball pitcher can throw those cannonballs right by some of the best hitters and leave them shaking their heads in disbelief. But Major League starting pitchers can’t only throw fast balls, no matter how loaded with speed. Batters will have the pitcher figured out in a heartbeat, and he won’t stay in the Major Leagues very long. The pitcher has to mix it up to keep the batter guessing and throw something at the batter he has a hard time hitting. Batters don’t only watch the ball. They also watch the pitcher’s arm and wrist action to determine what the pitch is going to be.

With some help from two pitching guides for fans from the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel and the Seattle Post Intelligencer, and some guidance from The Baseball Buddy, here’s a guide for the most common pitches.

Four Seam Fast Ball: Remember the loopy seam with the 108 stitches? In a four seam fast ball, the pitcher holds the ball with his fingers on the widest apart location of the seams with his fingers on the seams. This pitch is the fastest pitch and the easiest to control because it comes in straight. Batters love it if it comes in high and in the middle of the strike zone. That’s potential home run territory. This is your fastest pitch, usually clocking in between 90 mph and, God forbid, 100 mph.

Two Seam Fastball (also called a Sinker) is similar but the pitcher holds the ball at the narrowest apart location of the seams. This grip causes a spin that causes the ball to drop or sink in the strike zone. This pitch comes over the plate at a slower speed than the four seam fastball.

Change Up: The pitcher’s arm action is similar to a fastball, but it comes in at a slower speed so it messes with the batter’s rhythm. You might see a batter swing early on the ball and strike, or hit it weakly so he fouls or hits a wimpy little grounder. But if a batter sees it coming, he has plenty of time to slam it hard. The element of unexpectedness is important.

A breaking ball refers to pitches that do not travel in straight line. A breaking ball has some sideways or downward motion on it. Curveballs and sliders are two kinds of breaking balls. The Baseball Buddy and The Boyfriend both had to help me on this one. (See, I had to ask the questions yet another time!)

Slider: A slider comes in and takes a dramatic move on a horizontal plane, starting on one side of the plate and moving toward the other. Depending on whether the batter is a righty or a lefty, it could be moving towards or away the batter.

Curveball: A curve ball comes in and moves away from or towards the batter (again depending on whether the batter is hitting from the right or the left of the plate) but it drops as well as it moves across the plate. It tends to be slower than the slider.

Splitter: A splitter has a similar release as a fastball and it has a lot of speed, but the pitcher splits his fingers farther apart in his grip. This causes the ball to come sailing fast over the plate, and then drop at a dramatic angle at the last minute, like a ball falling off the end of a table. Think of it like that old joke of poking someone’s chest and when he looks down, you clip his nose with your index finger. Nasty, but effective.

Knuckleball: Tim Wakefield with the Red Sox and R.A. Dickey with the Mariners are the only knuckleball pitchers I’m aware of currently pitching. The pitcher holds the ball with his fingernails and tries to release the ball with all four fingers with as little spin as possible. This makes the ball “dance” on it ways to the plate so it’s unpredictable. Hitters hate knuckleball pitchers because even if you know a knuckleball is coming, you don’t know where it is going to go. Former AL Umpire Ron Luciano says about the knuckleball, “Not only can’t pitchers control it, hitters can’t hit it, catchers can’t catch it, coaches can’t coach it, and most pitchers can’t learn it. It’s the perfect pitch.”

The Baseball Buddy adds his two cents on the knuckleball, "Knuckleballers? They’ve always been rare, so they’re fun to watch. Unfortunately, the new domed stadiums are making them even rarer. The dead air inside a domed stadium makes the knuckleball, which depends on air currents for its deceptive movement, useless. Another good reason for baseball being played outdoors, the way nature intended. "

All of these pitches try to achieve the same purpose, summed up nicely in the haiku below (printed here in honor of the New York Softball Gang):

Pitcher and catcher
Head for the dugout
The batter stares at his bat
-Cor van den Heuvel in Baseball Haiku, Norton Books, 2007.

A Gang of Thieves and Assassins

2008-07-11T20:24:00.007-08:00

I've learned a lot about the game from The Baseball Buddy, so I asked him if he had any strong opinions about pitchers. Of course, he did. Next time we’ll talk about the different kinds of pitches a pitcher uses, but in this entry, I’m going to let the Baseball Buddy share some thoughts about the skinny guy on the mound.

Pitchers are a special breed. Everyone comes to see the great hitters. Pitchers hate hitters. Check out Randy Johnson’s attitude on the mound. He behaves like an assassin— and he could easily be one. A 100 mph pitch directed at a man’s head is a serious matter. The one “beaning” death in major league baseball ties it with hockey, usually considered a far more violent sport.

Intimidation is an important part of pitching. “Chin music,” a high-inside pitch, is meant to show the batter who’s in charge. The breaking ball that doesn’t break but continues on its flight toward the batter’s head is not always an accident. If it broke every time, why would it scare the batter? Some pitchers even throw intentional “wild” pitches in order to appear more dangerous.

Of course, sometimes there is more than just the threat of violence. Pitchers purposely hit batters for two reasons: 1.) To settle a grievance. 2.) To retaliate for one of their own teammates being hit. If a batter mouths off to a pitcher or displays some other form of disrespect, he might get hit his next time at bat. When retaliating on behalf of a teammate, a pitcher generally strikes back position for position. You hit my shortstop, I hit yours. Nothing personal. If he hits the batter on the butt, this is understood for what it is and there is seldom a problem. If he hits him higher, this can be taken as an escalation and lead to further trouble.

Pitchers consider themselves at war with batters, and in war anything goes. Quite simply, pitchers sometimes cheat. Many of the most successful pitchers—Whitey Ford, Gaylord Perry, Dizzy Dean— illegally “doctored” the ball. They used hidden tools to scuff the ball, or applied foreign substances to the ball to create an erratic flight. Given current salaries for ace pitchers, you can be sure that these practices are still in use.

Violence and larceny. They have always played a role in pitching and they always will. It’s just part of the game.

The Skinny Kid on the Mound with a 91 mph Fastball

2008-07-07T17:55:00.001-08:00

We’ve covered some basics about hitting (I know there’s a ton more, but you got enough to understand and enjoy the game for now.) Now it’s time to venture into the mysterious world of pitching.

Nothing starts in baseball until someone throws the ball. And it is often thrown by some skinny guy from Kansas. The pitcher has several roles in a baseball game. He throws the ball to the batter; he tries to keep the runner on one base from stealing another; he can be part of the batting order in the National League; and, once he throws the ball, he becomes an active part of the infield, often covering first when needed. (Whew! I think I’d rather be taking a break every once in awhile from all that thinking and working and just hang out in left field, like Manny Ramirez.)

The most important role for the pitcher is to throw the ball in such a way that 1) the batter can’t hit it in the first place, or 2) the batter hits it in a way that the fielders can get him out before he gets to first base. The pitcher also has to work with the catcher to make sure that he knows what is coming so he doesn’t throw the ball to a place where the catcher isn't.

The Main Honcho Father Figure Guy (the manager) and the pitching coach also have a role in all this. They decide who gets to pitch, how long they pitch, and when a pitcher is starting to go down in flames. Trust me, girlfriend, these people are serious. Grady Little, former Boston Red Sox manager, lost his job because he left Pedro Martinez in too long in the 2003 American League Playoff game against the New York Yankees during the playoffs and lost the game in the 11th inning. That’s how serious the honchos are about baseball.

So let’s start by talking about the different kinds of pitchers. There’s the cute ones (like Brandon Morrow), the big ones (like Randy Johnson) , the ones that wear glasses (like Edwar Ramirez) the submariners who throw sidearmed (like Scott Sauerbeck back in the day), the ones who are legendary pitchers but also assholes (like Roger Clemens), the scary ones who look like they could eat you for lunch (like Mariano Rivera and Bobby Jenks), the ones with mental tics (like Jonathan Papelbon) and one whose claim to fame is a bloody sock (like Curt Schilling.)

Nah, just kidding. You can make up your own categories for your own personal reference, but usually pitchers are classified by starting pitchers, relief pitchers, and closing pitchers. All these pitchers do the same job, but at different times during the game.

The starting pitcher, or starter is the pitcher who pitches the first pitch to the first batter of a game. Any pitcher who enters the game after the first pitch of the game is a relief pitcher. The closing pitcher or closer (television stole this name for the detective show starring Kyra Sedgwick) is a relief pitcher who is put in at the end of the game to seal the deal and get those final outs in the game. It’s usually someone who can pitch well to both right handed batters and left handed batters and who has a killer fastball. It’s a glam position with prestige, but you better be a cool dude if you are a closer. Often closers come into the game when there are runners on base, so the team is depending on him to shut down the momentum.

If all goes well, the starting pitcher will pitch about 7 innings or about 100 pitches. In some cases, the starting pitcher will pitch a full game but it’s a rare feat. Pitchers get a 3-5 days rest between pitching, so you usually see about 4 or 5 different starting pitchers for a team. The Boyfriend says that the last pitcher to only get two days rest between pitching was Cy Young himself.

If a starting pitcher is having a bad day (such as those darn 8 run innings that the Mariners have suffered from multiple times this year), he might get pulled and sent into the clubhouse to end his broadcasting day. A middle reliever might be brought in to staunch the wound of bleeding runs or to keep things at bay until the specialty relievers are brought in toward the final innings. One of the better middle relievers in his day was a pitcher named Joe Page who pitched for the New York Yankees in the late 1940s. Go figure.

Sometimes in the last few innings, especially when the team is ahead and the manager wants to keep it that way, specialty pitchers are brought in, such as a pitcher who is good against left handed swinging batters, to pitch just against one batter. Sometimes you’ll hear the word "set up pitcher" which means the pitcher that pitches right before the closer is brought in. Closers don’t usually pitch for more than an inning or two. They have to be good and deadly, but they don’t have to be marathon pitchers.

See, it’s all strategy. The right tool for the job. A good looking, dark haired pitcher with soulful eyes… sorry, got off message there. Pitchers need to be more than a pretty face, and pitchers need to throw more than a killer fastball. A starting pitcher needs a couple different kinds of pitches in his pocket in order to keep ahead of those thirsty, hungry, slammer batters who are looking for a nice fat tomato across the plate. Closers don’t need as many different kinds of pitches to be good, but they better be deadly and they better have pinpoint control.

Where do pitchers hang out while they are waiting to pitch or while warming up? These guys hang out in the bullpen which is often an enclosed place along the side of the field. They sit and wait and warmup and sometimes get in trouble.

The bullpen is a place, but it also refers collectively to all of the relief pitchers waiting to be called out to pitch. And here is where the drama comes in. Ever seen the manager make “THE CALL TO THE BULLPEN” on televised games? Main Honcho Father Figure Guy picks up the TOP SECRET PHONE in the dugout (where all the fielders and hitters and the starting pitcher are sitting) and calls over to the bullpen (where all the relievers are sitting.) The camera zooms in. We see the Manager looking very serious, and nodding his head. We can almost hear the conversation.

“Hey, Bowser! Tell the skinny guy from Kansas to start warming up. I got to get that loser on the mound outta here. And send us down a couple dozen nacho boats with extra jalapenos from the snack bar while you are at it. With extra napkins.”

What Is the Deal Between the New York Yankees and the Boston Red Sox?

2008-07-03T17:16:00.001-08:00

As in all sports, baseball has its rivalries, and the granddaddy of all baseball rivalries has got to be between the New York Yankees and the Boston Red Sox. As the two teams play each other in New York over this Fourth of July weekend, The Girlfriend gives pause and considers what might be behind this stubborn rivalry. I posed the question to Joanie The Softball Diva and Terminal Yankees Fan and The Boyfriend, who was born and raised in Red Sox Nation, to give me their views from their respective teams.

Joanie The Softball Diva and Terminal Yankees Fan on THE RIVALRY:

The Yankees/Red Sox Rivalry is called the greatest rivalry in all sports. Well, it’s definitely true…..but in all actuality it’s a rivalry between two cities and two fan bases. Boston, perpetually with a big chip on its shoulder because it is a smaller city and no matter how hard it tries…..it will never, ever be as cool as New York.

Same thing with their fans. The Boston fans are possessed, downright maniacal when it comes to their beloved Red Sox. That’s not a bad thing. But in Boston, it’s the only thing. In New York, of course there are passionate die-hard Yankees fans, but there is also other life. Millions of New Yorkers don’t even watch baseball. They have theater, comedy clubs, art museums, rollerblading, dance clubs and many other avenues for entertainment. Boston….smaller city, smaller venues for fun, no other life than to be an obsessive Red Sox fan. “Wicked” hard life.

They say the rivalry began with the famous Curse of the Bambino. The Red Sox were very successful until they sold Babe Ruth to the Yankees and then had a drought of 86 years until they finally won a World Series in 2004. Supposedly Harry Frazee sold the Babe so he could finance a production of the play, No, No Nanette, but Wikipedia disputes that claim. Whether or not the timing of the sale financed the play, the trade apparently doomed the Red Sox to eight decades of anguished suffering for giving up the greatest player of all time. Of course with World Series victories in 2004 and 2007 the curse is over…..or so you would think.

A Red Sox fan working construction on the New Yankee Stadium, which will open in 2009, buried a Big Papi Red Sox jersey deep into a concrete slab in the bowels of the Stadium. Someone, maybe a Yankee fan, ratted him out. It garnered all kinds of publicity….a new curse on the New Stadium. Silly Red Sox fan….didn’t he get the symbolism! Being BURIED at Yankee Stadium. Well, several thousand dollars in overtime jack hammering later, the shirt was dug up, cleaned up, and in a snide turning of the cheek, the Yankees higher-ups ended up auctioning the shirt off to the tune of $75,000 and gave the money to the Jimmy Fund, which is a favorite Red Sox cancer charity. No way that good karma will be erased.

The Red Sox are playing really good ball right now and the Yankees will have to work really, really hard to even come close to catching them for the Eastern Division title. Of course there is always the Wild Card…..and there is always the delicious possibility of seeing all those Red Sox fans going back to their normal miserable state. They really have had too much success lately (Super Bowl XLII notwithstanding) and the fans really are better suited to be railing, wailing and flailing against those damn Yankees. It’s a city thing…..it’s time for things to go back to normal. New York on top.

The Boyfriend responds, defending Red Sox Nation:

My father was born in the summer of 1921, three years after the Red Sox won the World Series. He grew up during the Depression, married, raised 6 children to middle age, lost a brother who died in his 50s, a father who died in his 70s, and a mother who died in her 80s. He watched as the country experience five wars, five economic recessions, bought and sold five houses, delighted in the birth of countless grandchildren and great grandchildren and watched as the New York Yankees won the world Series 26 times and the Red Sox won none.

Does anyone really need me to explain why Boston HATES the Yankees?

Boston has always been the “Bastard Stepchild” to New York City. New York is the financial capital of the US, had the tallest building, and for a time had the largest population. New York is the EMPIRE State. Massachusetts is the BAY State. Yes, the State that has a lot of Bays.

It makes sense that Boston has a self-esteem problem, doesn’t it?

That brings me back to my Dad. He said that New Yorkers were just a bunch of “animals.” When I was very young, I believed him and when I got older, I blew it off as one of his “things”. I know that most of that feeling was a manifestation of the rivalry between the Cities, but I wonder if the Red Sox had won 26 world championships if that feeling might have been softened somewhat.

But... that’s what sports is all about, rooting for your team, right? What would a Red Sox/Yankees series be if the intensity wasn’t there? That’s what it’s all about.

My father was 83 years old when the Red Sox finally pulled it off. He was living in Bridgewater, Massachusetts, at the time. Half way through the fourth game of the series when it became obvious that the Red Sox were going to win, in spite of the fact he had stopped driving at night years before, my father put on his Red Sox jacket, his Red Sox ball cap and went to the local bar to watch the rest of the game. This college town bar was filled with students and they rolled out the red carpet for him. He became the impromptu elder statesman of the “Red Sox Nation” They gave him a seat right up front, and bought him a screwdriver. He had the time of his life.

So…look out New York. The Red Sox are back in business and your days on the top of the shit heap are numbered. Only 24 more World Championships to go!!!

Love and Baseball in Seventeen Syllables or Less

2008-06-28T11:53:00.001-08:00

Last week I had the pleasure of spending time with friends who spoke Japanese. These skills came into play late in the night when we pulled out a book of Baseball Haiku (yes, there is enough haiku about baseball to form a very delightful book edited by Cor van den Huevel and Nanae Tamura). Some of the haiku were translated from the Japanese, but the original Japanese was included, so Radio Guy (a little rusty from his distant Japanese minor and years teaching English in Japan) proceeded to read baseball haiku in the Japanese and then give the written translation. What a delightful evening! I strongly suggest you all do this (best accompanied by either ice cream bars or a small glass of Blantons bourbon as we did).

Here are some translated Japanese haiku verses and a few English haikus as well. All selections are taken from the book Baseball Haiku. While I don’t have direct permission from the authors, I give a respectful bow and extend an open palm filled with thanks and a shared awe of this great sport.

A couple on night games by Yamaguchi Seishi:

Watching a night game
The ordinary ground of night turns
Into enchanted ground

The night game
At the bottom of the stadium
The brightest spot on earth

A black ballplayer
The night game only just
Lights him up.

Until raised to Heaven
I’ll go to fields of green
Carrying my glove
--Yotsuya Ryū

Rainy night
A hole in the radio
Where a ballgame should be
--Ed Markowski

Summer afternoon
The long fly ball to center field
Takes its time
--Cor van den Heuvel

For those who remember the Yankees-Cleveland Game played in Cleveland in the 2007 post season:
Waiting to bat
The hitter swats
A swarm of gnats
--Sylvia Forges-Ryan

Above
The bartender’s head
Game 7
--Dan McCullough.

And finally, one for all of those who believe love and baseball can co-exist (like the Girlfriend):

Home run drive
Into the cornfield –
Fielder and girlfriend disappear.
--Edward J. Rielly

All from Baseball Haiku Edited By Cor Van den Heuvel and Nanae Tamura. Norton Press. 2007

Got a baseball haiku? Send it on in to The Girlfriend. Email to aileen.mcinnis@gmail.com.

The Fab Boys of Summer

2008-06-23T19:10:00.000-08:00

Lately, this blog has assumed a serious tone of learning about strike zones, box scores, and batting averages. Time to take a seventh inning stretch. Girlfriend, it’s time to talk about hair.

Most baseball players are clean shaven, well groomed and all their hair fits under their respective team caps. There is even something in the New York Yankees's contract requiring everyone to be short haired, clean shaven representatives of The Big Apple. But just like girls in Catholic school uniforms who find some way to style it up and express themselves despite the rules, there are some huge exceptions to this trend in baseball, and I have to admit, most of them seem to be connected to the Boston Red Sox.

Back in the glory days of the 2004 season of the Red Sox when everyone grew their hair long on the team in some collective male bonding ritual, Johnny Damon was the lion of them all. His glorious hair was cut, however, by the Delilah called the Yankees which was only one of many reasons he shouldn’t have gone to New York.

Current day BoSox first baseman Kevin Youklis has been having what appears to me a series of really bad hair days. I really love Youklis (or YOOOK! as his fans call him) as a player, but I can not get past the close shaved, well shined chrome of a dome combined with that goatee. It’s a little too apocalyptic-post-modernist-neo-thug-something that creeps me out a bit. Best to keep the hat on, Youk, and just play ball.

Of course, then there's Manny being Manny. Manny Ramirez has got to be the king of locks that scream "I've got to be me!" or maybe more accurately whines "I got sick of combing my hair." Over the years, the longer his dreads have extended down his back, the better a hitter he has become, so I'm sure a haircut won't be coming soon. He is quite the sight when the force he channels into hammering the ball over the Green Monster ("Hello, Tokyo!") pops his helmet off his head, sending his hair flopping like a mop gone bad as he jogs the bases. I imagine those “do-rags” that keep his hair under the batting helmet have to be custom made.

Another outfielder, Coco Crisp, (who also has one of the best baseball names) sports some stylish cornrows capped in black beads that I swear you can hear clicking as he throws himself into second base for yet another steal. Coco is looking sharp these days, but it isn't easy setting a trend in tresses. In a recent game, Coco charged the mound after getting hit by a ball thrown by a Tampa Bay pitcher. In the fight that followed, some hairpulling ensued and it wasn't Kevin Youklis who got tugged. Those braids and beads make an easy target. I guess fashion comes at a price no matter what sex you are.

For keeping the 1970s alive in the fabric of fashion statements, credit is due to Randy Johnson of the Arizona Diamondbacks (formerly of the Seattle Mariners and the Yankees) for keeping the mullet alive.

Equal time must be given to the Chicago White Sox who are the newest bad boys of the follicle set. Their taste run to those funky "soul patches" that are waning from fashion. Remember David Oritz with the pink bat on Mother's Day? Check out Bobby Jenks and Nick Swisher and their pink highlighted patches of hair celebrating their respective mothers. Can't say that those boys don't have a good sense of humor, if not a sense of of what truly looks good.

Hair is supposed to be fun. Baseball is supposed to be fun. But if you are a player who likes to combine the two, steer clear of the Yankees. Delilah and her scissors are waiting for you.

Reading A Box Score

2008-06-17T06:21:00.001-08:00

Open up your sports page to the baseball section. Don’t be intimidated by the rows and rows of numbers you see. For many, the lure of baseball is intertwined with love of the thousands of numbers it generates. Some people inhale these numbers and crave the stats that come with the morning paper, or the first internet search of the day. Maybe someday you will, too. Or maybe not. It doesn’t matter. The most important stat in baseball is which team has most the most runs at the end of the game. But understanding a few simple stats will help you get a better sense of how well a batter is doing. So let’s start with interpreting that box score you found in the newspaper.

Here one from Seattle from a recent game against the Washington Nationals. I know, it’s kind of miserable (Seattle is 16 ½ games out of first place in their division) but it will work for our purposes.

Let's start with the big one at the end of the line. AVG means batting average.

AVG - The batting average measure a player’s frequency of getting a safe hit or the number of times he got on base divided by the number of at bats. Say what? All you need to know is that the higher the batting average, the better the batter is hitting. The high .200s is good. Getting into the .300s is great (usually Ichiro Suzuki is batting in the .300s this time of year.) If you are Chipper Jones of the Atlanta Braves (the top batter in the National League right now), you are batting .414 right now which is out-of-this-world. In comparison, the top guy in the American League is Milton Bradley from the Texas Rangers who is batting .330.

The last ballplayer to end the season with over a .400 average was Ted Williams, who if you know him at all you know him as either A.) the guy who gave his name to the new underwater tunnel in Boston in the Big Dig or B.) the guy frozen after death by his family so he could be resurrected in the future. But Ted was a darn good ball player for the Boston Red Sox over a span of almost three decades. A .400 batting average means that for every 10 times that you have an at bat, you have a hit four times (which means you get a single, a double, a triple or a home run.) That is really incredible. Have you heard the phrase, “batting a thousand”? Now you know why that means really, really good!

Continuing on with the box score, you’ll note that the names are listed in the batting order. Let’s play Bingo, shall we?

AB stands for At Bats. That’s how many times a batter came to bat and got a hit or made an out. Not to be confused with plate appearances (walks, getting hit by the pitcher, and sacrifice flies or bunts aren’t counted as at-bats. They get counted elsewhere.) Ichiro (ISuzuki at the top of the order) was credited with 4 At Bats, which means he was struck out or got a hit (and it looks like he got one hit) four times. (See, box scores look intimidating, but they really are simple as pie. )

R - Runs . That’s how many runs the batter made by making it all the way around the bases and stepping on home plate. The total of runs at the bottom of the total always equals the total score of the team. Mariners lost this game to the Nationals, 5-2.

H - Base Hits. You know this one! This is when the ball is hit by the batter resulting in the batter reaching base.

BI (or RBI) Runs Batted In. Another way to judge how good a batter is. RBI stands for Runs Batted in reference to how many runs are scored due to the batter’s performance. Lots of times the heavy hitters have the best RBI records. RBIs includes runs made by others because of your performance, but also include the batter himself in the case of a home run. (He made it home because of his hit.)

BB - Base on Balls. that’s how many “walks” at batter earns. While walks don’t show up in the batting average, they are important because a good batter has a good eye and can distinguish balls from strikes. Sometime a really good hitter may have a lower batting average because he walks a lot. So batting average isn’t everything. Getting on base is what counts

SO- Strike Outs You''ll see strikeouts also designated as "K" when looking at pitching statistics. A strike out is happens when the batter receives three strikes during his time at bat. A really good pitcher can be the reason for a strike out. So can a really bad hitter (though I'm convinced there are no really bad hitters in the Major Leagues. Except maybe American League pitchers during inter-league games.) But a power hitter such as a DH (Designated Hitter) can generate a lot of strike outs as well. (Updated and Corrected 7/2/08)

You will see these stats announced or posted during the game as well, either on the scoreboard or posted at the bottom of the television just before the commercial break. There are also stats that deal specifically with pitching and fielding, such as earned run average or errors, but that’s a whole ‘nother entry.

Just remember, for batting and hitting, higher numbers are good for hits (H), batting average (AVG), balls on base (BB) and runs batted in (RBI). And the higher your seat number, the farther you are from home base. Which doesn’t matter as long as you show up for the game.

Batter Up! A Mini-Guide to Hits

2008-06-12T06:08:00.000-08:00

Alright, girlfriend. If you’ve stuck with me this far, you know about the rules around arguing with an umpire, strike zones, how to get rid of a football accent, batting order, designated hitters, why you should take a cafeteria tray to a live game, ways to develop a passion for a team, hanging in with a losing team, and the importance of watching Bull Durham at least once every baseball season. You are coming along quite nicely! Review if needed, but let’s cowboy up and let’s talk about hitters.

The beginning focus of every play is what happens amongst the pitcher who throws the ball, the batter that tries to hit the ball, the catcher who catches the ball if it isn’t hit, and the umpire who is watching the ball’s relationship with the strike zone.

Announcers and sports writers will often describe hits with a vivid phrase or a zippy string of words. So as we discuss the different kinds of hits, let’s work on your baseball “patter” and give you some colorful phrases to use to describe the hits you see.

Every legal pitch will result in a foul, a ball, a strike or a hit. Hits can result in any of the following:

Base hit: refers to any hit that gets a batter on base. (I was watching the Monday game with Marcy the Bus Attendant who was a bit of a sailor in another lifetime and since we were watching the Seattle Mariners, we started shouting the nautical phrase “Permission to come aboard, Captain!” for base hits.)

Bunt: a type of hit that occurs when the batter hold the bat stationary and lets the ball bounce off the bat into fair territory, not very far from home plate. This usually done with no outs, because when you bunt, unless you are a really fast runner or the catcher bobbles the ball, you are probably going to be thrown out. So why do it? Typically a batter bunts if there is already a runner on first base. The runner on first can usually advance to second before any one gets to the ball, because whoever reaches the ball usually takes the sure thing and throws it to first to get an out. This is called a sacrifice bunt and there is an important lesson here. Sometimes, you just got to take one for the team. So in your patter, clap appreciatiatively and mutter, “nominate that guy as a saint” or “nice tapper” or "ba-da-bing!"

Note: You see, it doesn’t really matter if what you say has ever been said before or sounds silly. All baseball talk sounds silly when it is first said. Baseball has lots of rules and minutiae, but this is one of the places you can be colorful and creative as a fan. If you are bored, make stuff up until you get a rise out of The Boyfriend or The Baseball Buddy. Once you do, back off a bit so they don’t throw you out of the room. Don’t worry. You’ll get another chance, especially if someone hits a home run. (SEE HOME RUNS BELOW.)

Fly Ball: a ball hit by the batter that travels up into the air and has not yet touched the ground. If it is caught before hitting the ground, and these often are caught, the batter is out. If a batter hits it in such a way that the ball is caught and he is out, but it is not the last out and a runner advances, that is called a sacrifice fly or sac-fly. The advancing runner, of course, can not leave the bag before the ball is caught so he has to have enough time to get to the next base without getting thrown out for this all to work. If it is a weak hit, call it a “blooper” or use the word “plunked.” If it goes deep into the outfield, you can use phrases like “to the wall” or “slammer” or "Ball OverBoard!"

Home Run: Most home runs are hit outside the fence and inside fair territory. Rarely, you might see an in-the-park home run which means the ball doesn’t leave the park but goes somewhere, orders a hot dog or talks to a fan, but something happens that the runner has enough time to circumnavigate (a great Mariner term!) all the bases and make it home on the hit. The home run hit out of the park is where you can practice being the most colorful. Yell, “It’s outta here!” “Goodbye baseball!” If it is particularly well hit, try “That ball needed a passport!” or “Hello, Tokyo!” or “To the Moon, Alice!” or “That ball's going downtown!”

Ground ball: a ball that hit by the batter that bounces or rolls along the ground. You can call it a “hop” or a “grounder” or a “bouncer.”

Line Drive: a hard hit ball that travels horizontal to the ground. If you can hit it between two fielders, it will often zip into the outfield too fast or far away to be caught. But you may also see one of those great plays where the infielder throw himself head first and reaches out at some impossible angle, and comes up with the ball in his gloved hand pointing victoriously to the sky and now wearing a uniform smeared with dirt which he wears as a kind of status symbol for the rest of the game. When you see a line drive and it heads to the outfield without being caught, you can say, “Frozen rope!” “It’s the zipster!” “Coming through!” or “Right down the pipe!” Or The Boyfriend’s favorite, “He got a piece of that one!”

Baseball is fun, so whether you attending a live game or watching one on tv, try your hand at some colorful patter. If you are watching with other Girlfriends, challenge each other and see who can be the most creative in their baseball announcing. (HINT: Your suggestions sound a whole lot better after a couple of margaritas.) And while you are at it, throw me “a tomato over the plate” and post a comment with your own suggestions. I need some new lines.

Arguing with the Umpire

2008-06-06T11:27:00.000-08:00

One of more enduring images of Major League Baseball, for better or for worse, is that of the umpire and the manager face-to-face and nose-to-nose yelling at each other until the Main Honcho Father Figure Guy, so apoplectic he can’t stand it, steps back and kicks dirt on the umpire’s shoes, which must be the cardinal sin of all things to do to an umpire, because that’s when the umpire throws his head back, and roars and points his thumb up and out, and throws him out of the game. Sometimes it is followed by more screaming and cursing, and trying to pick up a base and throw it, but no matter what, the manager is out for the rest of the game. The camera follows him as he stomps off the field, charges through the dugout and disappears into the locker room, never to be seen for the rest of the game. This scene always reminded me of a cross between a two year throwing a tantrum and two roosters butting up chest to chest to fight over the pretty chicken in the barn.

I mean, the umpire is deciding the future of your team. Why do you want to piss him off and get him on your bad side? I’d make him cookies before the game, ask about his kids, be helpful in chasing after the balls, and tell him that he looked good in blue.

Wrong! Wrong! Wrong!

One of the things I’ve learned about baseball is that there are all these weird traditions and subtle psychological plays. This is one of them. (Plus, I learned that it is totally inappropriate to give baked goods to an umpire before the game, and the umpire is specifically instructed not to be over familiar with the players, so he wouldn’t answer the question about his kids anyway!)

First of all, the umpire is often referred to as Blue, because of the color of his uniform.
There are usually four umpires in a MLB game. The one at the plate, is the umpire-in-chief, or plate umpire. He’s the one you see the most because he is calling strikes and balls. The other three are positioned around the three bases (thus called base umpires) but will move around to see the ball better and to keep out of the way of the players.

Number 1 Rule for umpires and printed in capital letters in the official rule book -- BE IN POSITION TO SEE EVERY PLAY.

Another important rule, the umpire’s call of a ball or a strike is final. Team members are not allowed to object to that decision or ask another umpire their opinion. Of course, batters do in a subtle, yet loud and fairly obvious way. Sometimes the batter will ask the umpire about his decision, so he can get a good sense of how the ump is defining the strike zone. And sometimes, especially as the game goes on, the batter shows his disagreement through the incredulous stare, the look that can wound, the ever so slight shaking of the head, and sometimes a little zinger under the breath directed to no one in particular.

One exception to the rule that batters can’t appeal to another umpire is the “check” swing or half swing. If a player starts to swing at a ball, then “checks” or halts his swing about halfway and the throw is outside of the strike zone, the plate umpire can request, or the manager or catcher can appeal to the first base or third base umpire to judge if the batter went far enough around to call it a full swing (thus a strike) because he missed the ball. The first base umpire is at a better angle to see how far around the bat goes.

Another important guide for an umpire is to call every play as accurately as they can. If he is sure about a call, he should not be intimidated by an angry player or saliva spraying manager. If he is not sure about a call, he should consult with other umps. And he should not play “compensatory justice" and try to make up for a bad call he might have made earilier by calling a favorable rulingl to even things ups. It should just be based on what is in front of him. There is no instant replay in baseball (on television yes, but the umpires never review an instant replay if a call is questioned like they do in football.) An umpire can request the help of another umpire but an umpire can never question the call of another umpire without being invited to. So that means the umpire’s call is pretty important. And you know, sometimes, they are wrong. A manager can appeal to the umpire to reverse a decision, such as a “safe” or “out” on base decision (but remember, not on balls and strikes.)

Thus that’s where the psychology comes in. That’s where the rule against attacking the umpire had to be put in, too.

Managers and players are not allowed to touch or assault the ump. Kicking sand on Blue’s shoes is considered contact (think of it as granular assault) and it’s come to symbolize the ultimate in disrespect. Past managers Earl Weaver of the Orioles and Billy Martin of the Yankees were the worst examples of the out of control displays of disagreement. We are a kinder and gentler nation now and there seems a much lower tolerance for disrespecting Blue. "Baseball follows culture!" the Boyfriend likes to expound and it certainly applies to this issue.

That brings us to another rule. If things get out of hand, an umpire can use his judgment to remove or eject a player or manager from the game. And you would think that a manager would avoid being tossed at all cost, but au contraire, my little cheese dripping nacho boat.

Arguing with the umpire never changes a strike to a ball, or a ball back into a strike. It usually doesn’t make the runner stealing base any less out at second. The umpire hardly ever changes his call. (though there is an appeal process to the higher ups after a game if the decision affected the outcome of the game.) The Main Honcho Father Figure Guy goes out and takes on the ump, get this, because his guys want him to. People get very passionate about their baseball and the manager is no exception. A manager defending his players fires up the crowd and it fires up the players too. The Boyfriend’s wisdom on this piece is, “He is not arguing because of this call. He is arguing for the next call.” It is a piece of baseball theater.

Sometimes the tantrum is a merely meltdown of a man who needs to learn to keep his temper. But sometimes it is actually a subtle stroke of strategic play. Joe Giardi, current manager of the Yankees, got thrown out recently for Yankees just recently (for “granular assault” of all things) and his team roared back and won the game.

Lou Piniella, former skipper for the Seattle Manager and now managing the Chicago Cubs, tells a story of how he wanted to charge up his lackluster team. When he handed in his batting order to the umpires, he asked, “I need to get thrown out of this game. Which one of you wants to do it?”

I think it’s a guy thing.

The Loveable, Miserable Cubbies

2008-06-01T10:34:00.000-08:00

In the last entry, I talked about slumps and streaks. There is the kind of slump where your team has a four, five or seven game losing streak. And then there is the kind of streak that the Chicago Cubs have been going through since 1908. The Cubs, one of the oldest ball clubs in the country, have not won a World Series since 1908. They have had good teams the last couple years, but somehow, the prize always slips from their grasp in the final weeks of the season. I asked a friend of mine, Steve, The Hopeless, Hopeful Cubbie’s Fan what it was like to be a Cubs fan all his life. This is what he wrote back.

Hey Girlfriend, I don’t want to be ethereal or nothin’ but you have to really understand that professional baseball is the most existential metaphor to life that we have. Besides pretzels, hot dogs and fresh cold beer, there is nothing like the Chicago Cubs and a losing baseball club to bring you back to believe that something spectacular is going to happen only to have your hopes dashed and a total sense of life crashing down. This is followed by a powerful sense of futility only to be put aside by “well, there’s always next year.” Please know that great baseball towns like the Chicago and Boston have had many years of breaking boys' hearts. It seems to be the reflection of life’s tormenting and cruel nature. Life is short and when people have heavy grief and discomfort at the death bed of their father, family and good friends, there is always the break by saying, “Did you hear what happened at Wrigley or Fenway?”

I can only think that Camus, Kafka and Sartre could easily explain “man’s” absurd condition by understanding the Chicago Cubs haven’t won a World Series since before cars, leather belts and briefs. 1908. I only make sense of this by reciting the words of an unknown author who sums it up by stating, “ the security of misery is stronger the misery of insecurity.” It’s easier to stay with what you know and what’s always happened than try to change teams, TV stations, traditions and yet another roster.

My father brought me to a number of Cubs games starting 6 years after my birth at Chicago First Presbyterian Hospital at 7 pound 2 ounces. I remember being icy cold by the east winds off Lake Michigan with no hot chocolate, tea or coffee in sight. Though this was a harsh and strange beginning that would make most females shy away, boys grasp the existential nature of death standing over one’s shoulder.

Only a Cubs fan would grasp these concepts and move forward by inertia, the love of childhood memories and the belief that Harry Caray will meet us at our final resting place.

Please refer to Steve Goodman’s “The Dying Cub Fan’s Last Request.”

The Dirty Little Secret Every Fan Knows

2008-05-28T16:00:00.000-08:00

I was going to continue our baseball lessons by writing about arguing with the umpire. But this week, I’m compelled to tell you the truth. I haven’t been totally honest with you, Girlfriend. I’ve been telling you that baseball is a great, mystical, magical game that is fun to watch. But I’ve been withholding the dirty secret that every long time baseball fan knows. And now it is time for you to know, too.

Sooner or later, baseball will break your heart.

There is no getting around it. The team you love stumbles, falls unconscious, needs life support. Your team suffers the indignity of an inning where the other team scores 8 runs and the final score resemble the football scores of your MOFF (when you were More Of a Football Fan) days. Your team may, as my dear Mariners did recently, lose seven games in a row. Your team may have, as my dear Mariners currently have, the worst record of both leagues. Your team of promise may not only be in a slump, as my dear Mariners were earlier this week, but may in fact be rolling around facedown in the gutter with a bottle of ripple in their hand.

Why do I share this dreary news when I seek to help you like the game of baseball? Because if you watch baseball, you will some day find that your team, yes, your dear team that you have been developing a passion for, learning the batting order, and starting to recognize the players, will have streaks, slumps, bad mojo, debilitating injuries, and undefined malaises that seem to roll in and hang on like a fog over Seattle’s downtown. And it can be painful. When your team has a winning streak going, it’s like the momentum of a fast train. The planets line up, the hits are clockwork, and the game goes like velvet. It is easy to be a fan then. I witnessed a great streak of the Boston Red Sox when during one game, four batters hit home runs in a row and all the pitchers could do (a relief pitcher came in but he couldn’t stop the train) was stare in disbelief while BoSox fans screamed, jumped up and down, and just about collectively wet their pants. It was an unbelievable high.

But when your team’s rushing current of luck hits an eddy and starts working against you, you have to hold on and keep rooting for your team. That, my little bratwurst, is when they need you to believe the most.

Because there is another thing unique to baseball that will keep fans going. Baseball teams play a lot of games in their season -- 162 to be exact. In playing those 162 games, the team with the absolute best record in the country still loses about a third of its games and the team with the absolute worst record in the country (which would be my Mariners) still win a third of their games. So no matter if a team is the best playing the worst, the not-as-good team will probably beat the better team a couple of times in a season, often at least once in a three game series.

Except last weekend when the Mariners played the New York Yankees in their last games played in the current Yankee Stadium. The first two games were a blood bath and the last was a heartbreaker. Close, ahead for the majority of the game, but they couldn’t pull it out.

And when the Mariners went back to Safeco Field in Seattle to play the Boston Red Sox who won the World Series last year and I found myself sitting next to The Boyfriend and Red Sox Fan on the couch, I still had to find it in myself to root for my team. That great play by Ichiro, catching Jason Varitek’s slammer over his shoulder and throwing it back in time to hold the runner at first almost negated the heartache of losing the seventh game in a row on Monday. But not quite.

You have to have a bit of a thick skin and a slight dose of “devil-may-care” attitude when your team enters this black hole and can’t seem to find their way out. This especially comes in handy when your team is losing to the favorite team of someone you know. Like Joanie the Softball Diva and Terminal Yankees Fan. During the weekend rout, after cheerfully declaring, “my boys are spanking your boys,” she actually tried to be kind, saying she hoped my team started winning. “But not until Monday,” she clarified, because her team was in its own slump and they needed to “sweep” the series with the Mariners to improve their record. The Boyfriend was a little more competitive. His compassionate response of the Sox pounding the Mariners that first game was more like “Ha! Ha! Ha!”

But remember the odds. Even when your team has the worst record in baseball, they are still going to win about a third of the time. And on Tuesday, the Mariners broke that losing streak with a dramatic bottom of the ninth inning line drive that brought in the winning run, thus lifting the spirits of every fan at Safeco Field. (Our power went out in bottom of the eighth inning, so we ended up eating ice cream bars and listening to the rest of the game over our battery powered radio which I highly recommend everyone do at least once this season.)

Catcher Yogi Berra once said, “It ain’t over until the fat lady sings.” No one really knows which fat lady he was referring to, but it has come to mean, don’t lose hope. Remember, there are 162 games in all. And it is still only May.

Being In The Zone -- The Strike Zone that Is

2008-05-24T16:33:00.000-08:00

The focal point of watching baseball is watching the pitcher pitch and watching what the batter does with it. So let’s talk about strikes and balls.

Even MOFFs (More Of a Football Fan) knows it’s three strikes and you’re out. That’s so ingrained in our culture that it’s the basis of the California Penal Code. Same thing for baseball. Three strikes and you are out.

If a batter swings at a pitch and misses, that’s a strike. That’s easy. If a batter does not swing at a pitch, the strike zone determines whether a pitch is a strike or a ball. And that’s not so easy.

First, visualize home plate. It’s a pentagon shaped thingy with the pointy piece aimed at the catcher. Imagine home plate like a search light shining straight up into the air. The width of the strike zone is the width of home plate, so the width is the same for every batter.

Now put a batter at that plate. The strike zone goes from his knees to about the chest (technically the midpoint between shoulders and waist.) Think of a line from the chest and a line from the knees extending straight out and dissecting that search light into a box that hovers over the plate. That box becomes the strike zone. And the person who determines if the ball goes through that zone is the umpire hanging over the back of the catcher and wearing the padded IZOD shirt. If a pitch goes through that zone without the batter swinging, the umpire straightens up, turn to his right, does some kind of unique signature hand jive, and yells, "Sttrreeeekkkke!"

If the pitch is outside of that hovering zone and the batter doesn't swing, it’s a ball. Four balls and the batter gets to walk to first base without stress or fear. Did you know that back in the 1800’s, before baseball was standardize, the game was played with four strikes and you’re out, and nine balls before you walked? Imagine how long the games were back then!

When you listen to the announcer, you’ll hear pitch described as high, low, outside, or inside. That’s a description of what kind of pitch it is and where it goes in relationship to the strike zone. High means the ball sailed above the strike zone, low means it bellyed up below the zone, and …. well, you get the idea.

Pretty cut and dried, don’t you think? But au contraire, my little bag of peanuts. Calling a strike is complex. The strike zone changes with each player because it depends on his height, his baseball stance, and to some extent, the umpire's own definition of the strike zone. (Think of it like being fit for a bra. You think that this should be a simple thing, easy to define with everyone using the same tape measure, but in reality, it ain’t necessarily so.)

For example, in 1951, a man named Eddie Gaedel who measured 3' 7" (okay, he was a performer who was also a dwarf) was signed to a one game contract and was put in the line-up to bat for the St. Louis Browns baseball team as a promotional stunt. The strike zone, as you know, was the width of home plate and the length of the space between Eddie’s chest and his knees (which on Eddie measured barely a foot.) The pitcher threw four balls and Eddie walked in his only at-bat. Compare Eddie Gaedel’s strike zone to that of First Baseman Seattle Mariners Richie Sexson who stands 6’ 8” and looks good in a suit and you can start to see the fluidity of the strike zone. Sexson’s strike zone is almost as tall as Eddie Gaedel himself.

I found that unless the pitch is way outside, or sails over the head of the catcher, or forces the batter to duck for safety, it’s sometimes hard to accurately call the ball when you are first learning baseball. Just because your favorite player is up at bat and the umpire calls a strike when he doesn’t swing, don’t think that the umpire is a blind idiot who was recruited from the janitorial crew when the real umpire didn't show up. It doesn’t matter if the batter swings at every good pitch. What matters is that he waits for a pitch that he can swing at it the way he wants to. If the pitch looks good to you and the batter doesn’t swing, you can always take a lesson from The Boyfriend and mutter under your breath, “What was wrong with THAT?” Me? I sometimes like to see if The Boyfriend is paying attention, so when a beautiful pitch rockets fast down the middle of the strike zone and catches the batter looking but not swinging, I like to gush, “That was pretty!” STINK EYE TIME!

Once you start to develop your eye and start recognizing the strike zone and the pitches, you’ll be in a good position to partake of the second all-American pastime -- arguing with the umpire. And that’s what we’ll talk about next.

The Guy Dressed in Glasses and a Number 51 Jersey

2008-05-19T21:44:00.000-08:00

No one is more optimistic at the beginning of a baseball game than the guy sitting in the first row near third base who brought his own baseball glove, hopeful for a foul ball that veers into the crowd, and pops solidly into his leathered hand.

The pitcher hurtles the ball at somewhere between 70 and 100 miles an hour. The batter pounds that sucker with a swing force of Hurricane Katrina which means that if you are in the path of the ball, it is traveling at the speed of “break your fingers off.” And some guy from Yakima, Washington, who is wearing glasses and an Ichiro Number 51 Seattle Mariners jersey holds out his Little League glove in pure belief.

That, my friend, is the American Spirit at its purest.

Now, to know about foul balls, you’ve got to know something about the baseball field. When someone refers to the baseball diamond, that’s the square diamond closest to the crowd . Home plate is at the bottom (think six o’clock on a clock, and each of the points of the diamond is a base – 3 o’clock is First, Noon in Second and 9 o’clock is third base. Inside the diamond and the running path is the infield, and everything outside of that to the wall is the outfield. If you take the lines from the diamond from home plate and extend them straight out, you have the foul line. That foul line extends out until it hits the wall and is marked in the stands by a tall pole next to the wall. If a ball lands outside the foul line or to the outside of the foul pole, it is a foul. If it is inside the foul pole, it’s fair and you should stand up and start cheering because that means its a homerun.

A foul ball is counted as a strike unless there are two strikes already and then a foul doesn’t count against the batter unless it is caught by the opposing team before it hits the ground. (Baseball, you see, is a game of many chances.) So a batter can keep fouling off balls and stay at bat for a long time if he has a good eye. (Ahhh. That makes me miss Edgar!)

If the opposing team is not able to catch the foul balls, who is catching them? Yup. The Crowd. That goofy guy in the Manny Ramirez Boston Red Sox jersey. The guy who bring his glove to the game.

When a ball goes into the crowd, it’s like watching a car wreck. You can’t help but watch and see if anyone gets hurt. People scramble for the ball, pushing over small children and old people alike, then the victor emerge from the waters, holding it up as a trophy, basking in the applause of the crowd, a crowing testament to his fanhood.

Me, I am a chicken. The Boyfriend got really good seats to a Seattle Mariners game one year, and they were definitely in foul territory. I told The Boyfriend that if a foul ball came directly at me, I was ducking to the ground and he needed to lean over and catch it for me. Now I know that some people, like Joanie the Softball Diva and Terminal New York Yankees Fan would not only catch her own ball, but would leap over the front three rows of people if the ball happened to be coming at another girlfriend who was too much of a noodle to catch it. But not me.

Me? I think they should issue a cafeteria tray to everyone in the high risk seats. Not today’s wimpy fast food trays, but the older hot lunch fiberglass trays of our elementary school days. It’s the perfect solution. If the ball is coming your way, put up your tray in a defensive motion and bounce it off. Then at the end of the game, pick up the leftover wrappers, cups, and nacho boats on the floor around your seat and deposit the tray near the garbage can near the exit. No one gets hurt and everyone picks up after themselves. It would be a great promotional night -- Complimentary Cafeteria Tray Night with your home team's logo on the front.

So, girlfriend, if you are going to a live game, follow your instincts. If you have a glove, and you have a competitive spirit, bring it on and join the teaming masses yearning to be shag flies from the comfort of their risk-taking seats. Or you are always welcomed to join me. I’ll be the one under the stadium seat next to you.

The Boyfriend and The Baseball Buddy Weigh In On The Designated Hitter

2008-05-15T21:55:00.000-08:00

Okay, what about this designated hitter thing? It’s not as big and divisive an issue as it used to be, but I find people still have an opinion.

Just a refresher for folks who are learning the game. The Designated Hitter or DH, is a player who bats in place of the pitcher. The DH does not have to play on the field during the defensive part of the game. He just bats and the pitcher is relieved of any batting duties. So he usually is a power hitter who can really slam the ball. The DH is used in the American League, but not the National League and therefore lies the controversy.

Some people think the American League teams have more exciting baseball because there are more homeruns and Runners Batted In because of the Designated Hitter. But other fans claim that the National League without the DH has more interesting strategy of switching out players and strategically changing the batting dynamics in the process. Some claim this makes for better overall baseball.

In the movie Bull Durham, Crash Davis (played by Kevin Costner) says in his famous "I Believe" speech that "there should be a constitutional amendment outlawing astroturf and the Designated Hitter". (Yikes! Astro turf and the DH regarded as being on the same level. It doesn't get more harsh than that. ) The American League started using the Designated Hitter in 1973 (yep, it was the Yankees who did it first, gosh darn it) but the National League still makes the pitcher a regular part of the lineup. The Nippon Professional Baseball's Central League also doesn’t use it, but baseball in Japan is a whole ‘nother entry.

So I went back to my mentors as I often do and gave them a chance to give me their thoughts on the designated hitter.

The Baseball Buddy who knows a lot about baseball and loves to talk about these kind of things writes:

"My feelings on the designated hitter are mixed.
"The good news is: the DH rule has extended the careers of some great players. Because of the DH we were able to watch Dave Winfield swat a few extra homers at a time in his life when he would have otherwise been swatting golf balls.

"The bad news is: It compromises the game's strategy. Baseball is probably the world's most complex game next to chess and cricket (a game incomprehensible to anyone who has not carried an umbrella when the sun was out or spread yeast-paste on his morning toast.) I think that anything that robs strategic options from the game lessens it. Players are better athletes these days--pitchers hit better and hitters hit longer into their careers. I'd like to see the DH go."

The Boyfriend has an opinion, too. He counters:

"I like the designated hitter. I think that overweight, overage, lousy fielders should have an opportunity to play big league baseball too. Sarcasm aside, it really changes the dynamics of the game. There is less strategy, more booming bats. Less stealing and manufactured runs and more macho big bang ‘em up home runs where the overweight, overage, lousy fielders trot around the bases like a dog strolling down the street on a hot summer day. No double switches, here another player is taken out of the game so the pitcher doesn’t have to come up to bat soon after he has been brought in for relief…

"But…Then there was Edgar... One of the best hitters I have ever seen. I’m not sure if he ever held a glove in his hand…but…would I enjoy baseball as much if it wasn’t for Edgar?"

Sigh. Got to love a man who loves Edgar Martinez as much as I do. One of the reasons I stuck with The Boyfriend all these years.

Please, After You.

2008-05-12T16:38:00.000-08:00

Okay, enough about strategies for learning to like the game of baseball. Let’s work on understanding the game better. If you understand it , you’ll learn to like it. Learn a few things at a time and look for them in the game.

On one level, baseball is very basic. Pitchers throw the ball. Batters hit the ball and run toward the nearest base. Infielders and outfielders chase the ball and throw it toward the base the runner is heading for. Umpires make sure everyone plays by the rules. And the crowd eats hot dogs, drinks beer, and stands up every once in awhile when the wave passes through the stands.

On another level, The Baseball Buddy insists that baseball is one of the most complicated games there are next to chess and cricket (which he claims can be only understood by the British). But let’s not make anything more complicated than we have to right now.

The purpose of baseball is to get more runs than your opponent so you win the game. You might think that you would want guys that can hit home runs all the time. But au contraire, my little popcorn ball. You want some runners on those bases when your big guy slams a ball over that left wall. It’s like selecting the “Play Three” button on a Vegas slot machine. Instead of one run, you might get two or three or even four. You get ahead faster. So let’s talk batting order.

In football, an offensive team goes out when your team has the ball and another defensive team (usually bigger, meaner ) goes out when the other team has the ball. Players specialize in either offense or defense. But baseball has the same guys playing offense (hitting the ball) and playing defense (catching the ball and guarding the bases.) Some are stronger batters, some are stronger fielders or throwers. Some can do both really well. The batting order is a strategy that tries to work these different abilities in hitting in your team’s favor.

There are nine guys on the team and at the beginning of the game, the Manager (also known as Main Honcho Father Figure Guy) has to submit a team roster listing out what order the team will bat. The team has to follow that order unless they take someone out of the game and substitute another player. Once you are out, you can’t come back in. So the Major Honcho Father Figure Guy plans the order carefully.

The little fast guys who have a pretty good chance of connecting with the ball and getting on base usually are in the first (called the lead off batter) and second positions. They usually aren’t thinking about hitting home runs. They are trying to reach base so when the big guys come in and hit a ball against the back wall, they can hightail to as many bases as they can.

Then the big guys who are strong hitters are usually in third, fourth, and fifth positions. The hope is that they will hit it farther into the outfield or even out of the park and bring everybody on base home. At the bottom of the order (which means the seventh, eight, and ninth positions) is everybody else. If the pitcher is hitting, he is often in the ninth position. Pitchers are usually your weakest hitters because, well, they got a lot on their plate already.

The American League teams use a Designated Hitter or DH, usually about the third or fourth position. This is usually a really heavy hitter guy who hits in place of the pitcher. The DH does not have to play on the field. He just bats. So he is picked for his ability to slam the ball. This allows the pitcher to sit on the bench with his arm covered by his jacket to keep his muscles warm and chew sunflower seeds and spit them on the ground while being shown on national television. Some people think American League teams have more exciting baseball because there are more homeruns. Now the National League teams don’t use the DH. The pitcher has to bat like the rest of the guys and eat his sunflower seeds on the run. But this isn’t all bad, because there is more strategy of switching out players and strategically changing the batting dynamics in the process. Some claim this makes for better overall baseball.

This is the one difference between the two baseball leagues as far as I can tell. The DH is one of those ongoing debates in baseball so try asking you boyfriend what he thinks. Make him defend his position. Or you tell him what you think. Usually people who watch National League teams don’t like the DH and people who watch American League teams defend the DH. In my next entry, you’ll get to hear straight from The Boyfriend and The Baseball Buddy themselves in the next entry as they weigh in on this topic. Trust me, they both will have an opinion.

Pretty in Pink

2008-05-11T19:41:00.000-08:00

Well, whether you understand or even like baseball or not, you've got to smile at seeing David "Big Papi" Ortiz, the power hitter for the Boston Red Sox swing with a pink bat. Yes, pink! I want one bad! Today is Mother's Day and I watched a great game between Boston and the Minnesota Twins. To honor Mother's Day and bring awareness to the battle against breast cancer, some of the batters used specially made pink bats, many player wore pink armbands and others wore pink chokers around their necks. Whatever your feelings on the commercialism of the color pink, you got to love it that the baseball boys honored their mothers and the women in their lives. The Boyfriend says the guys are doing it just to impress the women. I say, it worked.

Baseball Is Like Dating

2008-05-07T21:28:00.000-08:00

When you first start to watch baseball, the games seem too long. So watch strategically. The first couple innings of a game and the last three innings tend to be the most exciting to watch. The first innings are fun because the players haven’t figured each other out yet, especially early in the season. It’s a lot like a date. When you first go out, you don’t know his sense of humor or his sleaze factor or his ability to communicate. So you check him out, you test him, you make small talk. After the second or third date, you begin to be able to predict him, so you respond accordingly and are less likely to make stupid comments or mistakes.

Baseball is like lot like that kind of date. In the beginning of the season and at the beginning of the game, the teams are still figuring each other out. There’s new guys, players have been working out and changing their batting stances, and pitchers may have working on some new pitches. No matter how much footage you’ve seen, (much like a video entry on an internet dating service), it is not until you are throwing and swinging and reacting that you know how the match is going to work.

Watching these beginning relationships is like being in a restaurant and eavesdropping on the conversation of a couple sitting at a nearby table who is obviously on their first date. When pitchers and batters first meet in the batting order, there is more likely to be mistakes and opportunities, thus higher scores and more exciting to watch. Once or twice through the batting order, things settle down because the team has seen what the other has to offer and they adjust accordingly. You often see really solid ball playing, but you might often find the fourth, fifth and sixth innings to be the most snoozy if you aren’t into the technical stuff. This is a good time to make some phone calls or fold the laundry. If you get sleepy during a game, put your head in the lap of The Boyfriend and take a little nap. Or better yet, put your feet in his lap in case he jumps up in response to a very exciting play in the fifth inning and totally blows my theory to hell.

In the last third of the game, not always, but often enough to plan for it, players get tired. Pitchers start wearing out and make mistakes which the batters take advantage of and hit out of the park. Relief pitchers come in and sometimes make things worse. Catchers start to drop catches and runners steal bases. That’s when it gets fun again. Like bumps in a long term relationship, mistakes are made, balls are dropped and connections aren’t made, new relationships start, and things happen fast. So plan your viewing accordingly. Lots of good baseball can happen during the 4th, 5th, and 6th inning, but if you aren’t going to watch the whole game, watch the first innings and the last innings.

Find Your Passion

2008-05-04T20:14:00.000-08:00

Here are three ways to help you learn to like baseball and maybe even develop a passion for it.

First: Find a copy of the movie Bull Durham starring Susan Sarandon, Tim Robbins and Kevin Costner and watch it. That one act will do more to help you understand the lure of baseball than a month of reading my guide.

Second: Find a team you like and get to know them. This might be the team your boyfriend watches. Or look in your back yard. I live in Alaska, and many people gravitate toward the West Coast Teams or follow the teams they grew up with. I’ve adopted the Seattle Mariners as my home team since I can watch their games often. But I probably know the Red Sox the best since I’ve watched many a game with The Boyfriend who is a Massachusetts native and I now have a sister who lives in Boston and is a hopeless fan.

It helps if you are a watching a winning team (always more fun to cheer than to mope) but not necessary. Underdog teams are romantic. Witness the Chicago Cubs and the Cleveland Indians whose claim to fame is not winning the pennant in most of their fans’ lifetimes. Yet they have the most loyal fans in the nation.

I like the teams who have teams with quirky personalities and colorful characters. Good baseball is great to watch, but fun baseball keeps you coming back.

For example, when I started watching baseball a long time ago, I had no cable but could get the TBS Super Station out of Atlanta. I watched many a game while talking long distance on the phone to my boyfriend. In October post-season, the major TV stations carried the games and I started watching the Philadelphia Phillies with Lenny Dystra and John Kruk. Lenny was a great ball player who had also played for the New York Mets, but John Kruk was the Pig Pen of the Phillies, with a filthy batting helmet and bits of grilled cheese sandwiches hanging off his teeth. I loved him, He was a good ball player but he wasn’t boring and he was always doing something he wasn’t supposed to be doing. We Girlfriends sometimes gravitate toward bad boys, you know.

Manny Ramirez of the Boston Red Sox is my current favorite, because his pants don’t fit, his corn rows fly out from under his batting helmet, he never cleans his batting helmet because it is bad luck, and he reminds me of Krusty the Clown on the Simpsons. But he is a demon hitter that strikes terror into the heart of pitchers. The Red Sox in 2003 were fun because they hadn’t yet beat the Curse of not winning the Series in 80 years. They all grew their hair and beards grow long and after Red Sox player Kevin Millar said to the press "I want to see somebody cowboy up and stand behind this team,” the phrase "Cowboy Up!" was often was repeated as a rallying cry by fans and players alike. The Red Sox didn’t win the Series that year, but heck, they were fun to root for.

What you are trying to do is build a passion. If you already love the technical game of baseball, you are probably not reading this blog anyway. But if the technical part doesn’t zing you, you have to find a reason to sit through some slow stretches. During the early 2000s, Edgar Martinez of the Mariners would often hit off foul after foul which would extend his plate appearances an extra five to six times past a full count. It made the game go on forever. I loved this extended play not because it was exciting, but because it was Edgar. I adored Edgar (much to the dismay of The Boyfriend.) Because of my passion for Edgar, baseball, even at its slow pace, was terrific fun.

Third: Watch baseball with people who love the game. And listen to them. Ask questions, but not too many. Nothing more annoying than people talking to you while you are trying to pay attention to what happens after a pitch is thrown. But I’ve learned the most listening to the banter between The Boyfriend and Baseball Buddy. Baseball Buddy has been watching baseball for a long, long time and is a forever Cleveland Indians Fan. He has tremendous passion for the game. I know that when the veins start popping on Baseball Buddy's neck, something important just happened. If you listen, you can learn.

Baseball is a game of personalities. In football, faces and expression are hidden under a helmet and shoulder pads. In televised baseball, high resolution lenses brings you up front and personal-- the sweat rolling off faces, the tics tensing in cheeks, the look in the eyes of the batter that says "bring it on." You are watching people and faces and drama and conflict. And that, to me, is way more interesting than a page of statistics.

¿ Habla Béisbol?

2008-04-29T22:26:00.000-08:00

As you begin your journey to understand baseball, realize you are going into a foreign country. You must learn a new language. When you first learn Spanish, you tend to make embarrassing mistakes (like saying “estoy muy embarazada” I am very pregnant instead of saying “estoy muy apenada” I am very embarrassed.) Baseball has its own language, too, and you can be “muy apenada” if you blurt out something that marks you as a MOFF ( “More of a Football Fan”) Trust me, my Green Bay Packer accent comes out every once in a while and The Boyfriend never fails give me the Stink Eye. So let’s start at the beginning. Here is your vocabulary list to work on.

Innings, Not Periods. Baseball divides itself into nine innings, with a top of the inning (when the visiting team bats) and the bottom of the inning (when the home team bats.) Innings, not periods. Guys are weird about periods and baseball is even weirder about them. Baseball is timeless. Not in the classic way, but it doesn’t set a time limit on a game. You play nine innings and if someone is ahead at the end of nine innings, that team wins. A game can last two hours, but it might last five hours if it goes into extra innings. Never say the fifth period.

Runs, Not Points. In football, a score can give you 1 points, 3 points or 6 points depending how it's done. Basketball can give you 1 point, 2 points or 3 points. Baseball in its simplicity gives you one for one. But don’t call them points. They are runs. And you only get them by in some fashion going around and touching every base in an inning and then stomping on home plate. Never say “the Rockies are ahead by two points.” Stink Eye Time! I know. I’ve been there.

Extra Innings, Not Overtime. I actually heard a sports announcer say the Red Sox had taken the game into overtime, so don’t feel bad if you make that mistake, too. But remember, baseball is timeless. So no overtime. Just extra innings. Teams play to the bottom of the inning and who ever is ahead, wins. If it is still tied at the end of the inning, they start another inning.

Managers, not Coaches. Okay, I mess up here a lot because of my football background. Baseball has coaches, but they usually specialize, like the pitching coach or the first base coach. The Main Honcho Father Figure Guy is called the Manager. They let him wear the same kind of uniform as the other players so he can feel like one of the guys. It’s custom unique to baseball. But when The Main Honcho Father Figure Guy walks out to the mound to talk to the pitcher, it rarely is to say “Hey, we look like twins!” or to say, “Say, me and the guys are grabbing a beer after the game…” It’s to pat the pitcher on the butt and send him off the field.

Seventh Inning Stretch, Not Halftime. The Seventh Inning Stretch is a slightly longer break between the top of the Seventh Inning (after the visiting team hits) and the bottom of the Seventh Inning (when the home team hits.) Don’t ask me why they don’t put it in the middle of the game which would be in the middle of the Fourth (usually about the time I’m taking my nap.) There is no half time, of course. But what the Seventh Inning Stretch lacks in halftime shows, marching bands, and past-their-prime-pop-stars, it makes up in chances to sing “Take Me Out to the Ball Game”, a chance to get a beer at last call, an opportunity to get a head start on traffic, or get “muy embarazada” if you are watching the game at home. Make it quick though. You don’t have much time.

This is for you, girlfriend.

2008-04-28T09:03:00.000-08:00

Admit it. You don’t get baseball. Why do people get so crazy about it? It is hardly America’s national pastime any more. That accolade belongs to football. And football makes sense. Big guys push around other big guys and the little guy with the ball runs really fast. Got it. You can’t ever remember watching an entire game of baseball ever. And now you’ve gone and got involved with a baseball fanatic. Someone whose idea of an exciting date is to go to a bar, order a Miller High Life and watch a Red Sox/Yankees game. And can think that a 2-1 score can be the most exciting game that he ever saw. (Of course, only if the Red Sox win.)

I’ve been there. My family were Green Bay Packer fans so we were genetic MOFFs (More Of a Football Fan). The only baseball games I went to were a few in college and that was more for the tailgate parties and a chance to meet guys than for the game.

And then I started a long distance relationship with a Red Sox fan whose best friend was a Cleveland Indians fan. Sitting on the couch between them and their banter, I figured out quickly that if I wasn’t going to be left behind, I had to learn something about baseball. Up until then, baseball appeared to me to be a game of nothing more than grown men waiting for something to happen: waiting to throw a ball, waiting to hit a ball and waiting for someone to come to your base and waiting for a ball to pop up and come to you in the outfield.

So I kept asking questions of the Boyfriend and the Baseball Buddy. Why does that batter fight with the ump? Shouldn't he be nice to him? Why does the batter go through that funky ritual every blooming time he bats? Isn't that against the rules to try to take out the second baseman when you slide?

It took me awhile, but I found it. I found something that makes me really like the game. It’s the quirkiness, the personalities, the superstitions, the rituals, the teamwork, and the oddities that make me really like this game. Stats still bore me and I’m not one to analyze to death whether a manager should have taken out a starting pitcher sooner and I often fall asleep during the 4^th, 5^th, and 6^th Innings. But baseball is a great game, and if you approach it right, I bet you’ll discover that for yourself. And maybe you’ll fall in love with baseball even if you fall out of love with the boyfriend. So first you have to understand the game just enough to watch it. Then you got to find the fun stuff in it and ignore the stuff that bores you to tears.

This is for you, girlfriend.